Ex-boyfriend taking back a gift; what should I do?

Ah I missed that part, that does make the situation much trickier. I guess it depends if she promised him a certain price for the second ticket. If the OP didn’t agree to any minimum price with her ex, it was sort of “I’ll get you whatever I can for the other one,” then I don’t really think she owes him any more money.

Q: Do you still want to be friends with him?

A: Yes - then give him the $100

A: No - then give him the $100
The unfair deal is offering to give a person $400 then after the deal is done, only giving him $300.

I’ll give you $4 for that hot dog.
Changed my mind, here’s $3.

I’d be frankly peeved if someone made that kind of deal with me.

As I understand, you made a deal to pay 200; after the concert you decided this ‘wasn’t fair’… though cookies: pay the man. If you didn’t want to pay, you should have brought it up earlier. Kudos though, for making him feel like he is better of without you.

You already gave him too much. He promised you tickets and he should have given them to you. You owe him nothing. Ignore him, block his number, trash his mail, and don’t think about him again

I can’t get my head around what your gift to him has to do with this situation – that’s over and done with, and since your gift to him was not predicated on getting some equal or greater gift from him in return, it’s just not relevant.

He bought tickets with the intent to use them with you as a couple. That didn’t end up happening because of the breakup. If you’d physically had the tickets in hand because he’d already given them to you, I think you’d have had every right to keep them without compensation. But that isn’t what happened. He still had them, and he wanted to recoup his money spent on them. He had no obligation to sell them to you, but he agreed to do so. You know that it was his intent to recoup what he paid for them.

So, I think you ought to pay him the $100 and walk away from him. Could he have been nicer about the situation? Absolutely. But I don’t think that’s any reason not to give him what you know he intended to get and be done with him.

Yea, I think one should honour ones agreements, regardless of whether you want to stay friends with the person you made the agreement with. Life is full of minor agreements we make with strangers, if people were constantly reneging, every minor transaction with other people would be a PITA.

Its a little unclear from your post exactly what you agreed to vis-a-vis the second ticket. But assuming you agreed to give him $200 for it, I think you should give him $200 dollars.

The hockey tickets are irrelevant.


According the OP he gave her the tickets as a birthday gift. When they broke up…he kept the tickets. Legally, they weren’t his to keep.

It’s not “Greg.” Greg and I have been broken up for almost a year now.

This one is the one I asked about here.


“A gift, in the law of property, is the voluntary transfer of property from one person (the donor or grantor) to another (the donee or grantee) without full valuable consideration. In order for a gift to be legally effective, the donor must have intended to give the gift to the donee (donative intent), and the gift must actually be delivered to and accepted by the donee.” (emphasis added)

Yes, but then why doesn’t he have to hold to his agreement? One of the tickets was def. a gift to her.

No, he promised* to give them to her, but they broke up before he made delivery. Legally, they were his. Gift promises are unenforceable.


*Maybe not even this.

Why? He didn’t promise some girl he used to know the tickets. He promised the girl he was sleeping with. When she wasn’t that person again, he had no moral responsibility to give her the tickets. They were bought for an entity who no longer existed.

The analysis is not changed, but is strengthened, by the fact that the OP dumped him.


No it wasn’t.


P.S. Sorry for the multiple posts – this thread is jumpin’ off.

If I was him, I would have just given you the pair of tickets.

If I was you, I would have paid him the entire $400.

If it were two people like me, we would have agreed to split the difference and the tickets would have been exchanged for $200.

Some shit is not worth the argument.

It seems pretty debatable if that was an actual agreement. He was going to bring her to a concert, I don’t think that’s the same thing as agreeing to give her a ticket if they break up.

On the other hand, there doesn’t seem to be any doubt in the OP’s mind that she agreed to pay her ex the 100 dollars. She’s just not sure if she should abide by her agreement.

Yeah, pretty much.

Well, it was pretty foolish of him to buy you tickets for an event 7 months away when you were only dating for 3 months. That being said, the fact that you were dating (and only knew each other) for such a short time makes it seem less reasonable that you would expect him to give you the gift after you broke up.

Stranger things have happened, but I also don’t foresee a friendship continuing between you two since you weren’t really friends before you started dating and you dated for such a brief period of time.

Spending $700 combined on gifts after three months is what seems crazy to me!

I don’t agree that the implication is that the tickets were hers because they were sleeping together. It was for her birthday, which exists, and a person who continues to exist despite the breakup. Unless he specifically said it was for the continued sexual favors in the confines of a relationship, he should honor his agreement. Just because people break up shouldn’t invalidate everything that happened during the relationship. When I break up with exes, that doesn’t mean I blab their secrets to everyone, set fire to items bought by or during the relationship, and generally pretend those people doesn’t exist anymore or are scum. If she asked me to keep a secret, I try my best to continue doing it. If I had given a gift to her, big or small, I wouldn’t ask for it back, ever