Plenty of people act negatively to a positive pregnancy test. And I’ll bet even more who act positively about a negative test.
First was, although she did stop napping right after she turned two. Second didn’t sleep more than a couple of hours at a time for the first couple of years.
They do, but the most common does seem to be that people express excitement first for things they genuinely wanted to happen. They may feel the other feeling at the same time, but it’s less obvious. And it’s really common to just pay attention got the positive and just get the negative later.
I’m pretty sure that’s why this is depicted this way. Sure, they’re overselling it because it’s a reaction for video, and they want positive vibes for their product or TV show or movie. But there’s enough of a feeling of verisimilitude in their reaction that it works.
This doesn’t mean other ways of feeling are wrong. Just that this particular reaction seems relatable in a general way.
That’s my take, anyways. And not just for this trope.
I daresay most real-life pregnancy tests are taken in fear and trepidation by women terrified it will be positive. Young girls living at home with shrieking moralistic abusive parents (step-fathers, ‘uncles’ in the house), most teenagers, impoverished mothers working two jobs already, women living in third-world states with enforced childbirth, women hooked up with men who would explode with wrath, anger, angst, tears of NON- JOY… The commercials show a 30-ish loving couple sitting smooching, holding hands, floating on a pink cloud, picking out names…the commercials don’t show terrified young girls who don’t know what to do now. The commercials that DO show a negative result don’t depict joy and tears of relief, but add like some kind of disclaimer words to the effect of ‘oh well, sadly, not this time, but I most certainly want to gestate a fetus, definitely, some time in the future.’ Those who are overjoyed at getting knocked up, it’s not about you, good for you. That’s what those sweet commercials are all about. If the commercials for pregnancy tests were realistic, they would tell a different tale, and they most certainly don’t go down that road.
You don’t get it BigT. @bump made an absurd statement telling someone how they “should” feel during highly emotional event. That’s ridiculous and they should know better. People react very differently with a wide range of emotional reactions and it’s not uncommon for completely opposite reaction to occur.
It doesn’t matter what the “normal” reaction to something highly emotional, people will react differently, and I am full aware of what the “most common” reaction is, so no further explanation from you was required.
A comic that plays on the “I just KNOW I’m pregnant” glow. (Of course, Faye is just messing with him.)
I’m reminded of the old joke:
Doctor: “I have good news, Mrs. Jones!”
Patient: “That’s great, but actually I’m Miss Jones.”
Doctor: “I have bad news, Miss Jones!”
Pregnancy tests are much cheaper and more widely available now than they once were. They could detect “pregnancy hormone levels” above a certain threshold, but could not date the pregnancy as some now do.
Working emergency in small town, you do a lot of pregnancy tests. Sometimes you are asked to do them, for dating or suspicion or confirmation of a home test. Sometimes the patient has other symptoms such as nausea. Sometimes the patient needs other bloodwork and it is added on. Sometimes the patient needs a chest X-ray or other test, but before using too much radiation it is desirable to know there is not a baby there if the woman is of childbearing age.
So I have broken the news of a pregnancy to hundreds of women. Depending on the circumstances, often just to the woman. But I have seen the reaction of many dozens of couples who just learned that the woman was pregnant. And the reactions, though all over the map, are more positive than otherwise. Many are very pleased. Some wish to explore more options or are suddenly considering its significance.
What I was trying to say, is that much like getting cold feet at the altar, if your first response is fear and anxiety when you hear about a positive pregnancy test when you’ve been trying to have a child, you’ve not thought it through very well, or you weren’t actually on board with it in the first place.
I’m NOT telling someone how they should feel, but if their reaction in either event (immediately before marriage ceremony or positive pregnancy test for a desired child) is negative, then that’s probably indicative of something bigger going on.
In other words, if you’ve actually thought it all through and truly want the kid (or to get married), then fear and anxiety would seem to be an unusual initial response. That’s typically how people who don’t want kids, or who don’t want to be married would be expected to react, and if you do initially react that way, then I would suggest some serious reflection on whether you actually want that kid or to get married.
We had been trying for months, but our reaction to the positive test was surprise and confusion. We had taken that particular month “off” due to her cycle scheduled to hit in the middle of a vacation.
Why not keep trying during the vacation? We did the night before we left (for fun and shiggles), but for over a week our beds were to be separated by a thousand feet of aircraft carrier.
I know of couples who go for years before it happens. There’s probably exhausted relief in there, but why question unadulterated joy?
And I don’t agree. It’s probably not a majority response, but I think it’s understandable if you actually did think it through, because it’s a sign you have actually thought about all the changes it brings you. And it’s perfectly reasonable to be trepidatious about that. Once again, different strokes. I’ve done plenty of things that I knew were intellectually the right thing to do, and I knew it would bring me joy in the end, but to do it was like throwing myself off a cliff emotionally and trusting my judgment to eventually catch me.
It’s probably just an indication the person is a bit neurotic.
On a more serious note. Major positive life events, such as getting married or getting a child, are also very stressful.
Here is an example. One of the most common fears is public speaking. Perhaps you are genuinely happy and honored to be invited to give the keynote address at your industry’s big tradeshow, but you’re also very apprehensive and nervous about having to actually give the talk in front of hundreds of people. So when being told you’ve been selected, maybe instead of being excited about finally receiving the recognition you deserve, you’re mostly apprehensive about the whole thing, even though it something you’ve worked towards your whole career.
And you think that people who have more emotions than pure joy as they get married haven’t thought it through?
We each contain multitudes. We are capable of both being joyous and overwhelmed by the magnitude and life altering enormity of this very next step, the step after which all changes, no going back now, at the same time. We are capable of mourning the loss of our old life and celebrating the start of the rest of our lives at the very same time, even while chewing gum.
The argument could be made just as well that only those who haven’t really thought it through have joy unadulterated by anything else!
But no that’s not true either.
These major life phase changing events by choice are more than just big steps, they are jumps into an abyss off a cliff. Yelling Yee Haw purely is a valid way to leap and so is pausing and taking the leap with some solemnity.
You vacation on an aircraft carrier? I’d like to hear just a little more about that.
I disagree strongly.
It is one of the ultimate life-changing events. A thorough, sober analytical assessment of the pros and cons and full consent to, and desire for, the outcome is not a guarantee that, when faced with the enormous reality of it, you won’t feel fear and anxiety.
I disagree, such doubts and fears are a completely normal reaction to massive events. Especially when it has never happened to you before.
Don’t want kids, but I can’t understand even a little confusion over this. If you want something and it happens, why wouldn’t you be happy? Like, I struggle when thinking how I would elaborate on that.
You can’t imagine someone wanting a massive, life changing event to happen but also feeling anxious and some degree of fear when it is confirmed it is going to happen?
I can’t see how that is hard to conceive at all.
Like said above, I’ve been neither a father nor astronaut in my life, but I’d guess many expectant fathers feel a “shit just got real” wave that slams them, and many-an-astronaut has probably thought “Oh shit I really am going to get blasted into space inside a rocket with 2 million pounds of thrust and reenter the atmosphere at 3,000 degrees aren’t I?”
I’d like everyone to note that I phrased my initial response as “should”, I’m well aware that finding out you/your partner is actually pregnant can be an eye-opener, but the way the OP phrased it made it seem that
a) they thought this would all be a new realization for the expectant parent, and
b) it would completely swamp any joy felt.
Sure, there’s that “Shit just got real” moment, but if you’ve actually planned for your kids, questions like “where’s the million bucks going to come from” should already be answered.
Didn’t say that.