It’s interesting meeting people who have no belief filter. I have to admit I’m somewhat jealous, sometimes I wish I could still believe stuff like that. It was fun as a kid to read about aliens and bigfoot and think the world really held such things.
Damn that whole critical thinking thing is a cold hearted bitch.
Sounds fun! Okay, I see your “Jew Plot”, “Income Tax Evasion Scam”, and “Gold Standard” idiocy, and raise you the following:
My coworker thinks G. W. Bush caused Hurricane Katrina (“caused”, not “reacted poorly too” or “didn’t care about”. caused!), because he couldn’t think of a better way to get rid of all the poor folks from the land he wanted to use for secret experiments.
My coworker thinks that her 2 year old son is reincarnated from his grandfather. He has an “old soul”.
My coworker applied for this job at this particular time because her horiscope told her to, and thinks she got it because the stars were aligned properly, not because we need a warm body that can count to ten to operate the cash register, and all of the monkeys we interviewed wouldn’t work weekends.
Making fun of your co-workers is one of those unwritten rules, like posting pictures of your cats and bringing back pie.
Mine calls me the Antichrist and is convinced the world will end in 2012, and pretty much everything that happens is a sign of the End Times.
Oh, and most of the above as well.
One of the chicks that works for me, works out her interpersonal relationship problems through playacting. By using her pet rats. Here is how she describes it
When I was arguing with my SO, he just wasn’t listening. I went over to the rat cage, and picked up a couple. I started using them like a ventriloquist, and saying “Honey when you ignore me it makes me mad.” “Well, dear, when all you do is yell at me, and never have sex with me, I get frustrated.”
She continued in this vein for about ten minutes, not only disclosing WAY to much info about her private life, but also miming holding the rats and having them talk to each other. I had to leave the room, before I pissed myself from laughing so hard.
Yes, she is batshit insane, why do you ask?
How do you find all this out about your co-workers? Seriously I would love to know if the people I work with are like this, but how do you go about being told this?
Let them corner you when they’ve got a mad light in their eye and don’t interrupt the flow.
I once worked with a guy who claimed to be a Templar Knight, performed ritual magic involving rocks, and believed, of course, that the End Times were upon us.
His magic rock was pretty, though.
The fact that he was the most ardent Republican I’ve ever known made the whole thing even weirder.
My CW thinks her son is the re-incarnate of Jimi Hendrix. This pobe has forbidden him to say the word “smack” for she feels this will lead to future drug addictions and an early death. Yes, she’s serious.
So this alien race has mastered interstellar travel but not the horizontal tango?
Man, some of you guys are lucky. My best story is an admin who was surprised to learn that he DaVinci Code isn’t for the most part true.
Nutjobs like that drive us real Templars to think things that must not be written.
I’ve found the surest way is to discuss movies and tv with them, and see which programs they think are describing real events and which ones aren’t. The moment your jaw hits the floor, you know you’ve struck gold.
Does it have to be coworkers or can I do Crazy Catholic Lady that I met on a train?
Among her beliefs:[ul]
[li]The World Trade Center attacks were predicted in Revelations.[/li][li]Freemasonry is a pedophile network.[/li][li]There is a media conspiracy to never mention Catholicism. I suppose that’s why it remains a fringe religion, unknown to the public at large.[/li][li]God struck down Dermot Morgan for making fun of Catholicism in the TV series Father Ted, where he played the title character. Why him and nobody else involved? Unclear.[/li][li]The Church of England has decapitated the Virgin Mary. Figuratively, I assume, but you never know for sure with Crazy Catholic Lady.[/li][li]The Kidrun Valley in Israel is so named because “the kids would run, wouldn’t they?”. Why the kids would run is unclear, but it appears to be because they’re aborted fetuses. You’d think that would mean that they wouldn’t run, but you’d be wrong.[/li][li]We’re all combustible. Hey, I believe that too, but I don’t go on and on about it.[/li][li]God owns the speed of sound. So keep your hands off it.[/li][li]Religious freedom is extremely important and religions that don’t allow it are absolute shit. Unless you’re Catholic, in which case it’s OK to invade non-Catholic countries and kill all the people there. In fact, the very act of invading non-Catholic countries and killing all the people there is an indication that the invader is Catholic. Otherwise God wouldn’t allow it, I guess.[/li][/ul]
I’d like to trade Mosier for a new quad-core PC system, or a plasma TV - I don’t mind which.
any one know the old tv show “the judge”? the one where the camera would ‘catch’ the participants out in the hallway having candid conversations quickly laying out the entire plot (“remember to lie to the judge, because if he knew you really DID intentionally steal that money from your mother, then your false claim that your mother gave it to you would be proven false”), and the ‘judge’ apparently saw all kinds of cases, would ask a few wise questions and the span of a half hour (less commercials) would arrive at and announce his decision, which would ALWAYS be right?
I knew a woman who thought that was real.
My (now ex-) cow-orker believes that contrails are caused by the government dropping mind-control gas to keep the populace docile. She believed that GWB was the anti-christ, but now that Blair has a post-PM role in the middle east believes it might be Blair instead. She also shares a lot of the previously mentioned beliefs above.
I left my job last week, but on the fourth from last day she was hounding me about our email me being down (there was an area wide internet outage, but she thought I caused it by attempting to reboot our router), I said to her, in response to her query “Why are you being all snippy with me?”, “Because you’re crazy”. She walked out from work and refused to come back until after I left.
Mars Needs Porn.
Underlining added for emphasis – the Jews don’t control the Fed, but it’s not for lack of trying. Instead, it’s delayed due to a long-running dispute over whether religious rules against usurious interest apply to the agency that directly affects certain interest rates, and whether the people making the interest-rate and money supply decisions require purification through the Ritual of the Brown Calf (aka “Red Heifer”).
Wow, you people work with some ingant and stoopid folks. All I got is a woman who hates Google Earth, as stalkers can watch her coming and going from her house. Apparently, she doesn’t get the concept of still photography.