It’s kinda common to see a post here (responding to something funny) that says “great post, but now I have to clean up my computer screen”
or: “that was funny!!!–but I just spilt coffee on myself, and you’d better come here right now and clean it up”
My question is: why does this happen so often at straighdope.com , but not in real life?
I’ve had a lot of fun times with friends who tell funny stories, but I’ve never spit out a drink over it. Am I just a poor guy who never gets a good laugh?
Doesn’t happen with me, either. Closest in RL is when someone cracks a ha-ha, and I have to hold the sip of coffee in my mouth for a second, then swallow.
Apart from that – nada.
Just not a beverage spitter, I guess. 
A good friend of mine did a literal spit take into my face at lunch the other day. Thank god he was only drinking water.
I do this here and in real life. My husband has started sitting next to me rather than across from me.
Have I ever? Yes … but the circumstances are quite rare. Something not only has to be very funny, but also completely unexpected, AND I happen to be drinking something at the time. Even then I try like the dickens to keep it in; which is, of course, what causes the famous “spit take” to be spectacular if I fail …
I’ve never spit on my computer screen or keyboard - but I have peed my pants…
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve peed on the monitor before. Don’t much think my friends would appreciate that.
“… and the bartender said not tonight.” wooooOOOOAAHHH lieu, careful there buddy.
I lost some coffee once. I’m just about certain this won’t be funny our of context but it was in the heat of the “a” thread (that monster thread of alphabetical sequential postings) I was just about to post something tortured for the letter “D” when someone else posted:
D, I always get D. 
It’s still my favorite post to date. Blew the caffeine right out of my nose.
I never drink anything while reading the SDMB or any other web site. Well, I mean, sometimes I do have a drink with me, but I don’t usually sip and read simultaneously. Ergo, I’ve never been driven to laughter that has also caused me to expel my beverage so as to splatter its contents across the monitor or on the keyboard.
There have been a few times when someone has said something funny to me while in the middle of a drink, and there have also been times where I’ve done it in a movie theater, where something funny happens while I’m sipping away at my 44 oz Bladder Buster™ cup.
No spit, but at one time I had just taken a sip of hot tea when a post made me laugh. That gave me a few very uncomfortable moments, what with the hot liquid trying to leave the confines of my mouth. Maybe spitting would have been better, but I don’t like cleaning up.
I have often wondered the same thing, but I have always just assumed that there was some poetic license and that it was just a way of saying the poster was very amused.
I’ve done it once. I don’t feel like searching for it, but it was the thread “What Threads Are Most Likely To Get Closed?” This was around the time that high school hazing incident was all over the news. Somebody posted:
“Wanna play powderpuff football? I will dump shit on your head beotch”
I can’t type it without really cracking up.
I came damn close one sleepy, Sunday mornign while drinking my coffee. I was reading a General Question and all of a sudden it turned into one of those pun threads that was out of control.
Had to clamp my hand over my mouth to try to keep my coffee in my mouth.