My new coworker thinks the government is cooperating with aliens, trading live human beings for new technology.
Her reasoning is that the aliens can’t reproduce as easily as us, and want to study us to see how we do it. Also, “just look at all of this new technology!”
I don’t know about you, but I’m convinced.
You’re new here, right?
(quick check of join date)
Sure, you can. I’ll start. Your new coworker is a blithering, batshit insane idiot.
Q.E.D. is “one of them”
Well, I’m glad to see that Ben found work so quickly after getting laid off from here. Tell him I said, “Hi.”
I thought you meant “people that are on this board” or fellow dopers. Because, of course, that’s mandatory, innit?
You’re coworker with the aliens ‘n’ stuff? Are you near Seattle, by any chance? Because I think I know the guy.
Well we wont be getting any more new technology now that the internet has been developed and you can see how people make babies for free.
Don’t forget to inquire about his gender reassignment surgery.
We ought to extend him a complimentary membership. Sounds like our kind of folks.
This one wins the thread…
No Fun For You! Next!
Make her a foil hat, she’ll appreciate having another spare.
Cow-orker?
Alien?
Both?
One who doesn’t breed quickly?
Oh let’s play “whose co-worker is crazier”. Mine thinks that 9/11 was an inside job, the world’s Jews control the Federal Reserve, there is no law saying that you have to pay income tax, and that we should go back to the gold standard. Cuck-ooooOO!
I had a cow-orker that thought the only reason hydrogen powered cars weren’t being made, was because we would use up all of the water in the ocean trying to extract all the hydrogen from it.
I’ll never tell!
That’s not crazy-that’s electable in far too many city, county and even state governments, sad to say.
All that, and more! He also believed that the 12th planet was coming and would cause a pole-switch that would destroy everyone except those on shield bedrock. Knew it was true because Zecharia Sitchin and some woman were in psychic communication with the good aliens. There were Service-to-Self reptile aliens on Earth, living in the tunnels beneath Denver International Airport and the Service-to-Others aliens were trying to save us from them.
Apparently the Service-to-Others aliens needed just another $14.95 (plus shipping and handling).
Who does your co-worker think is missing?
At any rate, you owe it to the board to conduct the following experiment: tell C.W. you wish to know, in confidence, if she is against cooperation with the aliens. If she is, tell her you’ve been recruited, and enlist her in the anti-alien plot of going back to your place and doing it all wrong, all night long. Confide in her that the technology is home-grown, and that the aliens are paying us in sure-fire ideas for reality TV shows.