Well done, inoci. Some losses are to be expected on such a mission. I recommend dividing your forces–take half your fleet and position it off Greenland and prepare to use it to block shipping between America and Europe. Oldscratch will take command of the other half; his Berg Collective will take up station in a secret location from which it can be maneuvered to blockade Japan. I know this will take considerable time, but this is no low-budget SF movie (no matter what the plot devices look like)–we have time for preparation.
Splendid! There’s just some ritual… hazing you must undergo first. Here, put on this blindfold and do as I say until the ceremony is over.
You guys are in Antarctica now?
All this time I’ve been focusing on France.
Sorry about the misplaced modifier dogsbody, I won’t let it happen again.
:tosses tennis ball:
:dogsbody takes off on a dead sprint:
Sorry to disappoint you, hon, but I’m human, not canine. Look up dogsbody, willya? geez. Tennis balls hold no fascination for me.
<stumbles in clutching head>
Sorry, guys, spent the past evening bar hopping. Hey, even us evil villains need to unwind…I see that we’ve begun the, uh, hazing of spongehead here. I do hope that you’ve left enough for me.
So, are we still set to attack France? Or did we decide on a new target? Personally, I don’t think an iceberg armada would make it past the equator.
Arkon has already seized all shipping on the high seas! Get with the program! If you insist on hanging around, pretending to be the big villain on campus, at least do something useful. Recruit an army of mercenaries and take over Panama. Rule it with an iron fist; it is key to our long range strategy, and there can be no foul-ups. Let us know when you can begin shipping bananas north to Hoboken.
And stay out of my way. I’m trying to destroy France, here!
I’m not an evil villian but destorying France can’t be a bad thing. Need any help?
Liar.
Just so you guys know, your banana scheme will in no way affect me. I haven’t eaten a banana in roughly nine years. Bet you feel pretty dumb now, huh?
I’ll be the famous scientist you kidnap and force to make the secret formula. I am intelligent and passive and don’t mind being killed when you no longer need me or living in fear when the hero saves me.
you know, at first i was sad when this thread died.
then i was happy, because it got boring.
but maybe its time for us to make our return…
snort Oh lord…
They’reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
i just love that out of thousands of threads, this guy chooses this one to bring back with his first post.
such is the power of evil.
now where were we? anyone? should we just start from scratch?
YALL ARE INSANE!
You have ALL got it wrong!!
I’M going to take over the world! I make my plans every night. I’m a laboratory mouse, my genes have been spliced, and I have a dorky sidekick. SO THERE!!!
I am the Supreme Anarch! I rule my subjects with an iron hand, my will instantly enforced by my army of The Ten Thousand Individualists, all marching in lockstep! No sparrow falls but that it was my will! No one lives or dies save by my hand! All that is good flows from my right hand and all that is evil flows from my left. All lesser Overlords exist at my sufferance, and will all suffer the torments of the damned when at last I seize control of the universe and rule forever! They will cry out in misery, and there will be much gnashing of teeth and cries of despair.
Note to would-be Heroes bent on overthrowing me: I am quite partial to hot asian babes and could be easily distracted were half a dozen or so sent to…distract me.
Oh Joy.
World domination.
Count me in.
My powers…
I have the ability to make retail clerks disappear.
I can turn one pound of beans into 100 cubic meters of methane.
I make a mean cheese sauce.
Am I in?
P.S.
I am helping my 12 y.o. son with his own website. (only one page so far) Please excuse the publicity seeking. http://www.geocities.com/assistant_uwc
Oh Joy.
World domination.
Count me in.
My powers…
I have the ability to make retail clerks disappear.
I can turn one pound of beans into 100 cubic meters of methane.
I make a mean cheese sauce.
Am I in?
P.S.
I am helping my 12 y.o. stepson with his own website. (only one page so far) Please excuse the publicity seeking. http://www.geocities.com/assistant_uwc
Well well…I haven been reading this for some time now and am deeply disturbed by all of it.
No fear gentle citizens, you shall be saved from the EVO by none other than The Nameless Avengers! (Or NA for short, wich is also Non-Applicable.)
Our ranks include the disguise skills of Hat-Man, the irrepresible wit and good-hearted nature of Leatherman, the always law-abiding driver Speed Limit-Boy, the deadly diseases of The Magic Ho, the superpowers of Super Ross (though he may not be a member, unsure) and me, the battlefield commander: Captain Sarcasm! (now you shall witness a sampling of my powers, my NA friends will soon be here to destroy you as well.)
(sarcastically)Oh yeah, destroy France, that’s REAL intelligent! Oh no, the Vatican is evil, were doomed, especially since it was SO good before you came along!
Ha! Take that!
We will soon arrive at your secret base, unfortunalty Speed Limit-Boy won’t go faster than gthe speedlimit, damn!
ah yes sighn me up I have had evil genius persuits since I was but a lad I remember growing an onion in a vat and watering it with nutritius toxins from the local river and watching it grow arms and legs and eagerly watching it terrorize the local countryside. ah those where the days but nowadays with the “law” and civility and all it makes it hard for a good old supervillain to really terrorize the countryside poor old hooks will have to find a new job as I have gone bankrupt my last penny spent on raising the dead into evil minnions it kind of burt my bubble when they lit fire to my lab and all but thats okay I still work on my secret projects in my new apartment working for wendys its not all that bad I mean hey im a mad scientist who knew it makes for a great anecdote at cocktail parties anyways just recently I have completed an emr rifle what a sight it was to hold a weapon of unfortold devastation in ones hands and to shoot up into the ceiling forever stopping that irritating music sighn me up I specializ in raising the dead growing weed and electromagnetic engineering and guess what I thought of a plan to defeat the purple tapeworm or whatever his name is having super sticky powers I would presume from his bizzare name we could re ionize him destroying his stickiness that would only work if he is polymer based otherwise putting him in a pressurecooker would do the trick I suggest we do both we fry him and bake him but first the capture method lure him in with the nacho power but little does he know that the nachos are impregnated with iron fillings I activate the hyperomagnet he goes flying then we drag him into the overelaborate lab and elecrocute him re ionizing him and baking him into normality no longer being a threat we can sick the cybernetic deseased genome enhanced giant gerbil on him.
no one can stop us now! for we are the ultimate death doctors of utter doom (and anhilation)!!
i want to join!
i have an evil cat
i make great pizza
i will do your evil research
i can grow evil fungi in my fridge
i enjoy throwing heavy things at people
or i could just be a minion!