Fatalist Chicken Little "The sky is falling!" co-workers

The BBQ Pit
1

I have to carpool with one of my co-workers. This morning I was trying to make some small talk when I mentioned that this year the solstice and full moon will coincide and should be quite a show, especially since it’s finally stopped raining for a couple days and we can actually see the sky. I also mentioned that it’s the first time it’s happened in 133 years, and won’t happen again for at least another hundred years. Her response was, “That’s bad. The solstice and the full moon on the same night? There will be lots of black masses.” I said, “Oh.” She confirmed this was the first full moon/solstice combo in 133 years, then said, “And it will be the last.” I said, “In our lifetime, at least.” That would be the last thing I’d say for a while as I sat there with clenched teeth, trying not to laugh or smirk or sneer or growl.

She informed me that it will be the last. The world won’t last that long. The rest of the ride in, she told me all about the signs and portents of the coming Apocalypse. The weather, the earthquakes, the rebuilding of the Temple in the holy land, the rebuilding of Babylon, the positions of the stars, the New World Order, the Eurodollar, blah blah blah blah blah.

I seriously considered scoffing to her face, but I’m too spineless. Plus, she’s the huffy sort who holds a grudge and I really need her for this carpool. But it’s not just her; I have several co-workers who believe this stuff and they gather around on their break times to discuss it. I can’t very well barge into another person’s cubicle announcing, “Break it up! Break it up!” And if I had told her off in the car, then she and the other co-workers would probably gather to discuss the unbeliever in their midst who is going to miss the Rapture.

It bothers me that there are so many people who take this stuff seriously and it really, really bothers me that I have to put up with it at work where I’m trapped and I don’t dare make a scene. I’ve always considered myself Christian, which I know means being expected to swallow a number of fantastic stories, but does it mean you have to swallow everything that comes down the pike with Jesus’ name attached?

Oh my God, I just realized Christmas is 5 days away! I’m going to have to spend Christmas Day trapped with my mother-in-law that believes all this same crap and has to spout off at every family gathering. (grumble grumble) Hey, if so many people believe it, it must be true! Mass delusion for everyone! Yay!

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

The Kat House
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2

I feel for you, Gr8. Few things are more anoying than having to bite your tongue and listen to truckloads of ridiculous bullshit. Anyone want to lay odds that the doomsayers will change their tune after the millenium passes?

The best lack all conviction
The worst are full of passionate intensity.
*

3

I’ll pray that you find the Truth, Gr8Kat.

(heh heh heh . . .)

4

Please do share with us what your coworkers have to say on Monday, January 3, 2000 during your ride to work. Looking forward to the responses!

The odds that the bread will fall butter side down are directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

5

Cessandra

It’s frightening how many crazies think that world is going to end in a few days. All of us smart people know that it’s not ending until next year.

6

I feel for you…especially when you get trapped and can’t walk away. The funny thing is…people have been doing this since the day Jesus was crucified. He plainly stated during his time on earth that no man knows the time…he himself does not know it…only God know. While it’s best to be ready…I’m not marking my calendar for it…I want to enjoy my life…however short or long it may be…and when it’s my time…then it’s my time.

7

I always wish I had the nerve to ask them to put a little money on the situation. They never say, “I’m guessin the worlds gonna end” they say “The world’s definitely gonna end”. So they should be willing to put a ton of money on it. Of course, they’d never get paid, but they could prove their point.

On the other hand, we don’t live in the same world that we used to. In fact, the world of the past no longer exists, so it must have been destroyed. Argh! Gr8Kat’s coworkers are right! The world will end [whenever], because every instant that time passes, the universe is destroyed to be replaced instantaneously by a completely different, but strikingly similar, universe. Damn, I really shoulda quit before this paragraph.

  • Boris B, Hellacious Ornithologist
8

About two years ago, on on of those world-is-gonna-end dates, a girl at school bet people money that the world, in fact, would end on that date.
Think about that for a second.

JMcC, San Francisco, JJM’s page from the Bay
If I were beaned with a fastball, fling my limp, lifeless body to first, cause, dammit, I earned it!

9

Gr8Kat, here’s what you do.

Get ahold of a James Randi book entitled The Mask of Nostradamus. Go to the appendices in the back. One appendix is a list of dates throughout medieval and modern history for which the end of the world had been prophecised. (Obviously, the world didn’t end on any of these dates, because we’re still here.) The list is 3 or 4 pages long.

Photocopy all the pages from this appendix – preferrably blown up to twice their original size, if your office photocopier has this capability. Then paste them on the wall outside your office/cubicle.

Then every time somebody says all the signs are in place and the world is about to end, point to this list on your wall, and ask them sweetly what makes this end-of-the-world prediction any different from all the ones on the list.

The truth, as always, is more complicated than that.

10

If she really feels that way, tell her that you’ll be glad to take all her material possessions off her hands… and the cash, don’t forget the cash, for which she’ll have no need in the future.

Heh. Alternately, suggest that she give all her material possessions and money NOW to some charitable cause… do a little good before the end. Amazin’ how quickly she’ll back down from her apocalyptic vision.

11

Another one of my co-workers boggled my mind yesterday, too. (Yesterday was a big Chicken Little day.) She said she was going to fill her bathtub with water on New Year’s Eve so she can still flush her toilet. This stopped me dead in my tracks, and blurted out, “You don’t think your toilet is Y2K compliant?”!!?? (Mind you, the Daily Show recently featured an interview with the inventor of the briefcase toilet for Y2K, so I was worried this belief of non-compliant toilets was spreading.)

But she said, “No, it’s in case the power goes out.” Remember on Kids in the Hall when the Chicken Lady served Dave Foley an omelet made of her own eggs? Remember the look on his face when she told him? I’ve been trying to master that look for just these situations. I looked at her and said, “Your toilet isn’t electric. It’ll still work if the power goes out.”

She said, “It will for a few flushes, but then the water tank will run out and there won’t be any electricity to refill it.” I looked at her again. “But the tank will fill up again, it’ll just be cold water, it won’t heat up until the power comes on.” Of course, I’m describing a hot water heater when it dawns on me, “Oh yeah, you have a well. I forgot. I’m on city water so I don’t have to worry.”

I thought the conversation was over but she came back with, “Yes you do. You’ll run out of water too, when the power goes out.” I had gone back to my typewriter (yes, I still use one of those), but I turned and looked at her again. “No it won’t,” I said.

“Yes it will.”

“No, it won’t. The power has gone out for days before and we still had water. Electricity doesn’t have anything to do with it.”

“Yes it does. If the place where they pump the water to your house loses power, you’ll lose water.”

I didn’t have an answer for that. I have no idea if she’s right or not. One winter when I lived near Grand Ronde, the entire community lost power for almost a week. We were on Grand Ronde water at the time but we never lost it. The thing that stuns me is that she really thinks the entire nation will just go black at midnight (I haven’t asked if it will be midnight eastern time or Pacific).

The ironic thing is that the carpool lady who’s predicting the Apocalypse doesn’t think it will happen on New Year’s. Of course not, the entire world will be expecting it then, right? Well, the Bible says Jesus will come when no one expects it. Her prediction is the lights won’t even blink on New Year’s Eve. BUT the Apocalypse will be soon, there’s no doubt about that.

Aiyiyi. ResevoirDog said it best in the Mundane Pointless Christmas/Millennial Stuff thread: I’m Y2K complaisant.

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

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12

Actually, even though she says she doesn’t the Armeggedon will be on New Year’s, I think it would be funny as hell to show up at my carpool partner’s home on the Monday after and ask her how her New Year’s was and, when she says fine and asks me how mine was, say, “Oh, not bad. The Rapture was a real bummer, though. I mean, my husband, mom, and sister are all gone now, so it’s just me and the cats. But we’re OK. How are you handling it?”

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

The Kat House
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13

Gr8 -

PLEASE do that!!! I’d love you for it!

“Jesus Mary Joseph…you’re a biker chick!” - co-worker, upon hearing of my tattoo.

14

This always cracks me up. . . .

Why do you need a heater to heat your hot water? :wink:

>^,^<
KITTEN
Fluff yer hair Beula, I’s feelin frisky - M.S.

15

I posted this elsewhere, but tell her she’s got no worries. The first breakdowns will be with computers, and there’s no chanc3 of any probl3mQ wi\h o\h3r ar3!s br3aVjng dAwf, sA Mou@ w+\3t wil8 b3 tgkq

16

Gr8kat wrote:

We here on the West Coast had a huge power failure one Sunday afternoon a couple of years ago, which was spread over 9 states. A few communities within the blacked-out area (e.g. Fresno) not only had no power, they also had no water, as their water supply depended on drawing up groundwater with electric water pumps.

So a power outage can disrupt water service, depending on where you live.

Of course, you could always tell the Chicken Little lady that the water company’s computers could all go on the fritz and shut off the water supply, too. :slight_smile:

The truth, as always, is more complicated than that.

17

Where I live, the water district claims to have new generators, and enough fuel to supply water for thirty days with no outside power source.

I don’t expect any problems, but if everything goes dark at midnight, I’ll probably fill up my tub then. The water already in the towers will still flow.

It is too clear, and so it is hard to see.

18

Actually, a power outage can cause a water outage even if you have well water.
This happened to us three years ago during a snowstorm and we had to hole up with my parents for two weeks. Even though we had well water, we still had an elecric well pump. Kabam! No water.

Had to walk, seven months pregnant, about three miles through a foot of snow and ice over downed power lines carrying cans carrying cans of baby formula in a backpack (uphill all the way!) with a one-year old in tow. So it was sort of like a party. The Donner one.

19

Am I repeating repeating myself?

Sorry.

20

I have heard this doom and gloom stuff for years. And the truth is, someday it will happen. Someday the world will go to hell. (Or at least go through some sort of awful turmoil.) But who knows when? No one. And I don’t take predictions too seriously. Everyone has a prediction, there are a million bloody predictions. And one of them is probably right. The rest of them are wrong - so don’t spend too much time focusing on predictions.

The thing that annoys me are the people that thrive on doom and gloom. Like they would be unhappy if iminent doom were not looming in their lives. And when a prediction of doom that they have been counting on doesn’t come to pass, they just look for a new prediction of doom and gloom to hang on to. They say “This last prediction was wrong, but this new one I just heard about is different. This is THE one, I just know it…” They do this for years, and never recognize that there is this sick pattern that they have developed.

I believe that the future will hold some big surprises, but I don’t believe in living with dread all the time because of it. I grew up in S. Calif., where the threat of earthquakes always was in the background. We were always taught to have an “Earthquake kit” with emergency supplies. And we all should have one of those (even people who don’t live in Earthquake country!) But just because a person wants to be “prepared” doesn’t mean that they have to live with a big cloud of doom hanging over their head.