[QUOTE=Miller]
Would you do it if your fat, gay black friend were in the room with you, listening to everything you say? If your playing off her insecurities, you’re going to be playing off his insecurities, too. If insulting her for those qualities is going to hurt her, it’s got the same chance of hurting him, too.
[/QUOTE]
That would probably depend on my fat gay black friend, his level of sensitivity, and our relationship, wouldn’t it? I’d probably refrain from it if I thought it would hurt him, but not if I knew that he realized what I was doing.
[QUOTE=Missy2U]
if you are calling them these things to hurt them, it’s implied that these things you call them are a bad trait - see what I mean? By calling them “fat, black, or gay” to make them feel BAD, it implies that YOU find “fat, black, or gay” to be bad as well.
[/QUOTE]
Right, but I don’t think it’s bad…they think it’s bad. That’s why it hurts them to be called that.
[QUOTE=Captain Amazing]
That would probably depend on my fat gay black friend, his level of sensitivity, and our relationship, wouldn’t it? I’d probably refrain from it if I thought it would hurt him, but not if I knew that he realized what I was doing.
[/QUOTE]
Right. Now let’s extrapolate to this board. You’re in a room, face to face with someone you don’t like, but there’s also a mixed crowd of people in there with you, most of whom you only vaguely know, several of whom are some mixture of fat, black, or gay. Would you call someone you were angry at a lardass nigger queer in those circumstances? Or would you consider that sort of language to be out of bounds, given the circumstances? Would you be surprised if the crowd turned on you, after you’d insulted someone like that?
I don’t think it’s bad to be gay. But if someone called me a fag, I’d still be hurt and angered by it. I think your reasoning is flawed, here.
[QUOTE=Miller]
Right. Now let’s extrapolate to this board. You’re in a room, face to face with someone you don’t like, but there’s also a mixed crowd of people in there with you, most of whom you only vaguely know, several of whom are some mixture of fat, black, or gay. Would you call someone you were angry at a lardass nigger queer in those circumstances? Or would you consider that sort of language to be out of bounds, given the circumstances? Would you be surprised if the crowd turned on you, after you’d insulted someone like that?
[/QUOTE]
Well, no, I wouldn’t call someone that, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the crowd turned on me. But it’s obvious that the OP doesn’t care what other members of the board thinks of him, so the restraint that I would have wouldn’t apply to him.
By the way I called my co-worker a fatass just this morning for trying to race me to the breakroom for the free donuts someone left. I almost had to knock her over.
[QUOTE=What Exit?]
…I cannot believe we actually have people in the thread equating the word fat to n!gger and f@ggot.
[/QUOTE]
Well, that’s weird. What was the point of using the ! and @ there? By specifically choosing those characters instead of i or a, you’re certainly not disguising anything. Why wouldn’t you just type nigger and faggot?
ETA: Hmm, maybe some kind of internet filter at work?
[QUOTE=lissener]
I believe, however, that he *frames *them in such a way as to reinforce his sense of himself as, well, as the little boy in the Emperor story: the only one courageous enough to speak the truth.
[/QUOTE]
Perfectly fitting for a 9/11-related thread.
So yeah, I dont think VC03 is stupid to the point of equating the woman’s actions with her behemothness. He was being insulting in an attempt to hurt her and is suffering collateral damage as a result. However, as WhyNot? was getting at, I think the outrage and hurt feelings of our resident tubbies is a little over the top. I think that instead of outrage, one of three things should be done instead: 1) Focus on VC03’s apparent problems, ala Lissener. 2) Focus on the woman in the OP and disregard the parts of the OP that send one into an earthquaking paroxysm. 3) Go for a jog.
In summary, one could say that, while it’s VCO3’s fault really, I’m tired of having a perfectly cromulent pitting degenerate into a pathetic spree of “How dare you insult my girth!” or the more subtle “How dare you insinuate that my largesse is tied to another negative attribute.” Then again, I’m not fat, so maybe I’m ridiculously offbase here.
[QUOTE=Captain Amazing]
Well, no, I wouldn’t call someone that, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the crowd turned on me. But it’s obvious that the OP doesn’t care what other members of the board thinks of him, so the restraint that I would have wouldn’t apply to him.
[/QUOTE]
Well, yes, VC03 clearly doesn’t care if he’s a board pariah or not, but that’s not the point. The point is, is the reaction he’s getting in this thread reasonable or unreasonable? Apparently, you agree that it’s a reasonable response, so I’m puzzled now as to the point of your argument.
[QUOTE=Autolycus]
." Then again, I’m not fat, so maybe I’m ridiculously offbase here.
[/QUOTE]
You got your own issue to worry about. (I’m not even going there.) I’m fat and he didn’t offend me at all. I’ve seen quite a few pit threads degenerate into a bashfest of the op over this very thing. Do you really think that most of the people offended were offended because they’re fat?
[QUOTE=MrSquishy]
Well, that’s weird. What was the point of using the ! and @ there? By specifically choosing those characters instead of i or a, you’re certainly not disguising anything. Why wouldn’t you just type nigger and faggot?
ETA: Hmm, maybe some kind of internet filter at work?
[/QUOTE]
Sorry about that, just I don’t think I ever wrote the N-word out before and I chose not to again. As I did that, I did the same for f@ggot. I actually thought about using F@t, but I thought the joke of doing that would detract from the point I was trying to make.
I do think that those people who’ve tried to draw a comparison between ‘fat’ and ‘nigger’ are going a bit too far. It’s not that I don’t think the word ‘fat’ is often a weapon to de-humanize people, it’s just that ‘nigger’ is really, IMNSHO, in a class by itself, between the history, the inability to change the condition, and the complete dehumanization it often encompassed.
[/quote]
If that is directed at me, I specified that it was the term “fat slob” I was equating with the n-word. Calling someone black is not necessarily an insult; calling someone fat is not necessarily an insult. But when you pair “slob” with “fat,” that’s an unreasonable attitude. And remember what I always say: if an analogy was perfect, it wouldn’t be an analogy, it would be the thing itself. But calling someone a fat slob, especially when they’re otherwise aesthetically presentable, as Ms. Head was shown, is where the dehumanizing comes in. I never said “fat,” by itself, came anywhere near the n-word.
Exactamundo.
And Autolycus, perhaps people wouldn’t be so bloody sensitive if they didn’t have to keep hearing it all the frakking time.
[QUOTE=Autolycus]
In my experience, not many people can get so worked up over offenses that dont involve them personally in some way. So yeah, I do.
[/QUOTE]
I’d be more upset if someone judged me for being a poor human being. YMMV
[QUOTE=Rilchiam]
If that is directed at me… <snip>
[/QUOTE]
No, I didn’t want to direct it to anyone in particular. I couldn’t remember who’d made the first comparison, and frankly didn’t care. Just meant to get my general thoughts out on a comparison that had, by the time I posted, become common currency in the thread.
In the interest of disclosure, I’m a fat crazy person. However, I’m currently prohibited from trying to lose weight, so Auto’s#3 is out, and hell, **VCO3 **is much more fun to excoriate than some chick I don’t know who is kind of sad, but didn’t appear to actually hurt anyone.
I just want to try to underscore what others have tried to convey about the insulting nature of the thread title. If someone starts a thread about a woman who did something assholish and stupid, I don’t think there’d be any discussion of the title “Stupid bitch!” However, if the woman in question happened to be black, with that feature having no bearing on the story, a title of “Stupid black bitch!” would rightfully be seen as racist and insulting. And that’s despite “black” being a perfectly OK word in other contexts.
You’re equating a physical characteristic with a negative character trait, and thereby implying that if you’re fat/black, you must also be subhuman/stupid, which is in turn insulting to a lot of posters who share the physical trait.
[QUOTE=Hilarity N. Suze]
She is, however, not talking about it for profit, or charity, or attention–well, maybe attention. She’s a very dramatic kid. And she is not fat.
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, OK, but is she a slob?
However, I’m currently prohibited from trying to lose weight, so Auto’s