Classic. I defy anyone to read that w/o using Stewie’s voice.
Peter agrees to make some kind of concession to his wife’s wishes, which he follows by saying, “But just remember, honey, if I do this then tonight I get anal.”
[Pause while our jaws hit the floor.]
“…Yep, I’m gonna clean the kitchen, clean the bathroom, I’m scrubbin’ the whole house.”
Brian: Well, Peter, you’ve only got a couple hours left. If you’re going to pull a party out of your ass, you might want to stand up.
(newscasters)
Diane: Tom, I’m getting late word that you’re a petty, jealous closet case.
Tom: Bit of breaking news - we now go live to Diane being a bitch. Diane?
Stewie: (pointing at diapers) I say… Am I to spend the entire day wallowing around in my own feces? A little service here!
Stewie: (in the womb): Day 171… I’ve sprouted an odd finger. Counting the one from yesterday (:::looking down at lap:::), I’m up to 11.
(At Peter’s “vision” of Cheesy Charlie’s)
Proprietor, dressed like Satan: The children get to play our games, and if they win enough tickets they get a prize.
Little boy: I have 13 tickets now, is that enough?
Man at counter: I’m sorry Timmy, but you need 15 tickets to live!
:::Timmy drops through trap door:::
Stewie (to airport guard): Noooo, damn you! You’re one of them, aren’t you! What are they paying you? I’ll double it! I’ll give you whatever you want – money! Women! … Men?
**Weirddave ** already hit on my favoritest ever scene from anything, ever, but there are so, so many good ones in the first season and a half.
Again from “Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater,” Brian is hammered at the coming out party for Peter and is pissing into a plant, singing "Moneymoneymon-nay… <i>MONAY!</i>
“Holy Crap” has a ton of scenes, too.
I love almost all of the 4-DVD set, save for the last couple on disk three and the first few on disk four. Damn musical numbers.
Another one from when Lois runs for school president, she putting up “Griffin” signs on the lawn when Peter comes out.
Peter: Hey Lois, what’s with all the signs?
Lois: Peter, I told you last night, I’m running for school president, you never listen to what I say.
Peter: Oh yeah, now I remember. Hey Quamire, hey Cleveland… hey Lois what’s with all the signs?
And later I think in the same episode when Peter goes off on some rant.
Brian: Do you even listen to yourself talk?
Peter: I drift in and out.
Oh man, I loved that bit.
Ernie: Bert, I wish you wouldn’t drink so much, Bert.
Bert: Well Ernie, I wish you wouldn’t eat cookies in the damn bed!!
Ernie: Bert, you’re shouting again, Bert!
Which reminds me of one of my favourite scenes:
‘Holy crip, he’s a crapple!’
The scene when the exterminators are called to the house to kill bugs, the whole scene is reminisent of an action movie.
The song he does is “Good Ship Lollipop”
After he’s done, he says “Well! Let’s just hope Osama bin Laden doesn’t know any SHOWTUNES.”
Cut to OBL singing “I hope I get it! I hope I get it!”
Sorry, just fleshing it out some.
Favorite scene… Hard to remember, I did LOVE the Y2K episode.
And any with Stewie speaking of “kill lois”
The episode when Peter beleives that he is a woman and is at the Million Man March where he gets up on stage and rants about how “you are the cause of all the problems in the world”(meaning only men in general). A few seconds of silence from the crowd, then cut to an overhead shot of Peter being chased through the streets by a very angry mob.
When Brian’s on a coach with some Mexicans and tries to communicate with one of them:
Brian: Hola, uh…uh…me llamo es Brian…uh…uh…uh, let’s see… Nosotros es Ustedes Unitas–
Mexican: That was pretty good, but actually, when you said, ‘Me llamo es Brian’, you don’t need the ‘es,’ just ‘Me llamo Brian.’
Brian: Oh, you speak English.
Mexican: No, just that first sentence and this one explaining it.
Brian: You… you’re kidding, right?
Mexican: Que?
And that time where Peter and the next-door neighbor cop (forget his name) were talking about something, and Peter goes “It’s so fun, it should be illegal! You know, like copyright infringement!” then promptly morphs into Mickey Mouse and gives a few high-pitched chuckles before exiting the room.
Stewie: “Tomorrow’s forcast, sprinklings of genius and a chance of doom.”
I’LL GET YOU BROCOLI
For me, its when Peter and Lois and in their bedroom, having a normal conversation as they get ready for bed. Only, instead of putting on pajama’s, they start putting on hardcore S&M/Bondage outfits - black leather, whips, all that. Then, if I remember correctly, Lois says, “The safety word is banana.”
I almost died when I saw that. If anyone can tell me what episode its in, I’d love to know. I can’t seem to remember.
“In the words of first lady of the American stage, Helen Hayes: I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!”
“Let’s Go to the Hop”.
From the episode with Brian and Stewie in Europe:
Lost in the desert, they have to get shelter inside the carcass of their dead camel.
Stewie: “You know, once you feng shui the organs it’s rather cozy in here.”
Crazy Teacher: "Do you all have your scalpels ready kids? Because today we’re going to disect…A CLOWN! alarmed gasp from students Well here’s why this clown died- his lungs were filled with CANDY! flings candy out of clown corpse like it was a pinata
Brian, after burying his mom, asks Stewie to say something…and he does:
Yea, and God said to Abraham…You will kill your son Isaac! And Abraham said: ‘I can’t hear you. You’ll have to speak into the microphone.’ And God said, ‘Oh I’m sorry - is this better? Check check, check check. Jerry, pull the high end out, I’m still getting some hiss back here’
And then:
I never knew Biscuit as a dog, but I did know her…as a table. She was sturdy, all four legs the same length.
(Sorry, I have sooooooooo many)
Stewie’s whole “you are the weakest link” retort to some little girl cracks me up just thinking about it, wish i could remember the whole thing.