Ever pass on someone hot for a completely petty reason?

[Penfeather]

Usually the hot ones charge a whole lot more for me to piss on them. Oh, you said * pass* on them. In that case, I got nuttin’.

[Honey]

@Green_Bean

So there I was, sitting by the deathbed of my dear Great Uncle Earl. He reached out and took my hand, and I was surprised by the strength in his bony fingers. He looked up at me with milky eyes, and said, “John, I’m nearing the end. Could you do one last thing for me?” I stifled a sob and said “Anything.” He said “I just want one last Keystone Light tall boy.” I nodded and said “Anything for you, Uncle Earl.”

I turned to find Uncle Earl’s best friend Boomer standing in the doorway. They’d been like brothers since they were both knee-high to a grasshopper. As I passed, he stepped out with me and said, “John, I know you’re a master craft brewer, but why don’t you pick up a couple 6-packs of Keystone Light as well, and we’ll all have a toast in his honor.”

When I got to the gas station, I had to take a moment in the truck to compose myself. Blinking back the tears, I picked up a 12 pack and that one tall boy of Uncle Earl’s favorite beer, and got on line.

I got the feeling that someone was looking at me, and through the haze of my sorrow, I saw the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen smiling at me. She was a ray of sunshine on the bleak landscape of my grief. I was about to say hello, when she suddenly looked away and then pointedly busied herself doing something on her iPhone.

I stifled another sob and paid for my beloved Great Uncle Earl’s very last beer.

Ok ok. Lesson learned.

[Honey]

@Finagle

Or maybe once a week, he stops by his dear old mother’s grave, then picks up some Keystone Light (including one cold one), smuggles it into his old man at the nursing home where they reminisce about old times before he has to hop back into his private jet and fly back to Nashville for another recording session before heading back to his lonely penthouse suite where he sits sipping 50 year old scotch and thinking wistfully of the lady who almost talked to him back at the convenience store.

This, would be just my luck.

[Rachellelogram]

@MrDurden

Good job, you saved this guy from having to interact with someone so petty.

Kissing someone with beer breath is bad enough. Anyone who puts up with Keystone breath is an true hero.

[Honey]

@Robot_Arm

I can honestly say “no”.

You are obviously a much better person than I am.

[Ambivalid]

@Honey

You are obviously a much better person than I am.

You obviously aren’t familiar with RO’s schtick. He likes to go around to threads and gratuitously mope (sometimes rather discreetly and/or indirectly) about the fact that he’s a virgin and he can’t get a woman to save his life. He’s just using this thread as an excuse to (once again) post about how he has never been with a woman. It gets rather tiresome and boring.

[Honey]

@Ambivalid

You obviously aren’t familiar with RO’s schtick. He likes to go around to threads and gratuitously mope (sometimes rather discreetly and/or indirectly) about the fact that he’s a virgin and he can’t get a woman to save his life. He’s just using this thread as an excuse to (once again) post about how he has never been with a woman. It gets rather tiresome and boring.

Oh, I get it. And I was being sarcastic.

[madmonk28]

When I was single, I didn’t sleep with some women because they turned me down. I thought that they were being petty and not thinking of the greater good.

[pancakes3]

Um, I pass on women almost exclusively based on shallow/petty reasons. Unattractive. Too much makeup. Not enough makeup. Dresses inappropriately. Posture/body language. Smell (perfume, cigarettes, B.O.). Too sloppy drunk. Not sloppy drunk enough. All utterly and entirely subjective to my whims at the moment.

[Robot_Arm]

@Honey

Oh, I get it. And I was being sarcastic.

So was I, at least partially. And it’s not moping, just contrariness.

[Intergalactic_Gladiator]

I don’t think this counts as petty necessarily, but I never considered one gal when I was in college because I thought she was way out of my league. I worked one semester as a radio lab monitor and was chatting with her after she was using it and along the way she confessed that she was mildly disappointed that I never asked her out and she was engaged now.

I also stopped dating someone once because she was flippin’ insane. Does that count?

[Learjeff]

Because they said “Buzz off, twerp.” That’s petty of me, isn’t it?

[Learjeff]

@Skara_Brae

I’m not sure this is petty, but I immediately decided it was going nowhere with one guy when he declared, “I don’t read for pleasure.”

Which is fine for him and all, but I probably spend more on books in a month than I spend on food, so we just couldn’t be compatible.

Marry me! (Oh wait. I’m already married. Never mind!)

@Intergalactic_Gladiator

I don’t think this counts as petty necessarily, but I never considered one gal when I was in college because I thought she was way out of my league. I worked one semester as a radio lab monitor and was chatting with her after she was using it and along the way she confessed that she was mildly disappointed that I never asked her out and she was engaged now.

That’s not petty, just tragic.

[FordTaurusSHO94]

I’m one of those guys who thinks women only go into a restroom to look in the mirror. No toilets. Why would a woman need one of those? They don’t do that kind of stuff.

Anyways, there was a girl that I worked with in a restaurant that was attractive and had a thing for me. What always turned me off was that on her break, she would eat a large meal, gripe about a stomach ache, spend 10-15 minutes in the restroom, then come back talking about how much better she felt. This wasn’t a once in awhile thing, it was every shift that we worked together.

[Chimera]

Back when my now ex-wife was making it known she was interested in me, so was another woman. She had an absolutely incredible body.

But she had recently broken up with the cousin of my best friend after more than 15 years of being together. Because she was having an affair with a married man. Oh, and she let me know that would be continuing while we were together.

Nope.

Ok, maybe that really isn’t a petty reason.

[Honey]

@FordTaurusSHO94

I’m one of those guys who thinks women only go into a restroom to look in the mirror. No toilets. Why would a woman need one of those? They don’t do that kind of stuff.

Anyways, there was a girl that I worked with in a restaurant that was attractive and had a thing for me. What always turned me off was that on her break, she would eat a large meal, gripe about a stomach ache, spend 10-15 minutes in the restroom, then come back talking about how much better she felt. This wasn’t a once in awhile thing, it was every shift that we worked together.

I completely understand this. A little mystery is a good thing.

[Duke_of_York]

@VinylTurnip

Countless times. One had a laugh like Elmer Fudd, one I suspected of having a boob job (turns out I was mistaken), one was a masseuse who refused to give me a massage, one had been dumped by my slovenly neighbor whom I can’t stand, one had masculine-looking hands… I could go on and on. I should probably write all of them down; it’d make a good book or something.

I can’t believe that no one seemed to have picked up that these were from episodes of Sienfeld.

[zoid]

What makes you think no one picked up on it?

[slowlearner]

A young woman who looked like young Suzanne Sommers and thought London was in Paris because travel posters say London/Paris. Yeah, blonde…

[River_Hippie]

The most attractive woman I ever had a realistic shot at. She was very pretty, elegant, had a sexy, musical voice and seemed to really like me.

And I passed because… she was older than me. I was 28 and she was maybe 35-40. Ridiculous to me now but at the time it bothered me.

Still kicking myself!