I love all of these scenes, but my enjoyment of Family Guy was always enhanced by the in jokes about my state and my employer.
P.: We’re gonna play golf at the Barrington Country Club.
Friends: Ooooh, Baaaaaaarington!
Not so funny for you, way funny for me.
And
Newswoman: Ned, come down from there!
Newsman: Ned? I’ve been calling him Neil.
Again, just for me and my cow-orkers.
Brian: Look, its not that hard to act polite in front of these people. Let’s start with some simple conversation. “Its a pleasure to see you”
Peter: “Its a pleasure to see you. After Hogan’s Heroes, (name escapes me) had his skull crushed in by the man filming him having rough sex with a prostitute.” There, that wasn’t so hard! What do you think, Brian?
Brian: Wow. I mean, you really nailed this. I think you’re ready.
Peter scratches his chin contemplating some deep thought. As he pulls his hand away, he no longer has a cleft chin. Peter looks down into his cupped hand and asks “How did they get there?” With his other hand, he then pulls out his pants waistband and sticks the original hand down his pants.
Priceless.
Pea…tear…GRIFFIN!
How about the episode where Peter discovers that Chris’s penis is bigger than his? He gets an inferiority complex about it, and accuses Lois of thinking of Chris when they’re having sex. She doesn’t believe him, so they sneak in while he’s asleep to have a peek.
Lois: Wow, no wonder he slouches so much.
When Peter attends the woman conference and wants to be a woman, and tries to breast feed Stewie. Stewie’s sleepy, wordless reaction as he realizes what’s going on is hysterical.
I’m pretty sure it’s season 3, episode 20, “European Road Show.”
Stewie is seated in his highchair at the dinner table, tinkering with a “toy” laser gun.
Lois snatches it out of his hands and says “Stewie, I told you, no toys at the dinner table.”
Stewie: “Blast you vile woman! You’ve impeded my work since the day I escaped your wretched womb!”
We just watched one I’d forgotten. Lois is running for school board president and is out in the yard talking to Quagmire. Peter comes out of the house in his underwear and there’s the “laughing and cheering” of a studio audience. Peter looks across the street and there’s all these people in bleachers, then says (paraphrase) “The whole neighborhood’s gone to hell since that studio audience moved in!”
I thought of another great one:
As the walk around the grounds of Brian’s Rehab facility:
Peter: Wow look at this place! This is where god would come if he had to stop doing blow.
In the episode where Peter finds out Chris has a larger penis and he feels inferior. He buys a phallus-shaped car. Pulling up next to a guy in a normal car he says something like:
“Hey, when you go home and park your car, does your garage say ‘Is it in yet, is it in yet?’”
I also dig the Bert and Ernie in bed together revealing the pain of their dysfunctional relationship (in “Homicide: Life on Sesame Street”), and similarly the gay Grizzly Adams and Ben the Bear: “Long enough to get your number! <runs away weeping>”
UnuMondo
In the episode with the cult…
Lois says something about how Meg has been acting all wierd followed by:
Brian: Yeah, she’s an annoying little runt, isn’t she?
Lois: Brian!
Brian: What? I said RUNT.
Lois: Look stewie its the broccoli plane about to make a landing in your mouth!
Stewie: Damn you, damn Broccoli and DAMN THE WRIGHT BROTHERS!
A quote that comes up with my friends a lot, from Stewie.
“What are you all looking at? This is tuna fish! AND NOTHING ELSE!” (as the hidden laser weapon retracts into his sandwich)
I love when Peter and Lois are in Cuba and they need to find a fake passport to leave the country, so they go to the black market. The black market of course is a department store with RPGs and AK-47s, complete with musak
Clerk: “Would you like to join the Black Market Club? 10% off your next purchase.”
I remember seeing a funny scene with Osama bin Laden on Family Guy, while watching it on Adult Swim. Could someone describe the scene in question and jar my memory? They may still be playing it.
Stewie and Brian are at the airport trying to go home. Stewie puts his bag (which is full of various wepaons) on the X-ray machine. He begins to do a sound & dance to distract the security guards long enough for his bag to go past the monitor. He takes his bag and leaves. OBL comes up and tries to do the same thing.
Stewie: Well broccoli, Mother says you’re good for me. Well, I’M NOT GOOD FOR YOU.
The episode where Meg gets a job as a waitress, and Stewie gets moved to a foster home. There Stewie meets a bunch of harmonious kids from different cultures. Stewie ends of turning them on each other. Does someone remember what he says to them to make them angry at each other?
I can’t believe nobody has mentioned the diamond commercial from “Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater”. Shadows on the wall, first of a guy putting a diamond ring on the girl’s finger, then the shadows embrace and kiss, and then the girl shadow starts sinking to her knees in front of the guy shadow. Cut to the slogan:
'Diamonds. She’ll pretty much have to."
You’re memory is playing tricks on you, because that scene was clipped from “Road to Rhode island” when they played it on Adult Swim. I started a thread on it at the time
The episode is “Love They Trophy” and the scene where Stewie tells the rainbow coalition, kid’s division off goes like this:
Indian kid “Stewie, would you like to learn how to wrap a turban?”
Stewie “Why don’t you teach it to the Chinese girl? Or perhaps she can learn after her people invade your country”
IK “Yi, would your people really do this?”
S “Try and stop them. And try and stop Pablo’s people from using drug money to buy arms from Lee’s countrymen, who will in turn sell them to Yura’s people so that they can ethnicly cleanse the rest of this nausiatingly diverse grab bag of genetic party favors you call a family. So, now you understand, yes? you all hate each other?”
Kids all start crying