Explain this joke please

[Beware_of_Doug]

I’m pretty sophisticated as a rule, but I totally miss the premise on this one.

@Chanteuse

There was a man who, on his 90th birthday, decided to visit the local whorehouse to celebrate. He walked in and told the madam, “I want one of your youngest and prettiest girls for the whole night!” The madam, who didn’t want to hurt the old guy’s feelings, sought out a sweet young thing and told her, “This fellow will probably fall asleep before he accomplishes too much, but treat him nice and don’t upset him. Make him happy and I’ll pay you a bonus.” The girl agreed, and the two of them headed for a room. As she lay on the bed and the old guy approached her, he halted and went to retrieve his pants. He reached into the pocket, saying, “I wouldn’t want to start without protection!” But to her surprise, instead of a condom, the man took out a clothespin and a pair of earplugs. Puzzled, she asked, “Why in the world do you need those?” He replied, “Well, Little Missy, if there’s two things I hate, it’s the smell of hair burning, and the sound of a woman screaming!”

There’s a variant where the burning hair is replaced by burning rubber. Doesn’t help me any.

[Freudian_Slit]

He’s going to fuck her so hard that she screams and things (her pubes?!) catch on fire? (or, alternatively, the condom catches on fire.)

ETA: Which is to say that the ear plugs are for his ears and the clothespin is for his nose.

[Beware_of_Doug]

Oh, so it’s just not a very good joke.

[Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup]

Or, he’s going to torture her.

Which makes it less unfunny, but still unfunny.

[Freudian_Slit]

Yeah, it’s pretty bad. The torture thing occurred to me before the other solution, and it seems only slightly worse than the actual interpretation.