Father of the Bride Wins One!

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

Just thought you all would get a chuckle out of this, nothing more.

After the wedding of our daugther, we were doing pictures afterwards and at one point The Daughter, WhatsHisName(just kidding) and me were posed for pics.

I’m on the left, the new husband is in the middle, and the bride is on the right.

She leans over and around New Husband and sez to me:

“Hey, Dad. X and I are going to have SEX tonight!”

Nice try, kid.

I leans over and around New Husband, and sez to her:

“And I sincerely hope you all enjoy it as much as your mother and I have all through the years!!”

…It ain’t about how the hapless NH sincerely wished he wuz somewhere else about then (God, they’re so CUTE when they’re young and naive)…

It wuz about how my daughter’s jaw just freaking’ dropped…

Score one for the Old Fart and thanx fer listening.

#2

You and your wife had sex with your daughter all those years? :eek:
:wink:

#3

Heh. Good one. :slight_smile:

My son came knocking on the door one morning and teasingly said “Are you kids NEKKKKKID?”… When my Hubby replied with “Actually, yes…”… son laughed and said “Well I’m glad SOMEBODY’s gettin’ some !” :stuck_out_tongue:

#4

Well, that would keep it in the family, huh? :stuck_out_tongue:

#5

Equally good 'un!

I’m sure that through the years, New Husband will learn how to do that also!

(Um, if not, he’s in for a real baaaaaaad time. :o )

#6

The family that lays together stays together.

Ow! stop hitting me.

#7

Did your daughter just get married?

Congrats dude!

May her first child be a masculine child.

#8

I’m hitting you because you stole my line, bastard!

#9

At my brother’s wedding we were packing things up and getting ready to leave, and my brother and the father in law were joking around. At one point my brother jumps up on a table and bellows ‘I’m having sex with your daughter tonight!’. I pointed at him and said ‘Hey I don’t know who you think you are, but you have to wait in line just like the rest of us.’

#10

But only if it’s a boy. ::d&r::

#11

I love this! Why is it today’s youngsters have such a high squick reaction to the idea of us old fuckers … um … fucking? From the time I was eight, I knew damn well why I wasn’t supposed to EVER go into my parents’ bedroom without knocking. My sons can make with the locker room talk all they want, but let me make a salacious comment and :eek: !

Here’s to sex after 50!

#12

I once used the zinger inthe third panel of this strip to my pelvic affiliate’s parents…Fortunately, they’re sick f***ers, and apreciated it.

Of course, this is the family where the grandfather used to tell the kids, “Welp, I’m-a goin’ upstairs to f*** your gramma now. See you kids later!”

#13

You are a sick, twisted person. Fabulous, but sick. :smiley:

#14

We were at the dinner table, and somehow the subject came up. I looked at Littlest R and said, “Well, you know your mother and I have had sex.” (ewwwww, Dad, ugh, eeeew) I looked at Oldest R and said, “…twice!” :slight_smile:

#15

Umpteen years ago at a girlfriend’s house, she, I, and her little brother were folding laundry. Little bro picks up an old, worn-out, towel with many holes and says he’s just going to throw it away.

I respond, “Don’t do that, it’s probably your parents favorite after-sex towel.”

The look on his face was priceless. Him holding it by the corner as if it had just come out of the bedroom instead of the drier was more so.

#16

I know my parents have had sex 4 times. Once for each of us kids, and once for the time I walked in on them when I was little. Man, what were the odds that I would catch them that one time!

Susan

#17

Listen, I have come to terms with the fact that my parents have sex.

My Dad is male, and my Mom is female.

#18

I was actually in the seventh grade before I learned “how babies were made”. We had a sex-ed class in gym class and the book gave a very physiological description of intercourse. Once the words percolated through my brain, and I finally visualized what was being described, my first thought was “Then mom and dad, they…Ewwwww!”

#19

For Christmas, my sister gave my parents a get-away in a hotel, and for various reasons they had to keep delaying the date, until finally, a few months later, they were able to go.

My father calls me about something unrelated, and since I wasn’t home, he leaves a message on the machine. He decides to mention that him and mom are going to the hotel that weekend and

Um…::eek::!

Actually, I was laughing too hard to really be shocked, I mean, how many people’s fathers call to say they’re gonna get some!!! My parents have been together over 34 years, and my mom has commented to the effect that they have a pretty active sex life, so it isn’t as if this is a rare event for him. It was just…bizarre!

#20

Thanks for the funny anecdotes!

Nice to know I’m not the only diseased one here.

And it’s just a wonderful gift that for whatever reason, mentioning his or her parents having sex to an offspring trumps EVERYTHING. Puts a real brain worm in their heads…