Stuck at the office.
Or, if you like the other version.
SNIP
And that whole exchange is even better in Stewie’s voice, which keeps getting higher pitched as he goes on and on.
More recent:
Peter: Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play “I Never.” You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did.
Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on.
(They all drink.)
Joe: I’ll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland’s wife.
(Quagmire and Cleveland drink.)
Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom.
(Only Quagmire drinks.)
About 33 drinks later
Peter: God lets see what else is there um…I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence.
Quagmire: Oh God.
(Quagmire takes a drink.)
Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself.
Quagmire: Oh come on!
(Quagmire drinks again.)
Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics.
Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.)
Quagmire should have his own spinoff show, he’s that great a character.
The other one is better for that. He gets so high pitched and breathless that you can barely understand him…until the last line. You can see them both here for the cruel at heart.
Earlier in that same episode, when they first go into the house where they’ll be hiding out.
Someone: “Oh, what’s that smell?”
Brian: “It’s either bad meat or good cheese.”
I love Stewie’s exchange with Olivia after his acting preformance in class:
Olivia: You ARE the weakest link. Goodbye!
Stewie (bursts into huge guffaws.): Oh, my, you are so FUNNY! Did you come up with that all by yourself? You are so FUNNY! You took a line from a show and used it out of context against me! You know, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone use that reference outside the show. Because that is what she says, right? “You are the weakest link. Goodbye!” God, you are so FUNNY!"
My apologies. I don’t have that season on DVD. Plus, “Zepplin” just sounds like a cooler band name than “Foghat.” (Not disbuting Foghat’s coolness - Zepplin just sounds better)
~Tasha
Two favorites:
Can’t remember what they’re watching on TV, but Brian strolls in and watches for a second. Then he says in perfect deadpan, “Got anything on that remote lower than ‘mute’?”
Lois runs over to Quagmire’s to borrow his car. Quagmire comes to the door in a short, open robe. He says sure, grins, and starts, ostensibly, searching his pockets for his car keys with his right hand, just out of frame off the bottom of the screen. His right hand roams around as he grins for about a solid minute, then his left hand appears from behind the door frame with the keys. “Oh, here they are.”
One Day at a Time, IIRC. During 'Schneider’s string of euphamisms for Ms Romano’s genetalia.
“Oh that Quagmire… what WON’T he say?”
(to the tune of his theme song) “Giggity-giggity-giggity, let’s have sex!”
I like the joke where somebody, I think Brian, reads something in the paper:
Brian: Peter, look at this.
Peter: My god! Movable type! Let no one tell the serfs, lest they rise up against us!
<Peter steps outside holding the paper>
Serf: What’s that, my lord?
Peter: Nothing! Get back to work!
I think it was them watching Seinfeld, the One Day At A Time incident was another ep.
Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man!
Kills me every time I see it.
No, I just watched this: he found the keys with his right hand.
Which, to me, made it funnier.
Brian, there’s a message in my Alpha Bits, it says “OOOOOOOOOOO”
Peter, those are Cheerios…
Season 4 hits the stands this November.
One of my favorites:
Peter is stapling a red carpet to the bedroom floor because the Emmys or Grammys are on that night. Lois, protesting, winds up wrestling him to the ground, shoving his face into the new carpet and yelling “Eat the red carpet! Eat the red carpet!”.
Quagmire, who has always lusted after Lois, is walking by outside, and hears Lois demanding “Eat the red carpet!”. He utters one weak “Giggety” and passes out.
Peter is teaching Meg how to get dates (I think), and says
“When I am through with you, you will be beating guys off with both hands”
Roleplaying in the bedroom:
Lois: I need a spanking. I’m a bad, bad girl!
Peter: I’m a paladin with 18 charisma and 97 hitpoints. I can use my helm of disintegration and do 1d4 damage as my half-elf mage wields his +5 holy avenger.
Lois: Paladins can’t use the helm of disintegration.
Peter: Oh. Okay, then I’m a black guy!
Don’t you mean Volume four?