My SIL claims that she has never, every farted in front of my brother during their 12 years of marriage and that whenever she feels the need she runs out on the porch to release. She is incredibly fartphobic and steadfastly denies that she has ever even let fly an accidental fart while sleeping.
OTOH, my bro is a prolific, accomplished farter who has fine tuned the art of flatulence and she is always screaming at him for practicing his art and “forbids” their kids to fart in the house.
Just thought I’d share . . .
12 years of marriage, and still embarrassed about a fart?
I give them 3 more years, tops. 
My contention was that she has farted in front of my bro in her sleep, but she refuses to believe it. Needless to say, she’s a little tight-assed in general :rolleyes:
This is an established fact that some reason, ladies don’t like farting while guys revel in their melodious and odoriferous trouser solos, seeking elevation of same to high art whenver they feel the anal concertmaster ready to strike up the band. 
Many are the times my daughter has exclaimed, “Daddy!” because I’ve imitated a growling dog under the sofa or pointed across the room and said, “Mouse on a Harley!”
SIL is mistaken. She farts while sleeping. Just because she doesn’t make the duvet flutter or awaken neighbors, she still farts. 
Favorite Honest to Og band name:
Butt Trumpet
My ex-fiancee was agast when I said “Ahhhh, your S*it stinks too.”. She looked at me like I’d slapped her.
It was at that time I learned she ran to the far end of her house if she was going to let some kids off at the pool.
It’s one of many many many reasons why I think we’re happier off in our own respective lives.
damn … mrAru and I have farting contests sometimes - we occasionally get into a mood where we want either chili with lots of beans or cassoulet [a french bean and meat casserole] and beano does absolutely nothing for either of us - so, when life hands you farts, have some fun=)
The only time either of us worries about farts is during sex …
OK, I admit, I will curtail eating stuff I know gives me farts if I am working or planning on being out in public the next day … I have no idea why but some foods give me gas that smells like something crwled up inside and died and I really dont want to make the envionment toxic for others if I can avoid it 