Inconceivable.
Questions concerning sexualty are seldom totally innocent.
I would be annoyed as hell if someone emailed me about my sexual preferences.
Unless I’ve expressed an interest in boinking them, it’s really none of their damned business.
Or better yet – fuck her, then tell her you weren’t gay before, but now she’s turned you.
Well, I think most men have some degree of that in them. I don’t participate in the “Man, I’d love to get her in the sack” discussions. You see, that seems like it’s overcompensating. And, frankly, I just think it’s disrespectful and kind of ape-ish.
I also take no interest in professional male sports, like football. And the only reason I can imagine that other men would take interest in something so boring is to indulge in homoerotic fantasy. Me, I prefer figure skating. The little dresses turn me on. Some people think that’s gay, go figure.
So, I do kind of think of myself as far on the straight end of the gay–straight spectrum, just because I don’t feel it is necessary to put any effort into proving that I’m not gay. I also don’t mind if people think I’m gay.
My friend actually does make comments about the women he’d like to “do” and takes a lot of “alone time” to watch movies and TV shows because of the women in them. I’m sure his wife is used to his comments. And I don’t really talk about things like that, so I probably seem gay to her just because of my lack of overcompensating (or compensating at all).
But, like I said, I don’t really mind if someone thinks I’m gay, as long as they don’t treat me like a leper because of it.
Oh, absolutely. And on re-reading my response, I think I should clarify that my pissy attitude was directed at the nosy woman, not at you.
What the fuck?
I was in complete agreement with just about every word you wrote in this thread until I read that line, Charger. Perhaps you should take a step back for a second and think about how mind-blowingly asinine your statement sounds.
By your reasoning, I started watching football not because I enjoyed the competition and drama. It wasn’t because of local pride for the home team, either. It wasn’t because I was awestruck by the sheer athleticism of the sport at the professional level.
No, the real reason I watched my very first football game was that I had a secret hankering for 380lb. linemen when I was six years old.
Certainly that makes more sense than the idea that different people have different definitions of what constitutes a boring activity. :rolleyes:
Am I being whooshed?
May I ask what you’re insinuating?
I feel the way neutron does, too, to a degree. All other things being equal, which would be more likely for a completely hetero male to watch: women skating in complex maneuvres, or men lining up bent over with their butts sticking out? Even though all other things are not equal, that feeling still strikes me in a residual way.
A good thought.
Charger, do a bit of googling for “psychological projection.” Although definitions do vary from authority to authority, here’s one that’s used quite commonly:
“A defense mechanism in which the individual attributes to other people impulses and traits that he himself has but cannot accept. It is especially likely to occur when the person lacks insight into his own impulses and traits.”
To put it another way, we attack in others what we hate (or are afraid of) in ourselves.
I’ve occasionally been successful in social situations in defusing a homophobic diatribe by commenting on the bravery of the speaker in exposing his own insecurities so openly. 
Allow me to re-emphasize…
What I meant was that, yes, football is so boring to me that I can’t think of any other reason someone would enjoy it. And I was also playing upon the irony that sometimes people think I’m gay because I don’t have any interest in seeing a lineup of muscular man asses poised to collide in the grass.
But I will point out that cocky-jock behavior is indicative of overcompensation. And professional sports have a fanatical fanbase that doesn’t quite add up for me. Sometimes it seems the market for all male professional sports is greater than that of pornography.
I didn’t mean to imply that every expression of male machoism makes a man secretly gay, it’s just a possible indicator, especially when it’s excessive. Why, do you want to fight about it? Because the whole man-on-man fighting thing doesn’t do it for me.
The problem is that it’s stupid. Maybe it used to be funny in a “turnabout is fair play!” kind of way, although I doubt it. Whenever I hear the “sports are gay,” it just irritates me because the person who said it thinks it’s sooooo clever.
Since I’ve be enough to say this much, I’ll go a little further: I’m straight, and when the topic is sports, I’d rather watch guys do something that interests me instead of watching women do something that bores me. If I wanted sexy, I wouldn’t be watching sports at all; that’s not why sports interest me. The only women’s sport that has any sex appeal, to me, is tennis. I find skating so damned dull that it hardly matters that the skaters are women- often women who look half-starved, although it’s not quite as bad as gymnastics in that regard.
I’m not sure.
What are you inferring?
Random point:
Bond did, in fact, marry one of the “Bond Girls” in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. However,
She died at the end of the book, shot by one of his many enemies.
Not sure if Charger is still reading at this point…
IMHO if I had a “friend” who A) married someone like this lady, and B) let her influence his life to the extent that he didn’t see people on her say so, and C) you are not going to do anything to keep the friendship alive (eg make an aggressive effort to stay in touch with your friend) and get him away from this marriage, then the “friendship” is not worth saving. Of course maybe my little recap is not an accurate description of the situation, in which case I will FO.
He and I have been friends since 1979, in kindergarten. We didn’t see much of each other in college (when he started dating the woman who is now his wife), then we ended up getting jobs in nearby towns. A couple of years ago, I saw a lot more of him.
There are other indicators about their relationship that annoy me. He had to campaign for nearly a year to be able to spend money on an Xbox. He used me as an excuse for getting broadband internet (“If I sign up this month, Charger gets a month at half price for referring me” --not true).
Here’s a conversation six months ago that is a sample of her people skills…
Husband: Hey, Charger, did you hear who is directing the upcoming Halo movie?
Charger: Nope.
Husband: Peter Jackson [note: Peter Jackson is executive producer, not director]
Charger: Who’s that?
Wife: You don’t know who Peter Jackson is? He’s only the defining director of our generation.
Charger: [bewildered]
Husband: I would say that would be Spielberg.
Charger: I agree, everyone knows Spielberg. Even though James Cameron is my favorite director.
Wife: I knew you would say that.
Charger: [interior monologue] Eat my poop.
Well then you really don’t have much of an imagination, do you?
And yet somehow you fail to see the irony of your own position. You started a thread to lambaste a woman for assuming that half the men she knows are secretly gay, then later posted back to the thread with the idiotic assumption that every male fan of the most popular sport in the U.S. is secretly gay.
Pot, meet kettle.
Again: It’s his relationship with his wife. Why is it any of your business?
I mean… you’re just a friend. You didn’t make a lifelong commitment to him, nor him, you. You’re not even family and I don’t really see where the boundaries of their marriage need to include your opinions.
Since when does being someone’s spouse count as permission to act like a douchebag? The woman’s a giant bitch, it’s pretty much ruining a friendship the OP has had since kindergarten… this is an eminently pittable situation. What’s your beef with his beef?
Were the friend mentioned in the OP female, and the person being griped about a male that did things to seperate their spouse from their lifelong friends we’d be speculating about abuse. That is the kind of thing an abuser does, cutting off their victim from any kind of support system. Just something for you to mull over.
Maybe she’s so insecure she can’t handle the thought of him having any friends who might possibly know him in ways she doesn’t, so she flings the “gay” accusation to get her husband all for herself? It’s jealousy at work here, and the relationship is pretty twisted in on itself. Sounds to me like the husband is almost an enabler, and the wife is subtley abusive.
If the husband was any kind of friend the OP wanted, he needs to step up or step out.
If the guy accepts the woman’s attitude then maybge the OP needs to re-examine the person he considers a friend and decide if he maybe has grown into a person he doesn’t really want to be a friend of.