EX-ministers wives unite!

The BBQ Pit
1

Never posted in the Pitt before, but couldn’t find a place to ask this question…

I must first say that this could be a 1 post thread as I have a feeling I may be the only one here… but what the hell lets get it off my chest anyway!

Are there any other EX-ministers wives here?

(was that what you were expecting?)

I mean religious ministers.

I am proud to say that I am… proud about the EX part that is. 5 years in the business and am now out!!!
How am I out I hear you ask?
DIVORCE!!! YAHOOOOO.

Now the Divorce thing is irrelevant, I’ve moved on, and don’t really care too much… but it’s the minister wife thing that I’m Pitting about.
What a hell of a life!!! See-through, money-focused, total egotistical God complexed society…(ohhh I’m diggin this… I may post here more often) Now where was I?

As a wife, and I was a University graduate, intelligent, witty, and musically gifted… but that was not important, as my role was one of submission and bloody cake making, and prayer leading.
No drinking… not even a glass of wine, on show 24-7, having an arguement with my husband (as he was a wanker) and then all smiles if someone came over or we went somewhere. Fake, fake, fake lifestyle.

I will hold off the rest of my rant untill I have someone to reply to, someone to commiserate with or argue with, whatever…

Ex- ministers wives fall in!!

2

Did he become a minister after you married him or was he a minister before you married him?

3

Bloody cake? Is that something to do with the eucharist? It’s supposed to be symbolic, you know.

4

Not to nitpick or anything, but wouldn’t you be a minister’s ex-wife?

Rant on.

5

He was in his final year of Theological College when we started dating. Don’t tell me then that I knew what I was getting into… because I didn’t. I never knew how it would be, I was sold on the loving, caring side of it all. Perhaps He and everyone thought that to be true at the time too.
P.S I have heard that He has left the ministry too!

And I don’t think it really matters as to whether I was ‘ministers ex-wife’ or an ‘ex-ministers wife’ in the telling of the story.
You knew what I meant!

I have yet to have a suitable reply to continue my rant, but thanks for the encouragement!!!

6

Do go on. You’ve got my curiosity up.

I mean, I’m neither a minister, nor a wife, but I have some experience with ministers’ kids, and I am here to tell you that NOBODY tears up jack like a minister’s son, and ministers’ daughters, to my experience, either develop into the sweetest, most chaste li’l things to come down the pike… or something akin to biker mamas, but without the subtlety and charm.

I apologize in advance to the hordes of ministers’ children that I have no doubt offended with this remark. You will, of course, note that I have not actually met any of YOU.

My experiences with ministers’ wives is most limited, and I am more than eager to learn somethin’ new.

7

I should prolly apologize to all the biker mamas who normally hang out here at the SDMB, as well.

And now I remember. Was this the guy who bought your kid the GI Joe, or am I mixing you up with someone else?

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Whoops. Never mind. I AM mixing you up with someone else…

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I had a friend turned stalker (well, almost, we stopped it before it got really bad!), and BOTH of his parents were ministers.

Make of that what you will.

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What about the future children of my friends Vernon and Sarah? Will they be doomed just because their grandfathers are both pastors?

F_X

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Hey, GRANDPARENTS is a different matter. This sort of thing, to my knowledge, only affects your immediate descendants…

There are pitfalls in being TOO moral.

12

Good Lord (excuse the pun) I should step in before this thread goes completely off track…
I had no children with my ‘wanna-be-God’ , but of course spent alot of time with their kids. In my experience I never met one who had a good relationship with their parents AND was considered cool at school.
The one place they were cool was Church, they were like the Prom King and Queen you have in the States. The ones who didn’t have good relationships with their parents were the ones I liked most.

When you’re a Ministers wife, you spend alot of time being seen but not heard. You were expected to give your all, but remember the Ministers wife is NOT paid a cent. And many have full time jobs also.
I have a tendency to tell fart jokes, say ‘shit’ every now and again, and get around in old trackpants and no shoes. This was not a good thing as you can imagine.
The work done by the women was not considered high priority. And the tasks we were given were holding cake stalls to raise money, teaching Sunday School, and having babies!!!
We were to be dutiful and supportive and of course were to have a faith as strong as an Oak.
I constantly felt belittled and irrelevant. Yet as long as my hair was neat, and I looked ‘pretty’ I made a good arm decorator for my ‘wanna-be-God’.
I was always trying to bait my fellow wives into sharing their unhappiness with their positions, but they kept tight lipped, even though I saw the sorrow in their eyes.
I remember having an arguement with ‘wanna-be-God’ (which they hate as they are the closest thing to God on this earth, and it has gone to their heads and they can’t believe someone disagrees with them) about not wanting to go to church 2-3 times on a Sunday (most churches have a couple of services on a Sunday), as soon as we arrived at the Church, he tried to grab my hand, when I flinched he became possessed and told me to stop, assume the act and basically fake it… and damn it, fake it NOW!!!
I left him with-in 6 months from that day.

Shall I go on???

13

Well I’m not a ministers wife ex-or other wise. But I am related to the following ministers

Maternal Grandfather - Baptist
Maternal Uncle-in-Law - Uniting
Brother-in-Law - Lutheran

and my best friend married a minister (Lutheran).

Plus I boarded for a couple of years at Luther Campus in Adelaide which is where they train Lutheran Ministers in Australia.

I can hear (read?) where you are coming from superstar. It is a very hard life to lead, that of support/prop to the leading man.

14

superstar,

Sounds to me like extreme debriefing with massive doses of tequila could be in order.

15

Now I´m thinking in that sitcom… how it was called? Seven of akind or something… about this minister and his family, with such a wife as you describe.

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So, superstar, now that you’re back on the market…How YOU doin’?:wink:

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The only one who could ever reach me was the son of a preacher man. (Belted that one out at karaoke a couple of weeks ago - good’n’slutty song).

Yes, LordDisco’s dad is in the process of becoming a Deacon. Not quite the same, but his mom does get dragged around all over the place to attend classes etc. I think it wears on her too.

Glad to hear you got out. Do you attend any church now that you’re divorced?

18

Whew. You have my sympathies, superstar. I could never became involved with a minister, largely because I’ve never heard of a minister’s wife who wasn’t essentially an unpaid church employee. And these women worked for the church–organizing Bible school, leading Sunday school, visiting the sick and grieving, attending umpteen-million covered dish suppers, negotiating church politics delicately, having the bluehairs scrutinize their clothing, hair, and make-up every damn Sunday and smiling, smiling, smiling all the while.

19

Jeez. Marriage as a career option.

And not a very good one at that…

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My god, superstar, the fact that you hung in there for as long as you did says lots.

I would NEVER NEVER NEVER marry anyone who was a preacher.