Her maiden name isn’t Phelps, by any chance…?
Ah. But are you a confident heterosexual?
I can still remember being called a “fag” in the locker room at school because I spent all my free time with the girls in the drama club, instead of, you know, in rugby scrums and whatnot.
What a strange deductive process the woman has, Charger.
I wonder what she’d think of me if I recommended some Vikram Seth to her?
[Scott Thompson]
Oh, by the way – I’m becoming an Indian woman.
[Scott Thompson]
This was brilliant. Just had to mention it. Carry on.
You win, Otto. You win.
Meh, if I’d really been on my game, I would’ve closed with “Repeat as necessary.”
Stop that.
I know. Man’s making me cackle like the Wicked Witch of the West. Especially with the mental images.
“Whoa boy, I’m really hatin’ this… little to the left there…”
I have a friend like this who we all suspect really is gay. It’s just too much, we all get ‘the’ vibe, and whenever we run into him he immediately brings up women and his love for women. Did he mention he had a date with a woman? And oh how he likes hot women, yes siree! Hi-how-are-you-I-love-women.
I just have a desire to pat his hand whenever I see him and say ‘there, there.’
You’re friends with Tom Cruise?
Rosie O’Donnell fawned over Ferret Herder?
The book was Casino Royale. James Bond is obviously gay what with his British accent and his fancy suits and his shaken martinis. Plus he never settled down with any of the nice girls he was always meeting. And if he was straight he’d call himself Jim.
It can be offensive to have people just assume things about you with no real basis, even if the thing they’re assuming isn’t bad on its own. When you know they disapprove of whatever it is they assume you are, it’s still a bad thing.
I know that guy. My best female friend is in love with him. And he vehemently denies that he’s gay whenever the subject comes up. Between my friend and I, we tend to say, “methinks the lady doth protest too much.”
Among my friends gay circle of friends (she works in theater, and knows many…I’ll let you decide if that’s stereotyping), many of them think I’m gay. I’m not, but I’m secure enough in my masculinity not to let it bother me.
The “sisters” - as she calls them - refer to me as “Big Gay Kev.” A nickname which doesn’t bother me in the least. In fact, I find it funny.
I have a fun suggestion. But this would require your friend to allow a little mocking of his wife. This can be very tricky, but it could pay off huge. It could also cost you a friendship. There are exactly 3 people on Earth I would never do this to. The rest? If I considered them friends and they were married to women that sided with the woman in the OP and accepted that over what is right, I don’t need them as friends.
Act gay. Act flaming. Make Nathan Lane, Jim J Bullock and Boy George look butch in comparison.
But only in front of her friends.
And her friends? Try to “run into” them when she isn’t around. Then flirt and act like you’re trying to pick them up (or actually go for it) and explain to them that she likes being around gay men since she gets a sense of power out of it. Use your most twisted fantasies and attribute them to why she likes being with gay men. Hell, make shit up. Why worry about her social status?
Of course, swear the friends to secrecy. If they think you’re willing to go so far to make your friend’s wife happy, imagine what they’ll think you’ll do for them when you’re all theirs? Knowing you’re straight.
Bonus: You know damn well it’ll get back to her.
Danger: You know it’ll get back to her.
End result? She’s going to be humiliated, you may end up with a girl, your friend may wind up hating you. (It would suck, but if he’s going to stay with her, losing him means losing her.)
Hey, I didn’t say it was perfect. Just a thought or three. Good luck with whatever happens.
Maybe she is insecure in her marriage and afraid that if her husband has any gay friends that they might try to steal him away from her.
Pardon me while I go bleach my brain… (I’m straight but not narrow, but were I to go play for the other team, there’s a real big list of women I’d drool over before I ever got to her.)
Hoom. Back in high school, my personal favored reaction to people speculating as to my sexual preference was to kiss them passionately, then return to whatever I was doing. This may work less well in your case.
WooHooo! Under the wire baby! Yessssss!
I’m not too sure it’s any of your business. He’s your “friend”? So what? She’s his wife.
And as far as his brother is concerned… well, she’s now part of the family and is fully entitled to make a complete ass of herself to them.