While I could be (and, in fact, often am) totally off-base, the inference that I get is that, due to my statement that I’m straight, the “methinks the lady doth protest too much” strikes you as mildly ironic, as you seem to think that it could be said about me.
Since when does being a friend, the most transient and happenstance of relationships, allow one to interfere with another’s marriage, a relationship generated by conscious choice that starts with a vow of fidelity and honor?
She’s a bitch? How so? Other than the gaydar thing, I haven’t read anything that makes her deserving of such a dismissal. I mean, let’s look at the charges levelled against this “bitch”
- She budgeted video games too lowly for Charger’s liking.
- She won’t let her hubby go to Hooters.
- She’s getting him to change his friends, for bad reasons and unknown reasons.
- She has an opinion about movies that differs from Charger’s - i.e., she’s a Peter Jackson fanboi.
I mean, if Charger doesn’t like her smart little comments about homosexuals, the next time he meets her and she mouths off he should be a man, look her in the eye, and say “I do not tolerate that kind of talk in my presence.” And don’t back down. Rather he’d spend his time thinking about fantasies to “get back” at this woman for the fact that, essentially, she’s come between he and an old friend.
I mean, maybe it’s just me. But my wife and daughter are #1 in my life, with a bullet. Nothing comes between us - not friends, not family, nothing. I chose Laura, she chose me, we’re a single unit - all others are just the supporting cast. The decisions I make are made with us in mind and if somebody, even a friend, even a family member, openly mocked my wife like that I would lay them out. Have, actually:
And quotes like this? Well, they’re just wrong:
It’s not Charger’s “job” to get him away from his marriage! How dare you actually advise a man to divorce his wife because of a mere difference of opinion you have with her?! I mean, WTF is wrong with you?
This wins the award for “Worst Piece of Advice, 2006”. And it’s not even March! This is like when Silence of the Lambs won all those Oscars over a year after it had been released. You ought to be proud.
Noooooo… it sounds to me as if they’re a typical married couple and that we’re dealing with second-hand news coming from an obviously biased party.
The wife has strong opinions and expects him to live by them - he has strong opinions and expects her to live by them. The only difference is that we’re not hearing from her friends. :rolleyes:
Or, looking at it from the husbands POV, maybe he’s “moved on” with his life and has a declining interest in the things that amused him when he was a kid… and if that means he’s moved on from those friends of his who just won’t “grow up”, well, c’est la vie. I’m pretty sure Charger and this guy didn’t have a state-certified ceremony swearing their undying love and faithfulness, either.
And the way this sort of “advice” has been blithely accepted and unchallenged - amazing. :smack: 
My apologies. You actually advised Charger to advise a man to divorce his wife because of a difference of opinion. The rest still stands, though.
Wow. Glad I’m not your friend. This is a guy he’s known since kindergarden. I think that actually means something, but I guess that’s entirely disposable for you.
Incidentally, most of the people I’m friends with, I’ve been friends with for a decade or more. Three of those friends have been in marriages that haven’t lasted half that long. I don’t think marriage is automatically any less “transient and happenstance” than marriage. On the average, it’s quite a bit less so, in my experience.
I’d say the “gaydar thing” by itself is more than enough.
Controlling, manipulative, and arrogant. Sounds like a class-A bitch to me.
Maybe he ought to do that, but there’s a good chance that if he did, he’d lose his friend entirely. Obviously, friendship is something that you don’t particularly value, but alot of other people do. Charger doesn’t want to risk losing his friend if it’s at all avoidable, although it doesn’t look like there’s a hell of alot he can do about it at this point.
And, of course, all marriages are exactly like your marriage, because all women are exactly like your wife.
Because some spouses are poison. Not everyone makes good romantic decisions. Ask one of my aforementioned friends, whose ex-wife lost custody of their kid (who was conceived because she lied about being infertile to trap him into marriage) after stealing from my friend, his mother, and her place of employment to support her meth habit. This was after she’d done everything in her power to sabotage every other relationship he had, including convincing him to sell his house and move across the country to get away from everyone he knew or cared about. And after the whole thing finally fell apart and he managed to shake himself free of the loathsome bitch? It was his friends who showed up to help him put his life back together.
Of course, pretty much everyone besides him saw all that coming and warned him about her, and of course, he didn’t listen. It was useless advice, obviously, but it wasn’t bad advice by any stretch. Now, it doesn’t seem that Charger’s friend’s wife is nearly that bad. But that still doesn’t mean that she’s any good for the guy, either.
Well, Jesus fucking Christ, welcome to the Pit. 99% of the stuff that’s posted here about off-board stuff, we only get one side of. You going to pop into every thread where someone complains about their boss, or a customer, or the guy who cut them off in traffic, and point out that we’re only hearing one side of the story?
And if that’s the case, then Charger’s going to have to say goodbye to this friendship, because there really is nothing he can do. Which is, in fact, pretty sad. I mean, except to you, because friendship to you is so “transient.” But most of the rest of us, I wager, understand why Charger would be angry and frustrated at that turn of events.
Only for the very easily amazed, I think.
JohnT, I’d thank you to attribute words I posted to me, if you are going to quote and argue with them. :dubious: Miller did pretty well rebuffing you, I agree with his sentiments.
Having seen these things happen to a friend of mine I think some of the complaints are valid. I would never make my wife wait a year to purchase something that cost as much as an X-Box or a few games once in a while. Granted we generally check with one another when making a semi-large purchase but we’d find a way to budget it. I also wouldn’t ever dream of telling my wife she couldn’t go to a particular restaurant with some of her friends nor would I tell her drop some of her friends unless I thought they were destructive in some way.
Bingo, I had a friend who got married and his wife ended up alienating him from most of his former friends and his family. I didn’t like her at all but I would never have dreamed of treating her poorly because that would have automatically resulted in the termination of the friendship. Eventually the friendship dissolved anyway and I realized that he was just as much to blame as she was and even though they eventually divorced our friendship never resumed.
Marc
While I agree that we can’t be the saviors of our friends, I also think that there are cases where, if possible, lifelong friends should try to endure and prepare to be a support system in the event of marital fallout. It’s the same way with friends and family of people in abusive marriages. We can’t rescue them, but we can be their support system, and help them if they decide they want to extricate themselves from the situation.
Fuck im, and then wipe off your dick with her draperies…
JohnT, you are pulling quotes from different users but attributing them to Miller (by not entering an attribution otherwise and previous quotes having been attributed to him). This is not allowed. Make sure quotes from different users are attributed correctly in the future.
Just to clarify a few things…
I was not pitting her poor gaydar (as I admitted from the start how even mine isn’t reliable). I was pitting, however, the way she treats people she thinks are gay. And that she is so controlling that she keeps her husband from spending time with the friends she deems gay. I may have shitty gaydar, but if I think you’re gay, it’s just as irrelevant as whether or not I think you prefer Pepsi over Coke.
The movie discussion was not so much about a difference in movie preferences, but how she talks down to people who differ in opinion from her. If I don’t recognize the name of her favorite director, she declares that her favorite is the “defining director of our generation.” What kind of phrasing is that, anyway? It gives the impression that someone would have to be pretty clueless to be in our generation and not know the director who “defines” us.
So, to sum up, she’s rude, bigoted, and has a tight leash around her husband’s neck which is putting a strain on my lifelong friendship with him. I’ve been caught off guard by her rudeness from time to time, but since she’s reached “pitworthy” status, I know to be on guard the next time I interact with her. Just a simple “that was rude” or “that was inappropriate” may help her realize how she is affecting the people around her.
And I partially pit my friend for letting his wife decide who he can’t be friends with (though he did stand up to her about emailing his brother).