Ahh, irishgirl, you take me back to my student nurse days…Jimmy’s Jigger, one block from the hospital… across the state line.
I’m about to burst into a chorus Those were the Days Those were the days, my friend, We thought they’s never end…la la la
Good thinking. Use a fake name, just in case there’s a paternity suit.
Women’s and men’s experiences with this kind of thing are almost invariably totally different. It’s a fun read, but very few guys can initiate contact and pull it off like irishgirl is describing.
It’s ‘insincere and false’ because you don’t agree with it? That’s a load of crap. She probably means it, what you think of the overture has nothing to do with it being sincere. Crist, if you say, “I’d like a pizza” and she says, “I’d rather we get chinese” she isn’t be insincere, she just wants chinese and not pizza. If you don’t agree than so be it. Women aren’t put on the world for you Argent Towers. It’s not her fault that they don’t end up friends, but rather the guy who ends the relationship.
She may be sincere, but that’s not necessarily important.
The women in this thread would be likely to admit that they don’t expect (or have learned not to expect) much of a return on a “let’s be friends” proposal to a would-be male suitor. Naturally, there are exceptions.
Huh. The only theory I can draw from AT’s story about his dad is that narcissistic whining is apparantly hereditary.
Those two situations are so totally not analogous that I don’t even know where to begin.
Strange, really. As a means of gently turning someone down, “let’s just be friends” is about as nice as it gets; as a breakup line they’re about the four most evil words it’s possible to utter.
Well, after “yippee kai yay, motherfucker,” I guess.
After reading your classy reply, AT, I can sympathize. If I were gay, I’d never get laid. I can’t stand most girls our age (I’m 22) either.
Now, I have a few girlfriends, but that is mostly because I’ve found them through activities I’m involved in (dancing, book clubs, etc). For the most part, that lets us skip the vapid small talk. We go straight to the bonding over shared interests and fill in the details later.
And now for the criticism: if you automatically reject every girl who says that she wants a friendship, and refuse to do things that may lead to a friendship (like actually talking to girls), you really shouldn’t complain that you never develop friendships with girls.
Also, if you’re in a residence hall that is 50% gay, you should have plenty of girls around. Watch and listen to the way that the gay guys treat them. You don’t have to go full-on metrosexual, but pick some things that you think you could do (like notice what they are wearing) and do them.
It may not get you laid right away, but you’ll learn a lot more about women, and maybe even discover that there are some decent ones out there, after all. And there is nothing most women like more than to set their single friends up with each other 
The arrangement you are looking for is known as “fuck buddies” or “Friends with Benefits.” Or even, dare I say it, a “booty call.”
There’s nothing wrong with this kind of relationship. It can be a lot of fun for all concerned as long as there is mutual respect. Girls have itches they need scratched too. And not to get on your ass with the Hobbesian Nominalism, but the fact that we have words for these things, implies that they exist, even if you’ve never experienced them. However, I think you’ll find there are precious few 19 year old girls who are comfortable with these arrangements.
Young women aren’t very sure of themselves and are often scared to be labeled a “slut” and “getting a reputation” even if they do desire this kind of arrangement. They might be ashamed to not be interested in the sex+love equation that is pushed at them from every direction. As women get older they will (theoretically) grow into a greater sense of themselves and become, in some cases, quite comfortable with no-strings attached sex that isn’t exploitative to anyone.
Plus everything ** SusanStoHelit** said.
PS - I am a woman.
Ha ha, I already do this. In fact, it’s one of the good things I’ve learned from my father. I’ve learned that doing this in college gets you two things - one, a subconscious air of superiority because everyone else is dressed like a schlub, and two, lots of compliments from gay men.
I’ve gotten way more random compliments on my clothing from other guys than from girls.
Basically I don’t think anyone in college gives a shit what a guy wears. Everyone just rolls out of bed and throws on whatever clothes are clean. I think high school guys are better dressed than college guys.
AT, I think she meant for you to compliment what the girls are wearing.
Then why the comment about being “metrosexual?”
Oh, I need to say something else too. I’ve been slagging off on my dad a lot here and now I feel guilty about it. He is a good man and this thread here is only giving you a one-sided, and very negative, picture of him. I really think he is a decent person, and I also respect and admire him more than anyone else…he and I are extremely close.
Just like I said that it was unfair to insult me personally, without knowing me, and only seeing a bad picture of me from my OP, it’s the same way about my dad. If you all knew him you’d really like him. (And he’s in a long-term relationship now, so he won’t try to seduce you, if you’re a girl. I think.)
Unicorn.
Bingo. Metrosexual includes being aware of clothing in general, his and hers.
Gezhundeit.
As someone who has his own problems relating to women, I find this thread (and the one which inspired it) interesting reading. I can emphasize with AT, although my problems are not the same as his. I have no advice to offer.
As an aside, I’ve also heard the phrase “Naked friends.”
Coworker: John went with me to visit my parents.
Me: Is he your boyfriend?
Coworker: We’re…naked friends.