Well, I applied to be an Evil Villain. I gave them about 60 seconds to get back to me about my application, and nothing. They dogged me.
Now I’m pissed, and I am gonna devote the rest of my life to the downfall of their organization.
Who’s with me? Anybody?..
:silence:
Guys? I can’t do this myself.
help
I considered your invitation at length, but sadly I must decline. Instead, I must take it upon myself to found the Neutral Superbeings Organization.
The NSO will not bother the Evil Villians or the Superheroes, but if either of you bother us, we’ll kick your ass. In the meantime, we’ll hang around at the nearby Superbeings Bar & Grille. You villians and heroes are welcome to join us, but if you fight each other while on the premises, you’ll get kick out.
Hey Kat, have you ever seen the movie Dogma? God sent the angels that remained neutral during the struggle for heaven into the depths of hell. So pick a side. Otherwise, when I take over all super operations, you will be punished severely for your indifference.
Oh yeah, and that cozy little bar and grill you were talking about is already being decimated and destroyed as we…er…type. Get this, I’m using my mind to do it, too. So how are you gonna kick my ass now. Looks like your little plan didn’t work.
The invitation is still open. But I’m only gonna give you about thirteen or fourteen more chances to do the right thing before I take action against you.
Man, business is booming. Now I have to keep tabs on those that are evil and those that are neutral.
Here’s the evil villain thread.
[ul]*Baloo uses his mind to kick steeljaw’s ss.[/ul]
Mind you, it’s a size 12 mind in a steel-toed boot, backed by the mass of a large angry bear.
Nothing personal, steeljaw, but I was having lunch there at the time. I’m not aligned with the villains, but I figure the longer they try to organize, the more they’ll dissolve into chaos. Anyone else notice they’ve almost forgotten about Hoboken? It was Hoboken wasn’t it?
~~Baloo
I wear a size 13. I’ll be back with a wingtip.
Well, of course you have to keep an eye on the Neutrals, considering you’ve just ticked them off by interrupting their lunch.
It would’ve been smarter to trick the Evil Villians into destroying the Bar & Grille, then we’d have been ticked with them and might have allied with you. The way you did it, you got beat up by Bear and the bouncer’s not gonna let you in for Happy Hour.
Lunch in on the house for Bear_Nenno today, in return for services rendered.
Man, you are so smart. Wanna join our organization? We could really use a smart person like you.
So waddaya say?
No. I’m a stupid moron, because I just called Baloo “Bear_Nenno”. I got confused by the phrase “large angry bear.” In apology for the mixup, both Baloo and Bear_Nenno get lunch and dinner on the house for a week.
btw, we have a special contract with a super-powered construction company for immediate (within 2 hours–they have speedsters on their payroll) reconstruction just for cases like this. Our insurance company will be in touch for damages.
I’m trying to apologize to bear nenno too. Could we split the check or something?
So just to clarify…you won’t joing my superhero organization?
'Cause like i said before, we could really use a smart kat like you, and i’m feeling a little vulnerable right now what with me being the only member and all. Plus, i’m pissing off non-neutral, non-villains too, so I think business is a little too good…or bad…however you wanna look at it.
I will join your hero organization. How are we planning to destroy the villains?
WOW!! With DOpers like Kat and GolfWidow I will never go hungry!! BTW, you are not a stupid moron. Mixing up two “large angry bears” is a common and honest mistake.
I’m not sure yet. I think your impenetrable disguise will come in handy though. Can I try it on?
Anyway, we’ll hammer out the details of our plan when Kat joins our group. He’s/She’s got the brains. So right now we need a plan to get Kat in our organization so we can destroy the villains.
I think we should send her new tools/flowers.
Besides, steeljaw, if you use their tactics you’re one of them, even if you don’t think so. Indescriminate destruction of property doesn’t strike me as particularly heroic.
Bring on your size 13s. I’m large and getting (much) less limber than I used to be, but I’ve discovered that the ability to absorb serious punishment while I await the inevitable mistake on my opponent’s part works pretty well.
Beware! Start beating up on me and then the animal rights activists will start crawling out of the woodwork. I can see the headlines now:
[ul]So-called Hero Steeljaw Brutally Pummels defenseless Woodland Creature!
[sup]Film at eleven…[/sup][/ul]
Hey, leave the B&G alone! Why is it that every time some super group, be it good or bad, feels the need to pick on someone it’s us neutral guys that end up having to rebuild our homes?
Kat, if the Bar and Grille is destroyed, AGAIN, I’m deducting it from your paycheck!
looks chagrined I’m sorry, Sci. I didn’t know the good guys over here did things like that. But we have a couple of new friends now. points to Baloo and Bear_Nenno
Ah. Good. We can use all the help we can get. Are they both bouncers, or is one willing to work behind the bar? Frank hasn’t really been doing his job lately, you know, and I can use all the help I can get.
Geez Kat, if I had an employer who would deduct from my paycheck for something completely out of my control, I would probably just go and join some organization of superheroes. Then when you get all famous 'n stuff you can walk in the bar and be all like “hey, I’m a big superhero now, betcha wish you wouldn’t have deducted from my paycheck.” And he’d be all like " da duh do." Then we’d all leave and go kick some villain ass.
Baloo, so you have a superpower too. Why don’t you join. If you combine both our shoes you have a size 25 steel toed wing tip. That could do some serious ass kickin’ if i do say so myself.
Sci fi guy, look, we’re gonna need a new headquarters once we get a fanbase here. How bout it? We’ll cut you in on the profits. Everyone knows that superheroing is a very lucrative business.
Sorry Sci-Fi,
I would love to help, but I have a rule against helping sock puppets. Just create about a half dozen more of you guys and you will have a great little gang. Maybe even enough to start a mutiny and kill the Evil Villains…
:::sigh:::
What’s a sock puppet?
