“You stupid jive turkey”
Man, Jack Chick knows the streets.
Hm, the latest one, Who Cares? is missing some of the best Chick elements, but at least it’s full of falsehoods and misconceptions. I still think Dark Dungeon would have to be my favorite. The girl playing D&D by herself was just great.
“Who’s the comic strip guy
That’s not afraid to let the HAWs fly?
JACK!
You damn right.”
(GASP!) Shut yo mouth!
<cut guitar and wah-wah pedal>
jacka-chicka-jacka-chicka
This is a pretty damn lame BBQ pit thread. I mean who is offended? His4Ever might take offense if she happened by but for the most part this thread couldn’t offend Christians half as much as Jack himself does with every tract.
“Dark Dungeons” is just unbelievably unrealistic – there are girls playing! 
LOL!!! When I read that chick comic, I seriously thought it was a satire making fun of those things. Wow.
You know, I totally missed that. Good point!
It used to be much worse. For some folks it still is evil incarnate.
But when they attack Pokemon, they just look kinda silly.
Patricia Pulling gave Chick a lot of fuel for his silliness. There’s a woman who could not accept that her child had problems way before D&D came along.
My personal favorite is Gun Slinger, because of the ridiculous message that, in my opinion, is the strangest of all that Jack Chick has ever done-that you can get away with murder as long as you beg for forgiveness to Jesus. (as wonderfully pointed out in this parody of the above mentioned tract.)
[The Onion]
That sucker Jesus has forgiven me for some pretty big sins!
[/The Onion}
Well, Where’s Rabbi Waxman? was my first…
But as a Catholic, gotta love The Death Cookie. It has it ALL!
This “Dark Dungeons” thing is having kind of the opposite effect on me than I think Mr. Chick intended.
I wouldn’t mind being in a dark dungeon playing D&D with Mrs. Frost, that’s for sure.
Although, I recall from my youth when I played D&D I suffered from an acute absence of rich sultry older woman looking to corrupt my soul. Our DM was pimply adolescent boy, just like me. Where did I go wrong?
Certainly it’s legal.
Helluva bedside manner though.
“You have gonorrhea.”
Plus something much worse.
You have HIV.
There’s no cure.
You’re going to die.
And that’s just the beginning…
You’re going to burn in hell, screaming in torment for all eternity.
Pay at the desk on your way out.
Oh, and here’s a tract."
That’s what she gets for going to Student Health.
Well, shucks, y’all have already taken all my favorites (Dark Dungeons, Gun Slinger, and Soul Story). So, I’ll just add that my favorite is “any tract that has a checkbox at the end that you can mark to indicate whether you’re saved or not”. That’s the goofiest piece of religious nincompoopery I think I’ve ever seen…you can see an example here. I mean, why? Why? Why does there have to be a checkbox? Why would someone even CHECK one of the boxes? Why? WHY?!?
I think I need to lie down…
The Death Cookie?! I thought at first that was just a parody name for it on the SDMB. But no, the page is actually called that!!
“How could I gain control of all these people without the army?”
“It’s simple. Make them believe their immortal souls are in your hands.
If you can make a man believe that you have the power to put him in hell…
he’ll do anything you ask to save his skin!”
The irony… it’s killing me…
Can this guy truly be for real? I mean, in the “Doom Town” tract the people at the pro-gay rally are carrying signs that say “HATE is NOT a family value” and “God is LOVE”!! Can this guy really be so blind that he misses the incredible stupidity of actually portraying this as evil?
Not to mention the ad at the end of that tract…
Nobody else can save you!
Trust Jesus today!
50% off one-day sale!
:eek:
LOL! “If you were a true Christian Susan God’s angels would be at your bedside…Unfortunately most people die in their sins and their souls are taken and thrown into a dark horrible unspeakable place…” btw, please pay the nurse on your way out.
I thought my HMO had crappy doctors.
My favorites:
?)Holocaust - in which we learn that the Holocaust was the idea of the Vatican and the studly young hero even finds it in his heart to save an old tattooed Christkiller in the bargain. (Do you think the “kite” reference in the first panel is a pun
The Curse of Baphomet in which a young man attempts suicide rather than live with the Satanic shame of a father who wears a fez.
And of course the one that’s the subject of a debate in GREAT DEBATES right now,
Allah Had No Son , in which the good Christian insults Islam in a Middle Eastern country during a mass prayer (you gotta give him this: what he lacks in brains he atones for in balls) and explains that they are worshipping a moon god. (I guess that means that when Billy Graham speaks he’s invoking a Mesopotamian sky god.)
OTOH, they’re all winners. The killer who accepts Jesus just in time to go to heaven while the nice sheriff goes to hell for not saying the magic words, learning that the Catholic mass is really chowing down on Isis, the Jehovah’s Witness father who decides to debate in the waiting room while his daughter is dying and his bishop (or whatever JWs call their clergy) is racing at breakneck speeds to make sure the daughter dies… they’re all camp classics.
Sorry about the echo, btw. I didn’t notice yours when I wrote the above.
Shoot, if that Tract is to be believed, then I’m going to go try casting some spells!
Kewl! Are you using the 3rd Edition rules, or one of the earlier editions? I hope you’re a Monty Haul DM who likes to hand out mountains of magic items and other treasure. The munchkin in me just loves getting powerful whup-ass magic items. It’s kinda like Christmas when your paladin gets his first holy avenger.