Just try it. I dare you.
Do you DOUBLE DOG DARE ME?
I am so confident in my organization’s (member count - 1) ability to beat you guys that I’m even gonna tell you where our (my) headquarters are.
Actually, I triple dog dare you.
Bring it on sucker.
(and I mean that in the nicest possible way)
TRIPLE dog dare…??
Um…
well…
Ok
<vague smell of vomit as hamsters begin disgusting attack>
(There has just GOT to be a better way to spend a Saturday night…)
And hey, where’s the backup support over here? Admittedly, this is a fairly minor threat, but still, help the hapless mascot out whydoncha?
What the hell do you mean by minor?
My eyebrow acrobatics would be enough to bring any foe to his or her respective knees.
Get that damn gerbil away from me. I saw The Klumps.
Ha Ha Ha, I stole your moon.
Superheroes 1 Evil Villains 0
Hey! Can I be a super hero? I can belch pretty durn well!
feelyat, if you’re serious about being a superhero. Go to our headquarters
In fact, even if you aren’t serious. Go there and join anyway. We need the numbers. And just to clarify, you want to be a superhero right?
I once wanted to be a super villain, but then I realized they are all just pompous bastards…just follow the headquarters link, it’s all there.
Well, would belching well be an asset for a superhero?
absolutely without a doubt
Hey how about me? I’ll be a one-man gang. I’ll beat up all the lawyers in a courthouse before they can rise to “Object”. I steal candy from a baby, push the stroller in front of a moving bus, and save the baby’s life, just so I can rob from the grateful mother’s house later that day.
I can, I can rob a bank with a press of my keyboard. I’ll put superheroes in sex offender’s lists, give them bad credit, and have them owtlawed forever by the president. They’ll bomb the [hah!] Justice League [/hah!] HQ in three minutes. How about me as a villian? Me!! Me!!
you seem like a pretty big threat to superheroes, so i’m giving you a choice. either you join the superheroes or i vanquish you. It doesn’t seem like a tough decision to me.
toodles
This… ‘spongejaw’ is becomming irritating. Minions, bring me his lifeless corpse.
Think so?
[Python]
Did I mention I’m also a master of Llap Goche, the Welsh art of self defense?
[/Python]
Welcome, capacitor. Fear nothing from those goody-goodies. Join Raven and Arkon; the three of you should have no trouble with this tinjaw fellow. By the way, the rest of your suggestions sound good, let’s do it!
MISSION REPORT
-from my secret moon-base
I just finished making the final fortifications on my new moonbase (my plans for the weekend fell through, so…).
Anywho, we have a new station from which to launch our massive space fleet. I’m planning on sending a brigade of zombie-droids on an emissarial mission to form an allience with any evil aliens they can find.
But that’s not why I’m here…
I too have noticed this undeniably despicable attempt of others to form an opposition group to ours. A G.I. Joe to our Cobra if you will. I think we have a few lessens to learn from this.
- This ‘steeljaw’ fella apparently felt put-off by us. This is out fault (actually the fault of our HR department, but bygones…) We need to improve our recruitment and people skills by leaps and bounds. I will be hosting a workshop on the Carribean Island Super-Secret base next week, and all are required to attend.
- While entertaining, infighting is preventing us from our world domination plans. It ruined the aforementioned Cobra organization, from which we recieved plenty of hand-me-downs I might add. We should start pillaging again, otherwise people are just not going to take us seriously.
- The opposition group seems to be drawing potential recruits from us. these people are very evil, yet feel compelled to turn to good. I think this problem is rooted in the educational systems these people came from. I propose we infiltrate school boards and such the world over and start corrupting the youngest minds we can find. This will make heroes easier to spot, and villains easier to find.
I’ll leave you with that. I made an offer to steeljaw over on his thread, and I hope he’ll join us. Each soul we turn from the light makes us stronger.
Preceding the meeting next week, I’ll be attacking several small countries, please contact me if you want to join the raid, or feel like you need remidial pillage training.
Good day, and go evil!
while the other villains are distracted with steeljaw’s antics, ::dogsbody slips into Ruffian’s lair through the sewers (yech) and replaces the Balance-Brain Paperweight ™ with a remarkably life-like silicon and rubber mockup. Then, it’s just another jaunt through the sewers (on a path that takes any possible pursuit past the most possible traps) back to Falcon’s location.::
Here you go…I think we were looking for this, right?
Excellent job, inoci. I’ll be at the retreat. Good timing, too, I just got my black leather cape back from the cleaners (I tan easily).
The pillaging is long past due. The only question is, where shall we pillage? In a spirit of no more infighting, let’s put it to a member vote. I nominate the following targets.
The Canary Islands (You haven’t lived until you’ve tried Canary with my special raspberry sauce)
Kamchatka (low population, it’d be a good practice run)
Washington, D.C. (lots of potential recruits there)
The Komodo Islands (their dragons have the genetic raw material I need for my Komodo Rabbit experiments)
France (just because they’re France)
Iceland (We villains could not ask for a more sere and blasted, Mordor-like countryside. With cute blondes)
California (today Microsoft, morgen das welt)
As for the school boards, I suggest we begin with Kansas. Their resistance to infiltration by our self-serving ilk is known to be low. Bwaha. BWAHA. BUHWAAAHAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!
I suggest you begin by pillaging…yourselves, you evil barf faced fiends.
You guys have a moon base? Jesus, why don’t you and the frickin “laaaaser” get a room? Talk about :cough: rip off.
It looks to me like your little Carribean Island Super Secret resort overbooked. Because We have a meeting there too next week. And obviously we aren’t gonna let your slimy small minded asses take the venue.
But seriously folks,
About the pillaging, could you guys send us…like an itinerary or something? You know, just a little something to let us know where you’re gonna be and when so that we can plan accordingly. I mean, we may be superheroes, but we have lives to you know.
Toodles
:intimidatingly mean stare: