AT-I take it all back, you seem like a nice young man who just said some things he didn’t mean. Best of luck finding a girl you “click with”. You need some better relationship role-models, that’s all. If you’d have said you were 19, most of the nastiness could have been avoided.
I apologise for taking what you said at face value, and being so mean- next time, rant in the pit and add some smilies and more swearwords! Malacandra, I’m one of those people who has a big timer that goes Dindingding if I haven’t had any sex for about 6 weeks. When I was single, I used pretty much that approach (or the alternative: dance first, ask names later), every six weeks for my first year at uni, and it worked. Every time.
Ok, I had 3 things going for me.
I’m a girl
I made the first move
I picked my target very carefully
But yes, it worked (or at least it worked when I did it, and I’m no supermodel).
Here’s the thing: When you finally do find someone you can really relate to, you’ll find that going to the movies and talking about stupid shit over meals is the funnest stuff you’ll ever do. You’ll find that most women are not, in fact, vapid and shallow, but have some truly fascinating insights. No, they may not truly reflect your own personality exactly, but may be a perfect compliment to yours. You’ll find that sex is fun, but it’s one of a river of fun things you can do with a girl. Learn to love the stupid and vapid stuff. It can be a blast.
As much as I flirt with the ladies on this board (who can hardly be called stupid and vapid, with a few notable exceptions), I have to say that my girlfriend is my bestest friend. If we go 6 months without having sex (rare), it’s because we’re too busy having fun doing other stuff. And talking about stupid shit over meals tops the list. Who the fuck wants to spend mealtimes debating the finer points of Proust?
I was wondering this myself. Does this ever get a guy anything other than a slap in the face? It’s never worked for me.
The best people to give advice on one night stands are young attractive women. When asked about how to go about getting laid, the advice is always to walk into a bar and shout out “I need hot monkey sex right now!” When asked if that really works, the young attractive woman will always declare “Sure, I do it all the time.”
Just a note - my dad is now in a committed relationship, has been for almost a year, and is likely to get engaged. So his Lothario days are probably over for now.
You don’t know you’re born. And yes, in the student age group, you don’t need to be a supermodel for a vagina to be pretty much a guarantee of sex if you ask nicely. Trust me, it’s a leetle different on the other side of the gender divide… leastways, I always found it so. I daresay some men could get away with it, but they’re probably the ones who least need to.
Bordelond: thanks, but I’m short with a funny looking face, so it evens out!
I am probably one of those girls who would have been quite happy to say yes if a decent looking bloke asked me nicely, but they seldom did…which is why I took the initiative!
All in all, it’s probably a lot safer for the men of Dublin that I’m no longer on the market.
Underlining mine, and there’s the rub. Everyone knows that the direct approach only works if the girl fancies you anyway. Never mind about asking a complete stranger to shag, I still have unfond memories of a girl at a party backing away from me in apparent terror when I was only trying to make conversation.
Fortunately, someone was on hand to make me leave her alone.
Catch their eye
Look away
Look back
Smile
If they smile back, tilt your head and raise your eyebrows in a “come over here gesture”.
They either do one of 3 things.
Shake their head violently, in which case you give up and move on.
Shake their head slowly and make “no, you come over her” gestures, in which case you can either go over there immediately, or keep up this game until one of you gets bored and moves.
Nod and comes over to you.
This way you already know they fancy you and want to talk to you, even before you’ve said anything. Less humiliating that walking up to someone randomly and trying to chat them up unsucessfully, no?
Unless I’m the only one that works for too. :smack:
But y’see, irishgirl, so far as 99.9% of my experience runs, a positive come-on in this situation would be no more than a willingness to engage in social intercourse, and saying, “Hi. My name’s Dave[sup]*[/sup]. Shall we get a bottle of what you’re drinking and go fuck?” would earn me a free sample of whatever she was drinking, minus the glass. So we’re no nearer the NSA-sex-for-asking-nicely, or at any rate not significantly - which was supposed to be the point of the exercise.
