I am feeling a bit mischievous this morning and decided to wear some clothing that I really like but have hitherto avoided wearing at work. These articles of clothing date from college fencing and are not actually shocking but they do contrast a bit with peoples’ likely perception of me. Everywhere I go my initial reputation seems to be one of sweetness and light. I suppose this is understandable given that I look about 16, don’t wear make-up, have rosy apple cheeks, don’t smoke and seldom drink but it gets a little tiresome. I fully expect to have several iterations of the following conversations during the day.
Ex. 1
Them: Why is there a bat on your sweatshirt?
Me: It’s a succubus. The symbol of my college fencing team. The team name is on the back, ‘Hell’s Belles’.
Them: What’s a succubus?
Me: It’s a kind of female demon. They were supposed to drain men’s’ energy by coming to them in the night. I heard somewhere that they’re also supposed to have teeth in interesting places.
Them: Oh.
(At this point if my interlocutor is male he will feel an inexplicable need to cross his legs.)
Ex. 2
Them: What does it say on your t-shirt?
Me: The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his chest. See, it’s a picture of cupid holding a sword with a heart skewered on it.
Them: Oh.
::walks off whistling::
So I’m going to have fun at work today. How ‘bout y’all?
::evil grin::
