Oh dear God! Is my DOG Y2K compliant? Will she just sorta slump over and cease all movement on New Years? Shit! What about the cats? What am I gonna do with all the bodies? And the fish! And my anal sphincter! What if it just suddenly FAILS and I start spewing shit all over… uh, sorta like this post!
I love the doom and gloom folks. They with all their harbingers of apocalypse. As the heavens rumble and the earth doth tremble; now is the winter of our discontent… oh wait, that’s a play…
Frankly, I’m a lot more worried about PEOPLE than I am about MACHINES. I plan to just hang around the house and read a good book and enjoy the last of my cigarettes. I might have a beer or two and then sleep the sleep of the just.
Come to think of it, kaylasmom has a new guide dog with an identifying chip implanted in her (the dog’s) shoulder. Wouldn’t it be just our luck if seven hours from now she (still the dog, wise guys) turns into the Taco Bell chihuahua?
Of course truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
Mark Twain
Oh, I almost forgot. I told my mom about the water pump/water heater conversation and reminded her about that powerless winter in Grand Ronde. She said that Grand Ronde’s water came from a tank on a hill and was gravity fed. However, it is possible that other places could be without water if it’s pumped in from a resevoir.
Still ain’t going to fill my bathtub yet, though. Nyah!
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
Well, just to be on the safe side I shot the cats, the dog, the fish and dumped out the beer. Then I went over and shot the neighbors for good measure. Next I’m going to shoot mysel–
Gr8Kat, I have a similar annoying co-worker who spent most of the day listing off how much water each person has to have stockpiled and how when the power goes out the sewage treatment plants will all overflow and we’re all going to die of our own bacteria. (Groan!)
When a couple of us were discussing staying in on NYE she butted in with “You don’t want to be out on the streets when the lights go out.” I told her I’D be fine because I had one of those fancy cars that came with HEADLIGHTS built in! She then implied that it was quite possible that my car wouldn’t even work at midnight. Good lord! Like all the cars zipping along the freeway are just going to trickle to a stop! I said “JUDY! My car doesn’t know what DAY it is, much less what YEAR!” Arrrrrrgh! I don’t know how some people have been able to live as long as they have!
“Welcome to the Knowledgeum, I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as ‘Welcome to Springfield Airport’ and ‘Where’s Nordstrom?’”
My boss believed in September the earth would be plunged into darkness for 10 days, causing the distruction of civilizaion as we knew it. I asked him if he really believed that, why go to work? I mean, why spend your last remaining days in a job you hate? Yeah, I called his bluff.
Personally, I was a little worried about Y2K- more, “will we be able to flush, will we have heat if it gets cold?” kind of worries, rather than “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!”. But still. We bought a jug of water, filled a couple of jugs with tap water for our pets, and life went on. I was more worried about the developing nations than the United States. And I was far more worried about terrorists and out-of-control partying than Y2K. Thank God nothing happened.
Hey, I figure I am going to die some day. Whether it’s being hit by a truck or whether it’s the Big Doom’s Day, the end result is the same. So why worry?
I just get so frustrated with people who want so badly for the world to end. This evil, nasty, horrible world that God created, full of evil, nasty, horrible people that God created in His own image. Doesn’t speak well of God, IMHO. Nor does it make these Christians appear very grateful to God for the life and blessings they’ve received if all they want to do is wish it away.
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
I’ve heard of a prank with the same concept being pulled at some Christian camp for high schoolers. One girl overslept, and the other campers gathered together, produced a trumpet and then woke her up (from outside the cabin) with a trumpet blast. Then they ran and hid. I’ve been told that the girl in question totally freaked when she walked outside and saw that the camp was completely abandoned.
OK, I admit it. I was confident that there wouldn’t be a big Y2K disaster but I thought I’d be careful, so I stocked up on bottled water, canned food, and candles, and took a couple hundred bucks in cash out of the bank. Fortunately, there wasn’t even a small Y2K disaster, but I’m still glad I had a little insurance. Now I have water to drink, food to eat, candles to burn, and a couple hundred bucks to blow. I was very careful to stock up on cat litter. Well, now I don’t have to buy any for about two months.
When you read the sketchy accounts in Western Europe about how so people thought the Apocalpse was near as the Year 1000 drew near, I am embarrassed for my species that IN 1000 YEARS WE HAVE NOT EVOLVED INTELLECTUALLY ENOUGH TO GROW OUT OF THIS NONSENSE. Take some comfort in the remorse and regret that those people who spent so much money on end-of-civilization supplies must be feeling. As the Great Phil Hendrie said last October
“On Jan 1, I am going to be kicked back watching the Rose Bowl, and my neighbor is going to come over and ask me if I want to buy some canned food.”
I was surfing the Skeptic’s Webring yesterday and did find an educational and amusing site on Apocalyptic prophecies and predictions: A Brief History of the Apocalypse
I’m considering forwarding this URL to my co-workers, but you already know what they’ll say: “Yes, but this time we know we’re right!”
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy