The popular belief is that Beauty is skin-deep, and you love a person for who they are and all that great stuff that homely people tell themselves to get through the day .
I want to know all about any examples you can give of couples you have known that have included one (physically) beautiful person and one (physically) ass-ugly ogre (extreme discrepencies).
I don’t want to hear anyone arguing the principle that a hottie could love a beast. I want to hear Dopers offering examples of couples they have known.
Another criterion that MUST be met: this has to be a relationship where you believe in the love between these two people. You got a 27 year old swimsuit model coupled with an ugly old man who has millions of dollars? If you don’t believe they are truly in love then they don’t belong in this Thread.
My example: I had some friends a few years back (no longer in touch- don’t know if they’re still together): She was a 5’10" blonde with a face and body that could go on the cover of Cosmo. Great curves, long legs, when she walked into a room every guy would stop to look at her. She was also a kind and delightful person. Her boyfriend, a kind and delightful person himself, was about 5’3" with bad skin, excessive hair all over his arms, his back, growing out of his ears (his chest looked like a carpet), and a great big honking nose (It is also worth noting that she made just a little bit more money than he did).
This, however, was a couple I truly believed in. They really enjoyed being together and really made each other happy and really knew each other. Don’t know if this is significant but they had been platonic friends for about three years before becoming romantically involved. (He spent a long time watching her date a lot of really hot guys.)
No Hypotheticals
No arguing on Principle
Tell me about people you know.
Well, I’ve dated a few less-than-stunning types in my day.
I can’t think offhand that I’ve known many people I’d describe as true ogres, and only a few who possessed striking beauty. I have known a fair number of couples where one party was conventionally attractive and the other was…rather less so. In college I knew several sexy babes with boyfriends with greasy hair, pasty skin, and who were either scrawny or flabby. Some of these relationships seemed pretty happy, although at least one of these sexy-looking ladies was so unstable that her boyfriends usually realized they weren’t quite as lucky as they’d thought when she first started paying attention to them.
In the working world, two of the women at my office (including the one who is probably the best looking of the dozen women there) are dating guys that aren’t much to look at. Is it love? Well, one couple has been on-and-off, but the other is planning to get married. I don’t know the guy very well, but he seems pretty cool, considerate, and has important shared interests with his girlfriend.
I can’t say I can think offhand of any good-looking man I know who’s been involved with an unattractive woman. Among gay and lesbian couples I know, both partners usually seem to be about equally physically attractive (or unattractive, as the case may be). But I don’t attribute any significance to that, as the sample size is smaller. In general it seems to me that the majority of people are most likely to pair off with people who are roughly as attractive as themselves. This is unsurprising, as most people also tend to gravitate towards romantic partners of about their same age, similar socio-economic background, etc. Of course, there are always exceptions, and I’ve known some very happy couples where the partners were very different from each other.
If you want to suggest that your S.O. is significantly hotter than you, we’re gonna need some unbiased verification.
RAWDuke, did you truly hit every branch on the way down after falling from the ugly tree? And, do people who are not in love with your wife think she’s a hottie? Post a photo or present some eye-witness testimony.
But thanks for playing!
Well, I’m a hottie (no cite) and I have dated lots of guys that I started out thinking of as ugly. (And my mother and friends agreed.) I can get past a lot of ugly if a guy impresses me with his intelligence (that being the main thing that turns me on) and humor (that being the second.)
I’m now adding kindness to the list of must-have attributes, as I have been out with some very witty assholes.
P.S. I’m 34 and the guys I am most interested in are about twenty years my senior. To some people, maybe that makes them ugly.
My wife’s best friend in college would definitely meet your requirements.
At the hazard of my wife seeing this, her friend in college was extremely good-looking. Definitely model quality and remains so. Tall, blonde, very beautiful. Smart, too. Graduated from college, good job, the works.
She just happened to have a soul mate that she knew for years and loved deeply. Poor guy looked ROUGH, though. Skinny, pale, acne in his late twenties. Worked as a laborer on a pig farm. While my wife was in collge with this girl, she broke up with the “hunk” (my wife’s description) she was dating and went back to the soul mate and they got married.
I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t know them personally, just because it seems so unlikely. Looks must not be everything, because they are as happy as they can be and still live together in a small, rural community in North Carolina.
This is how my GF is and pretty much the same attributes my GF saw in me when we starting going out.
As an asian guy I’m pretty low on the “hotness” factor for white females (for which I have a huge fetish-like attraction for). I’ve been close friends with lots of hot (white) women but non of them panned out for any sort of relationship (although I admit I didn’t really try to make any serious moves on them).
Then came my GF. I always treated her as “unattainable” and knew her while she dated spanish guys (typical spanish-types, tall, dark, and insanely jealous).
She said she first liked me for my brains. The physical part came in second (I’m not disfigured or anything, just nothing special).
I used to have pics online but I’m too lazy to maintain a web site
Hoo, boy. The last time someone said such a thing here, a whole lot of people objected. I won’t contest that point though, as I think it’s generally true, despite the protestations of some who do think that Asian guys are hot.
I could cite my best friend. She’s gone out with some guys that would make your hair stand up… then she married a guy who looked like Legolas from the movies. He got into drugs, she left him and has been with a guy who definately isn’t eye candy for the last 5 years.
If some white women like asians, hey that’s nice. But as a typical short asian (I’m the tallest in my immediate family at 5’6") I don’t get the type of attention most “white” guys get. Of course I’m also not attacted to asian females…at all, so that hurts the potental pool of women I (used) to look at.
But I don’t want to hi jack this thread (or get sucked into another asian “hotness” debate).
I know such a couple. They’ve been married something like 20 years. He is model-type handsome. His parents are distinguished elderly good looking. The kids are poster-child cute. The wife is, and I hate to say it, really, really unattrractive. She has a horse face, bad skin, bad teeth, bad hair, and no particular physical assets. One look and you can tell that she was never any better looking than she is today.
A few years ago I worked with a tall, long-legged, full-breasted, tawny-skinned, lustrous-haired young woman who must have scoured the bottoms of discarded barrels looking for her boyfriends. For over a year she dated a guy who was short, pockmarked, had greasy hair, resembled a sickly Adolph Hitler, chain-smoked, was always hunched over, and spoke in a barely audible mumble. They appeared to be very much in love.
I lost track of her, and a few years later she was married to a different guy. He had very deep pockmarks all over his face and neck. If you could get past that, which I can’t, he wasn’t all that bad looking.
I heard that they got divorced, and I really wonder what what she’s dating now.
My boss has a decidedly middle aged dowdy matron look going for her. However, her husband is a defnite hottie. She doesn’t exactly have a sparkling personality (though maybe she’s better outside work), so I have no idea how that relationship works. But it does. He’s devoted to her.
I can’t find it now, but I just read about a new study yesterday saying that people become more attractive or less attractive to others based on their personalities. I’ve always known this and was surprised to find that it was news. I thought it was common knowledge.
.
