Now and then, on this board, I’ve seen threads like “What would you do after the apocalypse”, “What would you do if you were a evil overlord”, etc. As can be expected, unbridled pillaging and conquest were big favorites.
Now, compiling execution lists is fine and good, but what’s the point of ruling the world if all that looks different is a few smoldering craters, and your personal banner flapping from the flagpoles? What ARTISTIC projects would you prefer to sponsor? Bronze statues of yourself, 50 stories high, raising an armored fist in defiance to the heavens? Your name, written in your handwriting, burned into the face of the moon? Assuming you were the Unquestioned Lord and Master of the Earth, and wanted to explore your artistic side, (Or just leave your mark on the world’s cities like you’d brand cattle) What would YOU do?
I would make the universe’s largest dildo. It would project from the center of the Eurasian continent, reach 2,000,000 miles high, etched with the lyrics to Pink Elephants on Parade in 100-mile-high letters, and composed of pure neutronium. Then I would attach engines large enough to move the planet to the center of the galaxy, and use the dildo to fuck the black hole there.
Well, I was going to say that I would commission a statue of myself for the entrance to the Pike Place Market, but after reading SPOOFE’s input, it seems kind of, um…
I suggest that, although this thread is very short anyway, that SPOOFE be awarded the most impressive thread kill of the month. I mean, look at that. No one can touch him, and the posts stop. Just some blubbering in his greatness.
I must say that Spoofe proves he has Evil Over-lordship qualifications with such a grand plan. It does not mean the thread must end; or that there are not other interesting avenues of artistic expression to explore. I also don’t believe the OP was alluding to a contest, just what other ideas may be. Personally, I am partial to the idea an official seal, with my likeness of course, that must be present on an every single this made. Blankets, jewelry, product labels, knifes, forks, microchips, buildings, space ships, etc… It might even be fun to create one on the surface of the earth that is visible from space.
Quite right, if no one minds my saying so. Though not to discount Spoofe’s amazingly grandiose plan*, I’d still like to see what everyone else would do.
Ranchoth
*By the way, Spoofe…I’m guessing you watch the movie “Heavy Metal” a lot, right?
After ousting SPOOFE in his thousand-year reign as Dark Overlord, I would have the dildo relocated to the Gulf of Mexico, commission a second Earth to be constructed and attached to the formerly dildo-covered Eurasian continent (can it get any worse for them?) so we’d at least look anatomically correct while bumpin’ uglies with 'ol Milky Way. Oh yeah, I’d also fill in those etched lyrics and paint the entire dildo to look like a Christmas tree, complete with strings of popcorn and blinking lights. I’d want to haul in a few small stars to shed some light on the whole affair. Maybe some pulsars to get that disco effect. Of course I’d have to build an ultra high-tech resort located atop a 10,000 mile high tower at the North Pole so I could get a “man’s eye view” whenever I got bored toying with my more down-to-Earth pleasure-slaves.
I would require mandatory plastic surgery so that everyone would look like Raquel Welch. Of course, that would only be a stop-gap until my genetics program got into gear…
