Aw shoot Doggio and here I was imagining Maggie the Beagle Slayer. 
Oh well, maybe I’ll just go take a hot bath in my whirlpool bathtub instead and sip on a nerve tonic.
…
Hey, all.
Well, it was a strange day. I went (in the Mini-I borrowed my daughter’s car, mine being in the shop) to lunch. My friend (and her husband) met me there-they were on they’re way to the hospital, so that he could get some IV fluid and his electrolytes checked, so no girlfriend lunch…I do have plans to go out with her on Thursday, and another GF tomorrow–call me a social butterfly!
I did indeed start cleaning the [del]masturbation[/del]masterbedroom–I got it vaccuummed (why are there all those extra letters in that word?) and threw some stuff out. I need to clean off the tops of the dressers and then I am done. I made cookies, which to me was much more important, instead.
I accidently heard the greatest song yesterday (I only listen to NPR-I’m old). I love it. It’s Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. Can’t stop listening to it.
Thanks for all the {{hugs}} and good thoughts. It’s nice-we (me and husband) shall muddle through, I suppose. It IS better now (this time last year I was fully expecting a divorce-and would have welcomed it).
Bookishfeline --I am so sorry. It’s awful to be a (verbal) punching bag for someone. He does sound angry and depressed. Is there a work program/employee assistance program he could get in to? I know you said he won’t go, but if he thought it was work related, or mandated–maybe he would? I think you are right to set limits on his dumping. I plan to do the same here, if this continues.
I can’t believe my dinner is not done yet-what kind of a cook plans a meal for 7:30 pm? [sub]oh, that would be me-too busy to start dinner until 6:30pm…[/sub]
I want to rent The Queen , but tomorrow (after my lunch with a GF) I am taking the kids to see Happy Feet. Yay!
Thanks for the assorted hugs and good wishes.
I don’t know what I want to do. There are times when he’s ranting that he either threatens to leave or throw me out and I just walk away and refuse to listen to the crap.
There are times I wish he would leave - it seems much more peaceful when he’s gone.
And I know - I sound like a horrible person for saying that.
There are just so many things that we really should sit down and discuss, like civilized people do in cases like this, and he’s completely unwilling to talk.
He did eat dinner with us tonight, after a weird situation earlier this morning.
It was one of those times where he purposely picks a fight. We were on the phone and he asked what I was making for dinner. (This was about 10:00 am) I said I hadn’t decided yet, and if there was anything special he wanted. This started the usual BS of, “Never mind, just feed the kids. I’ll heat up some leftover pizza when I get home.”
(He’s got a huge martyr thing going on, too.)
I said I’d make whatever he wanted, that I was on my way to the grocery store, and he kept at this tone of, “Don’t make anything for me, I’ll just eat leftover pizza…”
Which turned into, “I’ll eat cold pizza…” I know he has this idea of “Oh, poor sad me, eating cold pizza. Everyone hates me.”
I finally just hung up on him when he said if I tried to make him dinner, he’d throw it out.
I did go ahead and set the table for all of us, and made a nice dinner. He seemed to be in a better mood when he got home, and I was somewhat surprised when he came and ate with us.
No apologies for the earlier behavior, though.
Damn. I know this is rambling and probably incoherant, but I can’t make it sound right.
Yes, he’s depressed.
There’s a huge martyr attitude going on, which pisses me off to no end. His mother was the same way and I hated it.
He seems to have some misplaced rage or whatever it’s called - he flies off the handle at trivial things and gets really upset and irrationally angry over stupid little things.
I just know there’s no way I’d get him into any kind of counseling.
One thing - I am not afraid for my safety or the safety of my kids. I would get the hell outta Dodge if I was. He gets very angry, but has never raised his hand to me. He just walks out and is gone for hours. I think he intentionally provokes these little ‘situations’ so he can leave.
Uhh…I don’t have a brother, oh Swampus Ursus. Does that mean I still don’t have to work?
Hello all, and Happy New Year! Another quick drive-by post - I don’t get Internet till Friday. Have been frantically scrambling about to get affordable furniture (a contradiction in terms!) and also get some work done - ugh.
Oh, swampybear, one of my first purchases for my new apartment was a big bunch of toliet paper. Aren’t you proud? 
Hugs and peaceful vibes to NavaClan (even the grandparents…so, there! :p), BibKitty, and rigs. And…please do keep us updated.
So sorry about the drama, BibKitty. I’m no expert, but that sounds like more than depression to me. Too bad you can’t get into counseling with him. Would it help to get counseling just for you to give you more ideas about how to handle the situation?
Glad to hear the happy update, Al (and welcome back…I was wondering where you’d gotten to). Congrats on the new digs. I’m another one who has resolved never to move again. I’ll eventually do some major remodeling here, but barring any surprises, I’m here for good.
FactFortress looks very nice, Sean. What kind of siding did you say it was, again? (Yes, mine is going to need to be re-sided; it’s currently covered in totally tacky aluminum).
Hi, MBG! (You started it!)
Hi, Hank. Have you started school again yet? Tell those internet people to hurry up. Don’t they know how important it is to be connected at all times?
Which reminds me: nice to see you again WileE. And yes, broadband is truly the way to go. I’ve dumped cable TV because I never actually watch it, but I’d never think to drop the cable internet.
I had no day off, as I work for state and not Federal government.
They said some interesting things about Ford on NPR this morning. The most impressive one was that he was the only recent President to have personally presented his budget to Congress; most don’t understand enough about the whole thing to do it themselves. But yeah, mourning seems like the wrong word. Sounds like he was a really decent person and he had a really long and full life, so it seems like we should be raising our glasses of nerve tonic to his memory.
Of course, I have to confess that when I first heard he’d passed, my first thought was for all those people who had him in DP 2006. And I could hear the sound of alternates moving up the lists in DP 2007. It was really really really annoying to be away from the internets at that moment.
OK…gotta get something done. Not sure what.
Back later…
GT
I’ll quite musclin’ for now, but only so I can bide my time. Next time I move I am going to make sure it is to a place that will allow my to put up wallpaper!
When you return in full we must commiserate on our moving woes. For instance, while I do have internet I still can’t get my wireless working again so I have a reeealy long network cable that I drag around the place to hook up to my laptop at the moment. As for furniture, the only reason that I am even able to afford all that I need is that I am putting off buying a reading chair for a while and my parents offered to buy me a bed for my Christmas gift (which I still need to get around to taking advantage of)
swampy - will you come up here and [del]kick my butt[/del] get me motivated? I really want to get organized around here, and unless there’s another human being here helping me, I tend to blow it off.
I lost a whole day today - while I was getting dressed for work I felt all woozie and unsteady so I called in and got back into bed…until about an hour ago. The good news is I didn’t spend all day eating. the bad new is I wasn’t able to take advantage of extra home time to clean up at all.
oh, and Drae:
what he said. And didn’t you promise us a picture?
hugs where needed. I’m going back to bed.
Just a quick drive by, as I have dinner cooking right now.
Wow, Bibs, I just don’t know what to say. However, I don’t feel you’re a bad person for saying what you did. It becomes increasingly difficult to be someone’s verbal punching bag. I really do hope you can work it out. Furthermore, I hope your husband realizes that he needs some help and will finally consent to getting some.
The day was wasted here. Ah well, it was nice all the same. The weather was awful and it was dark, rainy and windy all day. The kids came home soaked. I asked my daughter if she used her umbrella and she told me she had, but it didn’t do a darn bit of good.
Drae, I’m tapping my foot impatiently as well. You said you were going to post pics of the dress and now I want to see it. It would be better if perhaps there was a lampshade as an accessory on your head. 
Need to check din-din.
Hugs to Bibs and rigs. Some of what your (BiblioCat’s) husband is pulling sound like shit my Dad used to pull. Of course, it was in response to my mother’s bipolar episodes, but it was still damn unhappy to be caught in the middle of my Mom being nuts and my Dad alternating, “That’s okay! No one loves me! I suffer!”, and hiding in his workroom for days.
I am back from work and dance class. We did a bunch of crazy stuff including double drop three quarter shimmy walk, this weird backwards Saidi walk where your lower half is sort of jumping backward with a kicking/rolling motion and your top half is motionless, and an interesting forward arabesque thing. And a lot of insane choreo with ballet shimmy and very fast movement.
Hey, I was in class with her today. That’s the place where my school holds Arabic dance nights. She has awesome isolations.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all MMPers! Perhaps now that skiffman is back out fishing I will be able to be around a bit more frequently, it’s disconcerting to try to write with him breathing down my back. The bedroom currently occupied by the next kid to grow up and move out will become my private office. With a door I can lock! Honestly, I love the man, but he is unable to occupy himself if I look like I am doing something without him! Oddly enough if I need him to do something, he is always busy with something “urgent”. :rolleyes:
Christmas was fine, #3 is happy as a clam at high tide with her new guitar, and The Son is much the same with his new, larger screen (20") tv and his new bicycle. They got other stuff, but those were the highlights. The Son turns 14 on the 8th, his birthday celebration will be postponed until his dad is home later this month, I just can’t believe that my baby is gonna be 14. Good thing there’s a grandbaby on the way!
NYE was dull…just the way I like it! The kids went to the church for the traditional potluck and evening of board games, food, music, etc. I am pleased that both of them, and a couple of their friends, are still happy spending NYE at church. Skiffman had received a phone call from friend Brad (who spent Christmas Day with us) NYE morning that there was a position on the
f/v Nuka Island for pot cod (no, it’s the fishery in which cod is caught in pots, like crab pots) which is just offshore from the town of Kodiak, and lasts for about three weeks. So we spent the day and night getting him ready to go. Among other delights I discovered that he had stored his duffel of dirty fishing clothes from the summer in the shed since September! :eek: :mad: :rolleyes: And did he wash all of them before he left? No, he gave me the puppy dog eyes and asked if I would…fishermen! :rolleyes: I made a triple batch of toll house cookies for him to take with him and we ended up staying up until Brad came to pick him up at 8:15 am NYD, and then I took a nap until about noon.
Today school resumed, yay, and the sky has been threatening snow. The forecast is for snow all week. Not that I care, I try to stay inside when it’s coldcold. (as opposed to just cold ) I have been doing some beading, so far I have made a pair of earrings for a friend and loomed a bracelet for #3. Skiffman won’t let me buy any more beads until I use up what I have, (and I have a lot) and I have decided that I prefer Delicas, which I don’t have many of, so I need to be a beading fool! I am going to incorporate some of my beading with my polymer clay creations, and with luck I will be able to sell enough to buy all the Delicas I want! Oh, and I am attempting to create a website for my poms, as I am planning one or two breedings this Spring, so please wish me luck on that endeavor. (The making of the website, breeding the poms is pretty much left up to the poms, with the exception of my making the choice of which to put together. On the other hand I do want to use a male I haven’t bred before, so let’s hope he can get the job done on his own!)
My best to rigs and Bibcat. Have I mentioned that I divorced skiffman? He mended his ways and so I remarried him. Whatever your outcomes are, I wish you each a resolution without too much drama/emotional pain.
My resolution is to not be such a sporadic poster to the MMP, let’s see how I do!
Maybe he’s trying to self-medicate. Middlebro… well, maybe he isn’t “medically” manic depressive, but he has heavy mood swings. Whenever he’s been real down, he comes up fighting. I don’t have his mood swings, but the couple times I’ve been royally screwed by someone I trusted, I got real down and then came back up hunting for blood. The parentals’ depressions (also exogenic) have sometimes been pretty long, I know of one of Dad’s that lasted three years; when they get out, it’s guns a-blazing. Maybe your husband has similar experiences from previous (milder?) depressions and is trying to get that “rage out and up”. Of course, whether the depression is endogenous (and what he needs is pills) or it’s exogenous but the problem remains unsolved, the tactic is not going to work.
I hate the martyr stuff. Nowadays when Mom tries it we just don’t take it, but our childhood was one long-drawn martyrology. And in our case the worst part was that at home she’d be “oh my god everything hurts I need help oh oh oh” and then we’d go out and she’d wear her best face - even to the doctor’s! I’ve known her to take twice the usual dose of painkillers on the day she had a doctor’s visit. Why are there so many grown-ups who never seem to have gotten beyond age five?
Iiiiin any case, {{{{{Bibs and BibHubby and rigs and rigshubby}}}}}
gt, I’m afraid the peaceful vibes just bounce off the oldsters. The last time either of them was interested in peace and not for breaking it was when they were still suckling babies.
swampy, that’s not your nerve medicine. It’s your headache medicine. At least according to Grandma.
Good morning and happy noo year, MMPers!
Great OP, MamaTigs, families are such strange things. I have a very small family, essentially it’s just my mum, me and my surviving brother. We don’t see much of bruv and that’s the way we like it! He’s a weird creature, always thinks he’s far superior to anyone else and has a chip on his shoulder the size of a girder. My mum has felt for a long time that she’s been excluded from his life and from her grandson’s life, and after nursing that particular hurt for a long time, she finally came out and told him how she felt. His response to this was to tell her in no uncertain terms how he felt - and that included his feelings that she was partly responsible for our father’s untimely death. You can imagine how she felt about that one!
The worst thing was that he had held onto this grudge for over 20 years all the while taking my mother’s support (both emotional and financial) during his marriage, his wife’s pregnancy, her nervous breakdown, her subsequent post-natal depression problems and a whole host of other things.
They don’t talk much any more and I think mum has resigned herself to the fact that nothing she can say to him will change the way he feels, despite telling me a whole load of things about past family stuff that I’d not known much about (things that happened when I was very much younger and obviously hadn’t seen the significance of). I can understand why things happened the way they did, he would probably benefit from the same explanation but she knows he won’t have a word said against our father so he’ll never believe mum’s explanation is anything more than excuses for what he thinks she did. So that leaves her and me, united in our disgust of the son and heir. Ho hum.
On a more pleasant note, hexmas and noo year were fun although nobody told me that when we got to Wales, The Sick would be lying in wait for me! I’ve been battling it for a few days, made it into work today and am keeping everyone awake with my very serious cough.
The estate where we stayed was lovely, we had a fantastic cottage with a huge open log fire so while we were watching the gale force winds and torrential rain outside, we were snug in our little haven. We had parties for two nights, both very entertaining affairs, and I have to admit that I’ve seen 'im indoors in a totally new light. Karaoke king, no less.
Off to try and do some work now…
Bah! Forgot to add the hugs and positive vibes to everyone who needs them.
Ophelia will be pedalling again for all of you. Poor little mite, she was so pleased to see us yesterday when we went to collect her from the cattery. As soon as we came through the gate, she was standing in the doorway of her little pen, she could see us walking through the gardens and was almost clawing her way through the door when we got to the front of the row of pens where she was.
No excuses, young lady! Now get busy. I’ll eat your dessert. In front of you. That’ll learn ya. Now, get in there and get crackin’ on that assignment. Fine! I hope your face freezes like that.
Young lady, get in there this instant and organize sump’n. I mean it! Don’t make me come in there. You won’t like that at all. If you can hang out with that gang of yours “singing” half the night, you can get yourself organized. I saw that! Now, get busy!
Well, since you made cookies I guess it’s ok that you didn’t finish cleaning your room yesterday. However, I expect you to finish it today, young lady. The sooner you start the sooner you get finished. Stomp that foot all you want, you’re still cleaning that room.
SIGH I’m probably going to have to go to the [del]liquor[/del] drug store and get some more of my nerve tonic. These younguns are runnin’ me ragged!
MaggieWonderBeagle you know your servant doesn’t actually go out and slay your dinner don’t you? It comes in little cans and pouches from the store.
CelloDude the desire to wallpaper is a sure sign of some kind of inner sickness. Paint instead. Or hire somebody to do it. You can still have the thrill of agonizing for hours over little bitty swatches of wallpaper and wondering how a whole room full of it would look.
At last! I have impressed the importance of this on somebody. I am indeed proud of you Haze
Bibs and rigs I’m proud of the both of ya for hangin’ in there. I know it’s gotta be tough. rigs good to hear things are getting better. Bibs he won’t get better until he admits he has a problem and goes for help. In the meantime I’ll second the idea of you going for some counseling alone to help you cope with him. I have no idea if you’ve tried this or not, of course, but I’ve seen it help others in similar situations. Just sayin’.
Howdy Kai! Glad everything’s going good. How’s the house coming along?
Drae we want all the sordid details now, young lady!
Happy New Year ya’ll.
I’m still recovering.
Not from New Years, but from 9 houseguests (not including three pets).
Next year the wife and I are flying to a tropical isle for Christmas, if only to avoid another round of guests.
as much as that made me giggle, threats didn’t work from Mom, and I’m afraid they won’t work from you. But thanks for the thought
oh, but! I started NutriSystem on Jan 1 and lost 2.2 lbs so far