Easily my favorite line ever said by Carl: “You ever been raped by a dog? See, I think that’s what Hell is like, you know. Constantly raped by dogs. That, you know, I don’t know if I believe in God, but… I think he must hate me. Because he allowed you to create a dog that constantly rapes me.”
Carl also has, when offered immortality, “No…sometimes I want to die.”
Phone spiders!
Master Shake , “You heard what I said, I said it!” I use this with my wife all the time and it usually ends badly.
The Mooninites have to be my favorite quotables from the show;
“When we say your name, just say ‘Here’, and we’ll assume ‘here’ to be short for ‘Here I am, rock you like a hurricane.’”
“You shall not live to see the next decade. You will never learn that turtlenecks are coming back - in a big way.”
“On the moon, our weekends have evolved to the point that they encompass the entire week. Jobs have been phased out.”
“We get checks from the government, and we spend it all on booze! Mexican booze!”
“That is the cheapest kind of booze.”
“You have deeply offended us and our god. And our god is a god of action. And vengeance. Our god is an Indian who turns into a wolf.”
“Umm, that’s, like, Wolfen, man.”
“Well, the Wolfen will come for you… with his razor!”
“I don’t think this belt’s working.”
“That’s because that was a Loverboy song, Err. And Loverboy has ALWAYS sucked.”
[Carl walks out his house eating a turkey leg. The army of Turkatrons see him]
Turkatron: [Looking at Turkey Leg] What is that?
Carl: Um… it’s your great, great, great…
[the Turkatrons aim their laser guided sock missiles at Carl]
Carl: …Your mother.
[the Turkatrons blow Carl up]
Ignignokt: You and your third dimension.
Frylock: What about it?
Ignignokt: Oh, nothing, it’s cute. We have five.
.
.
.
Err: Thousand.
Ignignokt: Yes, five thousand.
Err: Don’t question it.
Frylock: Oh, yeah? Well, I only see two.
Ignignokt: Well, that sounds like a personal problem.
I freaking love the Mooninites.
“I hope they can see this, because I’m doing it harder than I’ve ever done it before.”
Aqua Teen rocks.
More Mooninites:
(looking at a magazine of girls draped over cars)
Meatwad: You think that’s a straight six?
Err: I think I have a straight six!
Also love Emory and Oglethorpe. But my favorites are the annoying mummy “Cuuuurrrrrrssssseeee!” and the Wwwyzzerdd.
Professor: Gentlemen! I have made love… to this lawnmower! And in retrospect I do not why.
Despite its complete inapplicability to any situation, my friends and I constantly quote “The Highlander was a documentary, and the events happened in real time!” to each other.
Actually, the standard Doctor Weird opening “Gentlemen…BEHOLD!” works for many things… as does the Dr Weird statements when the roasted ears of corn attack Steve again:
“Gentlemen! I bring you… MORE CORN!”
“This time… SHALL BE DIFFERENT!”
“Its not DIFFERENT AT ALL!”
Billy Witchdoctor.com!
Both from Master Shake of course.
“I have friends too you know.” By the way, do not use this around someone who will reply, “No you don’t”
To the Wisdom Cube - “Define good’un.”
One convenient locations… In Africa.
Shake, coaching Willie Nelson the attic monster: "And remember, you hate women…because they have the organs you wish YOU had!
Barry the Banana: “I will not calm down until cocaine enters my system!”
I love the description of the broodwich, and how evil it is, including the sun-dried tomatoes.
Also, ultra-mega-chicken gets me everytime. “shh… he legend.”
The most quoted though for me is, “you are the burn master!” and “You dumb, I already got a wrist watch, you dumb!” even though they aren’t the funniest, I say them the most.
Tonight*…You!* (I have a custom, one-of-a-kind Tee shirt with this)
He’s not a boy anymore. Because he* RAPED ME!*
Carl steals this show.
Meatwad:
I don’t want candy anymore, that’s childish. I need candy.