I just went to the bathroom and the toilet seat had residual butt warmth. My day is shot. 
I hope you’re not home alone!
I’m at work. It could have been any one of 2500 butts that warmed that seat.
And Zeldar, thanks for freaking me out. I’ll be checking for butt warmth at home now. The horror…
Ahhh… so it was incubating the chick.
Maybe a bad thing in July in Shangrala, but its a good thing in say South Dakota in February. 
Lieu, this woman must have camped out for a while. It was VERY warm. It was a big, warm, porceline egg.
It’s when the seat is ice-cold that you should start to worry, because that’s a sign that it was last used by one of the undead…
“big, warm porceline egg”
You’re right…ewwww.
I don’t like a warm seat, either. At least, not one that’s been warmed by a stranger’s stinky ass!
Also, the toilet paper was torn unevenly. She didn’t follow the perforated line. The edge was askew. Not good.
Gee, when I hear “incubation” and “big egg” and “toilet seats” I think insects and spiders. Enjoy your next trip to the toilet…
snicker
Well, be thankful that you can be certain it wasn’t lieu!
What… like she’d chewed through it?
Sorry to scare you, Kalhoun. I realized after hitting “submit” that it was much more likely you were not at home.
Having had virtually no experience in the distaff crappers, but based on stories I’ve heard from cow-orkers who have, you should be thankful it was only warmth you had to contend with. I hear the gals where I worked would stand on the seat or hover above it, making no special effort to keep the seat dry.
I was trained as a little kid to tear off enough paper to cover each side of the seat. Anytime I’m in a strange head I do that. Even if it’s supposedly tended to by a careful staff.
Even then though, sometimes that warmth works its way through and provides all the evidence I need that “we are not alone.”
This is one reason women “squat” and not sit!
Obviously the other end of the paper is still stuck to her butthole and likely only broke off when she stood and pulled her pants up. Gah, when she gets home tonite and disrobes for the shower she’s gonna have a Charmin tail chasing her and giving her a bad case of Isadora Duncan Anus. Hopefully there’s no stationary bicycle in the bathroom.
Thank goodness I’m a man 
::Wiping spewed soda from monitor::
Aces, lieu!
The problem with squatting is that you tend to splatter. If you squat, please wipe afterwards!
You know what I hate? When I walk out of a stall, and the person coming in walks right into the stall I just left–and there are tons of other stalls available! Why MINE?? And don’t get me started on when people take the stall directly next to you. Especially when all the others are open and you’re on the END!
Happiness is a warm bum.
A Charmin tail.
I am quite literally laughing OUT LOUD right now. I hope no one here at work minds.