Every bachelor party needs a dwarf.

[ElvisL1ves]

How The Other Half Lives story:

Even by Wall Street’s over-the-top standards, the March 2003 bachelor party for Thomas Bruderman, a onetime star trader for Fidelity Investments, was an event to remember.
The festivities began with a trip by private jet from Boston to a small airport outside New York City. There, the revelers picked up some Wall Street traders and at least two women who investigators suspect may have been paid for their attendance, say people familiar with the matter. The partygoers – including the groom-to-be, who was getting ready to marry the daughter of former Tyco International Ltd. boss L. Dennis Kozlowski – then continued to trendy South Beach in Miami. The fun included a stay at the ritzy Delano Hotel for some, a yacht cruise and entertainment by at least one dwarf hired for the occasion.

"Some people are just into lavish dwarf entertainment," says the 4-foot-2 Danny Black, a part-owner in Shortdwarf.com, an outfit that rents dwarfs for parties starting at $149 an hour. Mr. Black says he spent part of the weekend on the yacht and worked as a waiter on the Friday night at a high-end Miami eatery alongside what he called “regular size” people. “A good time was had by all,” he said, declining to provide further details.

Am I the only one who suspects he wore a Velcro suit with handles on it?

But what really made this a memorable party is that it is now a focus of an investigation into possibly improper gratuities from Wall Street trading firms eager to get Fidelity’s business.

Speak for yourself, Mr. Wire Service Reporter.

[butler1850]

Dang,

I knew we were missing something from the bachelor party I went to over the weekend!

A dwarf stripper would have made it perfect!

-Butler
<the entire post, with the exception of the bachelor party actually happening, is in jest!>

[CalMeacham]

The thread title scans perfectly with the song “Everybody Ought to Have a Maid” from a Funny Thing Happened on the WAy to the Forum.
and now I can’t get that out of my head.

[Eve]

@CalMeacham

The thread title scans perfectly with the song “Everybody Ought to Have a Maid” from a Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.

I take that as a challenge.

Every bachelor party needs a dwarf
Every bachelor party needs a teeny guy,
A serving you martini guy
To putter around the house.

Every bachelor party needs a dwarf
A waiter you can hire who is not too tall
Who won’t get KO’d in a brawl,
Who’s quieter than a mouse.

Oh, oh, wouldn’t he be delicious,
Tidying up the dishes,
Neat as a pin.
Oh, oh, wouldn’t he be delightful,
Serving you
A Mickey Finn!

[CalMeacham]

Thank you, Eve. My mind wouldn’t construct any verses for that.

[LeeshaJoy]

Eve, you just made my week, and it’s only Monday.

[ultrafilter]

Didn’t Soft Cell sing about this?

[ElvisL1ves]

Eve, you are my heroine.

[cabdude]

@ultrafilter

Didn’t Soft Cell sing about this?

Tainted Dwarf?

[One_And_Only_Wanderers]

@cabdude

Tainted Dwarf?

Stunted Love

[Eleusis]

Shit, we pay $120/hour for 4’9".

I assume they include an hour of dwarf tossing? :dubious:

[Eleusis]

Of course I blow the wad… read that as 3’9", and I’m really a nice guy who has several dwarf friends

[cabdude]

@Eleusis

Shit, we pay $120/hour for 4’9".

I assume they include an hour of dwarf tossing? :dubious:

Yeah, but not the type of tossing you think :eek: