Sorry, man. At least there’s still cheap chocolate afterwards. 
Wow, that’s a terrible ad. If it was on TV it would probably have Kevin James in it. I love the doublethink, too: it’s a cheap and easy gift, but it’s thoughtful!
Nah, you’re getting it wrong. It should start like this:
This works better for two reasons. First, as noted, chocolate gets a lot cheaper the day after Valentine’s Day. Second, Valentine’s Day this year is a Thursday. This means it’s easier to have twice as much sex the day after because neither of you has to get uo for work on Saturday. Hypothetical boyfriend may, of course, get up for other things!
Once I find a guy I like I tend to hold onto him for a long time. It is the finding a guy I like that also likes me back that is the hard part.
Nah, you’re getting it wrong. It should start like this:
This works better for two reasons. First, as noted, chocolate gets a lot cheaper the day after Valentine’s Day. Second, Valentine’s Day this year is a Thursday. This means it’s easier to have twice as much sex the day after because neither of you has to get uo for work on Saturday. Hypothetical boyfriend may, of course, get up for other things!
I can’t stand the silly holiday either, but I do like chocolate on sale.
You know, I don’t run across your posts very often, but I’ve decided I like you. 
As to the OP, I’m with you all that way. That is precisely why we don’t celebrate. But if we did, I’d be rather fond of pbbth’s pizza-sex-Simpson’s combo.
No, this is how the day AFTER Valentines day should go. I see no reason not to stretch it out into a 3 or 4 day holiday if it is done right. 
Heckyeah! Tires are expensive, and who the heck wants to go through the hassle of buying them and having them put on?
My husband will probably get cards, his favorite meal, and Valentine’s sex whether he remembers to get me anything or not.
So, where were you back when I was single?
(I know, I know – you weren’t even born then)
I think I love you. Here: have some chocolate .
Slight nitpick, it was sex-pizza-sex-Simpsons. I must say I rather like that concept too, I’ll mention it to the SO.
…but the whole thing was triggered by chocolate.
I may have to get me some of that so I can get me some of that. Seems to be currency of the realm, so to speak.
Can I substitute Futurama for Simpsons, though?
I suppose you could substitute Futurama for The Simpsons if necessary. I cannot be held responsible for anything that happens if you deviate from my Valentine’s Day agenda though, so choose your show wisely. 
My wife would be pissed off if I got her anything for Valentine’s. In fact, as a direct response to the superficiality that is Valentine’s Day (and continuing to gain my everlasting appreciation), she’s insistent upon celebrating Steak and BJ Day.
Not being at work like Slithy Tove, I googled for the link. And now we know that it’s got its own domain name!
Well some girls like getting their carpet cleaned.
I am getting tag-teamed by a couple of women I work with. The girlfriend and I originally were going to go to Mongolian Barbeque for Valentine’s day, but we work different shifts, so we’ll instead go on the Saturday following. She also prefers IHOP, so we’re going to go there. We don’t do presents, and she’s not into being high maintenance, and I’m not into celebrating a holiday on one day of the year. Give gifts all year. nice nice and thoughtful all the time.
So we’re doing nothing on Valentine’s day, but we’re eating out on the Saturday following it. We’re going to IHOP.
My coworkers say I’ll be in the doghouse big time, but she says that because they’re pushing to get her flowers and something gushy and romantic, she almost wants to do nothing at all.
She’s great, I tell ya. Great.
Edited to add: This thread will start the cultivation of some SERIOUS Doper crushes, though.
He is so going to be in the doghouse.
I first (mis)understood you to mean that the girls chew up and vomit the chocolate, then wrap it up in lace and ribbons.
I was gonna say, “Pix or it didn’t happen,” but the damage is done.
Here is a bad Valentines story.
A few years back, I decided that what the heck, I would give a rose to my female coworkers on St. Valentines day. I counted up the women who worked on my building, bought that many roses, brought the to work, and put them in a vase. I bought an assortment of colors. I had about twenty percent more roses than women, just in case.
Pause for hollow laughter.
Yeah, some ladies were pleased, and said thank you. Others whined that they wanted one of each color. Still others just tried to take as many as they wanted, and got all hurt when I told them no. I had to guard the damned flowers all day. Women from every building on the facility came and wanted their roses too. The next day I get whining and moaning from everyone who was off that day.
The next year, I was approached by two of the men on the building to see if I was doing that “Rose thing” again. Fruitless negotations to get someone else to take over, and I agreed, they pitched in. I made a sign saying “For the ladies of The _________ Building, Happy Valentines Day, please take a rose.” If there are any left, please leave them here for others to enjoy. We had about a hundred percent overstock for all three shifts, every woman who worked on the building.
I work evenings. I came in at 4:00 AM, before the night shift leaves, and set up a table in the lobby. The roses were gone by 9. The bitching wasn’t over for a week.
The last two years everyone has been asking me, “are you giving out roses?”
No.
Tris