Father’s Day always pisses me off.
While my dad fucked up in many ways (including ways that involved 911 calls and social services involvement) for many years, my sisters and I have been willing to move on and be a family because we still value his good qualities and remember some good times.
However, we can’t call him or do anything with him on holidays. No, it is just too painful for him to be reminded of the holidays that his children didn’t want to be with him. Granted, he says that he would like to hear from us any other time, but holiday calls/visits make him feel like we are just doing it out of obligation.
Does he call? No. Does he e-mail? No. Should conversation turn to the past, does he apologize for anything? No, and he can’t forgive his kids for being “unsupportive” when he was dangerously unstable (or being an asshole and blaming the mental illness- it was a mix of both).