I’ve been watching Family Guy on Adult Swim lately, and there are quite a few scenes that really make me laugh out loud.
Stewie: rings 3 bells. 3 butlers appear You! Bring me the Wall Street Journal! You two, fight to the death! 2 butlers start fightning, ‘Kirk vs Spock’ music plays
The Griffin’s sit through a sales pitch, and are given the opportunity to get either a boat, or what’s inside a mystery box.
Lois: We’ll take the boat.
Peter: Hold on a minute Lois, a boat’s a boat. But the box could be anything, it could even be a boat! We’ll take the box.
On the ride home…
Lois: I can’t believe you did that.
Peter: Come on, Lois, I do stupid stuff all the time. Remember when we were supposed to get that boat?
I like any scene where Peter falls on his face. It’s like they live on Jupiter - there are no intervening frames, just SPLAT.
Lois: “The British are charming!”
Peter: “That’s what they said about Benjamin Disraeli!”
(Cut to Benjamin Disraeli in formal 19th century attire, sitting in his study. He turns and looks at the camera.)
Benjamin Disraeli: (to the camera) “You don’t even know who I am!”
The scene where Stewie sings “Rocket Man.” Also, his Gilbert and Sullivan knockoff (“I’ll have you know it’s true that I can thrill a girl or two… but I’d rather get it on with you!”)
I’ve only heard about the scene with Osama bin Laden singing “I Hope I Get It,” but I may buy a DVD just for that. One of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.
All good scenes, but nothing will ever top Peter’s extended fight scene with the giant chicken.
(Peter walks up from the basemnet in a gas suit)
Chris: OH MY GOD THE GOVERNMENT HERE…RUN E.T. RUN!!!
Meg: Nice going, Mom. I finally get my driver’s license and you lose the car to a poker machine. How ironic.
Peter: Hey–hey, don’t talk about your mother that way. She is not an iron.
Today on Hitler, we’ll be talking with Hollywood hunk, Christian Slater.
H: Now, they tell me in your next movie, we get to see your butt.
CS: Uh, yes, yes you do.
H: Can we see it right now?
CS: Well, alright Hitler.
H: Oh my God, he’s going to do it!
‘Shake me like a British nanny!’
Peter in a clear box in the kitchen, farting, then passing out. No idea why he was in the box, but even thinking about the scene makes me laugh.
The Family Guy is one of the few shows that has at least a couple fall-off-your-chair funny scenes in every episode.
Marley23: a word of warning. From what I’ve heard, the Osama Bin Laden scene isn’t on the DVD either. Check out a P2P program (like Kazaa or whatever) if you want to catch it.
I agree that the chicken fight is probably the shining moment overall, but I gotta give honourable mention to:
Quagmire, standing naked in front of a window, with his…uh… ‘little quagmire’ caught in a painful spot: “Hello, 911? Yeah, it’s Quagmire again. It’s caught in a window this time.”
Thwartme
Hell, there are so many funny Quagmire scenes.
The episode with Stewie as a cheerleader - Quagmire finds the tied-up head cheerleader in the toilet and goes “Jackpot!” (Also, in the same episode (I think), the scene where Peter has a daydream during the cheer.
Once Upon A Weinstein - Quagmire “searching for his keys”.
I don’t remember exactly what episode this was in, but Peter has to leave Meg and Chris with Quagmire. Quagmire goes “Well, in accordance with Megan’s Law, I have to tell you that… Oh, what the hell, come on in!”
There’s also the scene with teenage Death. “I’m never going to lose my virginity! …or am I?”
The most shocking line I remember was when Chris was in the soap box derby race and didn’t want to do it but Peter was super cycked. Chris approaches him and asks:
C: Dad, what would you say if I told you I didn’t want to do the race?
P: I’d say “Come again?” Then I’d laugh, cause I said “come”.
Also, where Meg learns she can do bird calls. She does one, and then Big Bird shows up and starts harrassing her. “You called me, what do you want? DO you have any idea how hard it is to get across town in traffic this time a day?”
Also, I forget what it was, but they suddenly cut to a flashback of the Kool Aide Man bursting threw a wall, scream “Oh YEAH!” and then casually walk out the front door and leave.
Judge proclaims Peter guilty of welfare fraud. Everyone gasps, “Oh, no!” and the Kool-Aid man busts throught the wall saying, “Oh, Yeah!”. Complete silence and glares from the courtroom. The Kool-Aid man slowly backs out of the room.
The guys are in the bar and Joe is crying. The other guys quietly leave the room. Quagmire slides under the table and rolls out of the scene.
Any time Quagmire says, “All riiighhhhtt!”
Peter (while riding an elephant) : “Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican party. An elephant and a fat white guy who’s threatened by change”
Peter pontificates on a bag blowing in the wind, a la “American Beauty.” Cut to God in Heaven:
God: “It’s just some trash blowing in the wind! Do you have any idea how complex your circulatory system is?!”
Peter: “A guy at work bought a used car out of the paper, then, ten years later, BAM! Herpes.”
Tour Guide: “And, as you can see, Germany has a rich and beautiful history, as depicted in our pamphlets. Questions?”
Brian: “Yeah, I got a question. In your pamphlet, there’s a huge gap between 1939 and 1945.”
Tour Guide: "NOTHING HAPPENED! EVERYONE WENT ON VACATION!"
Brian: “But isn’t that when Germany invaded Poland?”
Tour Guide: "DIDN’T INVADE - INVITED! THERE WAS PUNCH AND EVERYTHING! ASK POLAND!"
I haven’t seen that episode (neat, I thought I had seen them all) What season is that from?
From “To Live and Die in Dixie”, the one where they got sent to the South as part of the witness protection program. Peter is in the outhouse of their house and somehow it gets knocked over…
Peter: Augh… oh, God… augh, it’s everywhere… augh, it’s in my raccoon wounds! Oh God!
And then the tour guys starts yelling in German.
On the episode where Peter goes on a date with Jennifer Love Hewit, Joe is showing Peter, Quagmire, and the black h\guy (forgot his name) the new police van. It automatically arrests the suspect. Quagmire goes to try it. He stands in the spot and to robotic arms come down from the ceiling and reads him his Maranda Rights and gently handcuffs him. The black guy goes and tries it, before Joe can stop him. He stands in the right spots and the machine says “Minority suspect, minority suspect.” and the arms come down with two clubs and beat the hell out of him. The black guy is laying on the floor curled up, when the arms decend once again and plant a gun on him.
Lois: Dammit Peter, sometimes I feel I’m married to a child.
Peter: All right Lois, I’ll give you that, but if I’m a child, what does that make you, a pedifile, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to stand here and be lectured by a pervert.
The fight scene between the whole family. The best line was after Peter hit Lois.
Lois: You can’t hit me, I’m a girl.
Peter: Sometimes I wonder.
Peter’s fight with a giant chicken. Every time I see it, I wind up in pain from all the laughing.
“Chicken…gave me an expired coupon.”
Peter takes over Lois’s play and produces his own version of “The King and I” that completely changes everything. The play is finished, and everyone applauds Peter on stage, and Lois stands up and chastizes everyone for encouraging such filth and going on a tangent on what’s wrong with society. Stunned silence, and then for no reason at all Peter lets out a huge, long, fart, completely destroying the message and mood of the scene.