Faux-pas from visitors that make you go nuclear

In My Humble Opinion
21

Hassling or talking trash about my pets.

I know it sounds stupid, but I have two cats, and just because someone

a.) doesn’t like cats,

b.) is allergic to cats, and/or

c.) thinks dogs are the only sensible pet option in the world,

doesn’t give you the right to yell at them or make rude remarks about them. I don’t want to get into a dog vs. cat debate (I happen to like both species) nor do I want to apologize for having a pet you don’t care for. If you are allergic I will do everything I can (including getting out the water sprayer) to keep the cats away from you, but it’s not like you didn’t know they were here when you decided to pay us a visit.

It also annoys me endlessly when people either complain about the music on my stereo/radio or just change the CD/station.

I was raised to behave as if everything in someone else’s home was both normal and delightful. Even if it was awful and weird. You’re never supposed to actually “make yourself at home,” because it isn’t your home.

This lesson apparently skipped a few people.

22

Putting your wet sneakers in my dryer, after you’ve been out playing softball in the rain.

Running out to buy pizza because I “couldn’t possibly feed all of us” with the meal I was preparing.

Wiping your kid’s nose with my tea-towel then hanging it back on the stove. Gross.

Rinsing your plate off (no soap) then putting it back in the cabinet.

Almost forgot one: Barging into the bedroom of other houseguests (Katrina victims no less) and shouting questions at them after they’ve gone to bed.

23

Someone wanting to say a public grace before a meal is annoying

24

Telling you they’re bringing a pet, instead of asking.

Leaving hairs/soap scum in the tub/shower. Just rinse when you’re finished. I know people will think I’m being too picky, but I just think it’s the courteous thing to do.

Showing up three hours later than expected. Uh, we did have dinner waiting.

25

Rearranging my living room furniture to the way you like it and acting all offended when I put it back the way it was.

Throwing the rug in the back hall in the trash because the cat barfed on it and apparently I would never be able to “ever clean it well enough to make it not disgusting”. Not replacing the rug you threw out.

Rearranging my kitchen cupboards and telling me “I was just getting things how I like them” when I put them back the way they were.

Chasing my cats around the house because you think it’s funny. Taking a metal bowl and wooden spoon and chasing them around the house while playing “drummer”.

Yelling at my dog and saying, “BAD DOG” when she drinks from the toilet, *even after *I’ve told you ten times why it’s allowed and why we’d prefer she drink from there.

Throwing out all my dish towels, even the ones my mother bought me for Christmas, because you don’t like them. (He replaced them though).

Telling my husband he shouldn’t sleep so much during the day and bugging him about it almost every single day, even though you know he works weird shifts and mainly all night long.

Asking random people at the grocery store if they want a cat because there are too many at my house and we need to get rid of a few.

Throwing out the enormous floor rug my aunt bought us last year in “your” room because the cats had slept on it and now it “probably was infested with cat bugs”. (He believes cats, even indoor cats that have never seen a bug, are all infested with fleas and ticks and other unknown “cat bugs”). Not replacing that rug either.

Laying on my couch for a minimum of 12 hours per day and then lecturing my husband and I about spending too much time on the computer. Talking non-stop during the exactly two hours per week of TV that hubby and I enjoy because you think the show is stupid.

Cooking greasy stuff and leaving the pans on the stove for me to clean up. Leaving your dishes in the living room beside the couch you never get off and waiting until I clean them up.

Telling me you’d never, ever want your infant son in my house because the cats walk in the litter box and then track microscopic shit germs all over the house. Lecturing me about how we’d be so much healthier if we didn’t have cats (after he returns from his, I dunno, 10th visit to the doctor while he’s been here for various made-up illnesses). Getting offended when I said that would be great if he could not bring his kid here to spread around all the snot and spit it’s constantly covered in.

Letting the dog run out the side door even though you’ve been told a hundred times that she is extremely dog aggressive and if the neighbour’s little dog is out she will kill it.

Saying, “well at MY house we…” about every single fucking thing as if I’m going to rearrange our entire lives and do things your way since that is, obviously, the only correct way of doing absolutley anything. I’ve got news for you…I don’t give a crap what you do at your house because at your house everyone fights, you’re on the verge of divorce and bankruptcy and no one likes to visit you because you’re a control freak who still acts like he’s a teenager at 35.
I can’t friggin’ wait for him to go the hell home. One of the cats pee’d on his lunch bag last week. It cheered me up all day long.

26

Attempting to invite himself (and a bunch of other people) over. Once a week, every week, for 6 or 7 weeks.
Dude, the answer was no the first time. It will remain no regardless how many times you ask, and I’m not buying your selective memory crap. You remember damn well that you asked me already. Trying to convince me that you’re dumb does not encourage me to continue working with you.

Also, for the love of god, close the lid, completely, on the toilet before flushing.

27

Not nuclear, but changing diapers anywhere but the bathroom is a little oogy. The cats sniffed that spot of carpet with great interest afterward.

28

Girl Hermit: Where did you run up on such a horrid creature? :eek:

29

Three letters for you: **M I L **

I’m Australian, she’s English. Apparently, she didn’t like that the soap kept sliding into the sink so she put tp underneath it. This of course, meant that we had to wash our hands elsewhere because there was no way we were going to use the tp caked soap. I left it for three days, just to see what would happen.

Day One

Day Three

After she washed her hands in tp/soap combo, I dry-retched and Mr Bathsheba threw the whole sordid mess away and cleaned the sink.

30

He’s my brother-in-law. He’s also the Golden Boy of their family because he had cancer when he was 4 and apparently that means he can act like a total tool for the rest of his life and it’s okay. Mr Hermit is the only one in his family that stands up to him (which, as you can tell from my list above, doesn’t really faze him).

I can’t decide if I feel better getting all that off my chest or if I’m more pissed off typing it all out and remembering it all again. Believe it or not I cut the list of crap he’s done by about half because it was way too long of a post.

31

Why is that man still allowed in your house?

32

People may have certain allergies or dietary needs that your in-house brand may not provide.

33

When family complains about not seeing our daughter (come on it’s a 80 min drive through the wonderful swamplands of Florida). So when they do visit they say their hellos to us and the lil one then sit down at the computer, watch tv or pass out on the floor/couch complain about how tired they are, how work/life sucks etc.

This happens nearly every holiday. On the flip side, when visitors arrive late - because they finally get a chance to see the lil one and complain about how tired they are and then you find out they were working till 4AM, but you were told they had the day off. (I am expecting you to show up for lunch, but you don’t show till 3). So come on, if you’re working - fine, tell me - don’t lie. I don’t care when you show up, but a least give me the straight story.

34

Your mother sued you???

OMFG!

Talk about top 10 ways to be excommunicated from a family.

35

People like this make me feel like there is a serious market for a low grade terrorist service that specializes in making people very uncomfortable with continuing such behaviors without breaking any laws.

36

I second this. Seriously, your *mother *sued you? :eek:

That made me laugh. And then wonder where to find such a service. Heh.

37

That is revolting. Absolutely hideous. This is someone with a very screwy concept of hygeine.

38

Not sure if this was meant for me? If it was, he is still here for a variety of reasons. It’s not forever is what I tell myself and also it makes my mother-in-law, whom I love dearly, happy. Mainly for her sake, we’ve allowed him to stay and restrained from braining him with the cat litter pans while he sleeps. He’s been here since June and (crosses her fingers and runs around her chair three times) he should be going home in the next few weeks. If he’s still here at Christmas though I may have to stab him in the eye with my Peace and Love candles.

39

Technically, no – it wasn’t a lawsuit, just a claim with my insurance carrier. But if they had denied her claim, she would have sued. Ma didn’t take no for an answer. She was cool to have around when you needed someone on your side, but nobody in the family ever crossed her. Tough old broad, except for that bad back. :wink:

40

That’s horrible! :eek:

Everyone should know, by now, that the only proper way to use Peace and Love candles as instruments of education is as suppositories. Lit suppositories. Kind of like those ear candle things, but more effective at removing gunk from the house…:wink: