Fat Tourist Wrecks Tower of Pisa!

Leaning landmark nearly topples over during visit!

‘She was-a too fat!’ says Pope.

… or so says the Weekly World news.

Some people wonder who buys these tabloid trash newspapers. And until this morning, I agreed with those that thought people were idiots for doing so.

But that all changed this morning when I finally couldn’t take it any more and had to buy a copy. That title completely cracked me up.

Inside it only gets better- “Priests battle demonic toupee: In a hair-raising confrontation with evil, a team of exorcists waged a dramatic three-day battle with a toupee possesed by a vicious satanic spirit!”, “Dear Dotti (Apparently a take off of Dear Abby, but with a twists)- I’ve fallen in love with a vampire!”


But it did get me thinking- Have any of these guys ever gone on to write comedy in the mainstream market? That is, has one of their writers moved on to, say, write for a network sitcom? Taken their act on the road? Or do these guys stick with the WWN and that’s it. I mean, some of this stuff is pretty damn funny, and considering the quality of the sit-coms out there these days, it’d seem like the obvious next step.

Oh, and the fat lady and the tower? According to a startling Italian news agency, authorites are looking into suing the two-ton tubby from central New Jersey because scale crunching Angie Floricetti’s enormous bulk “simply put too much stress” on the 185-foot structure, which was already 5 degrees offcenter. Says Paulo Fumecelli - “As soon as that fat American lady got up to the top, there was this tremendous creaking noise and the whole tower suddenly lurched farther to the south”.

Of course, government officials deny that’s there’s anything wrong with the tower, and that any one woman or man made it tilt because of their girth, but the WWN knows better.

I can’t speak for WWN, but I know that among some other tabloids the turnover rate for writers is simply enormous.

I’d love to write for WWN. It sounds like a dream job for a science fiction junkie with a love of current events.

WWN is an effing HOOT. I had a housemate at Smith who liked to buy a copy every now and then just because the stories are so damn funny.

Keep up with the adventures of Bat Boy at their web site!

I religiously bought the Star and the Enquirer for years. It was a mindless, entertaining way of wiling away the time on rainy afternoons.

I haven’t bought either one since the day Princess Diana died. I felt I somehow contributed to her death by buying that trash.



Yeah, I buy the WWN every so often too.

A friend of mine and his GF have posed for some of the photos that accompany the stories. So far he’s been an axe murderer planning a wedding to two girlfriends, a member of a band that makes music with bodily noises, and a goat-boy who was chased down and beaten by a bunch of fundies.

I love it!


Just last week I was saddened to read of the demise of a fairy and gnome occupied town in some town in Norway. The local humans got so sick of the damned happy singing and chocolate rivers, and smiling little folk that they rampaged and killed most of them. A lucky few are recovering at a secret military hospital. Tragic. Truly tragic.

So who are the people behind this paper? College guys out to have fun? Future MAD magazine contributors?

Where do they come from?

It sounds odd, but I’m actually curious. And I’m curious because they make no apologies for what they write- it’s flat-out nonsense intended to make someone laugh at its ridiculouslness.

Even the Star, the National Enquirer, et al, try to take themselves seriously, but these guys, these guys gave that up a long time ago, it’s a spoof against the medium.

*- Bat boy, huh? I better go check that out!

My seemingly-otherwise normal mother writes for WWN. She’s read it for years and years, for the sheer goofiness of it. She worked as a grant writer most of her adult life, then retired about two years ago (mostly to sit at home and read it)

Bored one afternoon, she wrote up several stories about things that really happened (but WWN hadn’t reported on yet). Really, they did. She would never make anything up. Honest. She’s my mom. Moms don’t make stories up.

Anyhow. Off to WWN she sends the stories. A few months later, she gets a letter, check, and offer of a job. My siblings and my names have shown up in stories - things we did that we’ve seemed to forgotten (hmmmm. I don’t seem to remember going to the prom with a werewolf or my neice being kicked out of school by cheating during a spelling bee by reading the minds of the judges, but there in print it says it happened…)

Ahwell. I tell people about this all the time because it’s so funny. It’s funnier than the time the goat back on the farm where I grew up drove the tractor up to the neighbors house.

-sic. I’d write more, but I have an appointment to have my third eye fitted for a contact lens.


One of my professors had a student who went on to write for WWN. Evidently it pays well and is a blast to work for. Wouldn’t mind working there myself, actually. I wonder if they even print press passes for their employees? :smiley:

Oh, no! The World Famous KROQ “Bat Boy Theme” is going through my mind!

*Bat Boy!
Bat Boy!
Bat Boy!
Bat Boy!

Heeee’s a bat!
Heeee’s a boy!..*