Silly cheerful serious megalomaniac innocently perverse lunatic anarchist feminist with delusious of grandeur and dreams of possible pragmatic implementation scenarios.
ahem. well since you asked…
** Former military officer ** <–never made it past O-3 and couldn’t hack it.
** book, movie, and travel-loving dysthymic; ** <–book, movie, and travel-loving psuedo-manic depressive hypochondriac with access to too much information.
** brown-haired, brown-eyed, divorced, male Ohio community college geography instructor from West Virginia. ** <–gay.
As for me, the fewest words yet:
I am Forrest Gump’s evil twin.
fourteenth utterly despicable post and still counting.
P.S. If you mistake my facetiousness for rudeness, you are probably right. But lighten up. 
A riddle, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a vest.
Teenaged girl-loving college student of the North with short stature, glasses, ridiculously curly hair and sense of high irony.
Short, bibliophile, with a dark side, rampant sex drive, father and husband before all else. Also loves all things Medieval.
15-year-old computer programmer from Oregon. Obsessed with…sex (of course), SDMB (one word?) and shameless self-promotion (cough)
24, overweight, beautiful, whimsical, intelligent, hypersensitive, autodidactic, mood-driven woman with impressive vocabulary and my whole life ahead of me.
Perfect.
21, big, virtuous, boisterous, happy, energetic, thoughtful, sensitive, charming, obsessive, intelligent, sexual female
I am 23, smarter than I appear (probably); insanely ambitious perfectionist brain-surgeon-astronaut-lawyer-superhero who loves pink carnations.
Too many hyphens?
I am a…
quiet, inhumanly bizarre engineering student who loves music, cats, and listening to people and who cares more than he should.
There, 20 words if you don’t count the lead in… and a complete sentence if you do 
33-male-engineer-concert production manager-intelligent-witty-6’1-dark hair-hazel eyes-happily married-wouldn’t mind a flirt or two…
You see I am not a native English speaker, so I felt no guilt in just listing unrelated words and phrases instead of writing a camplete sentence.
(BTW my explanation sentence is 27 words, so i am a hopeless case )
Tall, Filipino, White, charmer, with interest in languages and writing systems, likes men, drawing, tattoos, and flashy but stylish clothes.
Ha! 20 exactly
Strange but harmless American white male living in London, happily married, thirty-three years old, interested in music, reading, cats, and felching puppies.
Damn…23 words…
Okay, just leave off the last three words, then.
*Originally posted by Hiro Protagonist *
ROTFL!
“Life is like a box of chocolate’s…”
::cue Psycho shower scence music:: DIE! DIE!
No, no – “Coeds are like a box of chocolates – there’s always this pink gooey stuff inside…”
or
“Psycho is as psycho does, Mother always says. Isn’t that right, Mother?..”
20 words…20 words…hmmm… Nope. Sorry eponymous, I’m just too complex for that! 
Wait, let me try…
Blonde dyed red-haired, blue-eyed, petite, intelligent, funny, good-looking, female studying computers and infatuated with eponymous’ butt.
snickers
Shiftless, skinny bald poem writer, little use for small talk (read shy), pool fanatic who smokes way too many cigarettes.
Married father of 3, 48, brown / blue, love the outdoors, former archaeologist, current businessman,always traveling, always daydreaming, never satisfied.
31yr old 5ft6 redhead, blue eye, brown eye, unfit, loves to laugh, loves computers, hates british winters, loves her kids.