Favorite pimple stories (maybe TMI)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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I woke up one night in BLINDING pain. OMFG pain. Burning, itching, pain.

I got up and went into the bathroom. I have no idea what could be causing this. I drew a bath with epsom salts and soaked my ass for awhile. Pain went away. Went back to bed.

Woke up an hour later, same pain as before. The burning, the itching, the cursing. Go back into the bathroom and decide to check things out. I hop up on the counter, spread the cheeks and… well, things look mostly normal.

I figure that it must be a hemmorrhoid flare-up, so I use the Tucks pads. Seems to work. Go back to bed. Wake up when the alarm goes off, and, well, soo-prize, soo-prize, soo-prize – ass pain. Walking is an ordeal. Sitting and then standing is painful.

This goes on for a day or two (waking up twice a night, painful days, etc.) After applying every salve I can think of (Preperation H, Neosporin, Cortaid) and noticing that things are really NOT RIGHT BACK THERE (a boil around 2" long and a red ass ALL OVER), I go to the ER.

Doc looks at it and says “Yup, that’s infected. Good thing you came in when you did, otherwise we’d put you on an IV antibiotic. I’m gonna give you a prescription for augmentin and Tylenol-3 (that’s the kind with codiene). If it doesn’t clear up in a week or so, come back in and we’ll operate.”

That weekend, I go to visit some friends. After sharing the story of my ass (one of my friends had a severe anal fissure once), we go to see “Gangs of New York”. It took about an hour to find a way to sit that didn’t hurt. When the movie was over, my ass felt more moist than it really should.

I got to do laundry at my friend’s house, and wear a towel most of the night, due to the ass bleeding and pus-draining.

Turns out that it was a staph infection. It’s been in the news lately, notably in prison populations. But, mine wasn’t from butt sex, nor was it drug resistant.

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I would have sworn you were getting ready to delight us with a story of a pylonidal cyst. The wife had one, as did my teenage daughter.

May God have mercy on their souls! :o It’s a miracle they’re still alive after witnessing the that gaping wound on their backside!

My apologies for sparing any good photos… I looked and couldn’t find one. Perhaps someone else can find one online?

E3

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You know, I’m all for a good, juicy zit squeeze like everyone else, but doncha think those pylonidal cysts are just way too much of a good thing? Maybe a little too disgusting and graphic?

Good, neither did I.

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ok this one JUST HAPPENED.

Inspired by this thread i went up to my bathroom to get rid of a little bugger that had been annoying me for a few days. I have to do it in the bathroom cos i love watching it…
It was just below my left nostril, below and to the left.
I squeezed and squeezed and POP it shot up onto the egde of my nostril… then the blood came and i washed it away and that was that. It still has a little bit of a sore feeling… might still be some stuff left in there (which i like to call “Pimple Cream” kind of a pun…)

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Because nothing posted on the internet ever really goes away…

Case of the Brain Zit

Pimple video - select bigzitdswe[1].wmv

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Holy shit. That video was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. Did you see the force on that explosion? Christ! And the beginning part, before it erupted, you could actually see the contents moving beneath the skin, straining against the walls of the pore. It was like this person gave birth to something. My God. The miracle that is the human body, no?

I am an experienced Pore Miner myself, and find the job unspeakably delightful. I’ve taken to working out a classification system for various zits. I’d apprecaite any input from my colleagues in the field.

First off, I classify a zit as either Wet or Dry. Wet Eruptions are obviously those that exude a liquid, and are often the swollen, reddened ones. Sometimes they simply ooze and are no more. Other times, they have a small core particle, which must be removed to insure zit destruction. Dry eruptions are those generally found on the back- no liquid, but a solid core of waxy material. Dry ones usually have no redness, but offer a satisfying burst, and can be counted on to leave a hole. Hybrids offer both. I’m currently trying to classify the core material, but have only managed to study the Dry ones in detail, especially those harvested from the scratch by mere scratching.

Your thoughts, fellow Miners?

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Word, ratty, word. I’ve never had a zit that exited my body with that sort of awe-inspiring force, but I’ve had a few zonkers when I was younger than threatened to give me whiplash. I had few where there was an actual recoil – I had to take a couple of steps back and blink in amazement for a moment.

Also, the goo that pimples exude seem to come in a variety of types, or as I like to refer to them, “flavors”. There’s the long snaky dry flavor, usually gleaned from zits from below my nostrils and around my mouth. There is the thick chunky yellow goopy flavor, usually extracted from monster zits on my cheeks. Their smaller, less impressive cousins can be found on my forehead and eyebrows. There’s the clear-liquid-with-solid-core flavor, which I tend to find on my shoulderblades. I’m certain there are many more flavors that I have yet to discover.

.:Nichol:.

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Regarding this excerpt from “Brain Zit” passage, I’m trying to decide which word is the most unsettling:

“Following the total removal of the MASS, a GENEAROUS CRANIECTOMY of all the ABNORMAL-APPEARING BONE was done (using RONGEURS), and the RESULTANT DEFECT measured 10 cm in diameter.”

Mr. Mercy Street cultivates a fingerful of bright green funk once a year or so. The first squeeze I witnessed has become a point of reference in the romance. (He came out of the bathroom once after a shower and said, “Hey, you really have to see this! My finger is about to explode!” He pointed out an area of swelling and a distinct shade of shamrock green next to the nailbed. Top o’ the mornin’ to us! We sat on the porch, in strong sunlight, and let 'er rip. Out came about a half-thimble of goo, followed by two cheesy chunks.) … Every now and then one of us will relivel that wonderful moment: “Hey, remember the time when your finger…” … got all swollen and the pus shot out?.." “… Yeah, and then I told you to squeeze it some more, and…” “… the chunks started coming? …” “… Yeah. …” “… Yeah. That was so cool!..” “… Well, maybe you can go stick your finger in some dirt or something. Get the infection cooking again. …” “…You know what would really work? If I wrapped it in a hunk of raw chicken! …”

Unprovoked by either dirt or a slab of formerly living animal, The Finger made a return appearance this week. Each day Mr. Mercy Street unleashed about a pinhead of goo. He saved the explosion for my arrival on the weekend. In truth it didn’t approach that first shared spoogefest – no excessive leakage, and no chunks, yet the goo was a delightful lemon-lime.

Next up: An ingrown hair surrounded by a dimesize swelling. He swears that next week I can nail it. Of course, I will post a full report.

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But what do they taste like?

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Damn, hit reply instead of Preview! Meant to add the following:

“Pore Miners” Somebody has to say it-----BAND NAME!

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re: big zit video.

Why. Why did I watch. Jesus, that was sick.

I need to go shower again.

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I think those are my favorites, even over sebaceous cysts (like the one in the video). You know you’re going to get something out of an ingrown hair zit, but the form always surprises you. Sometimes the hair emerges encased in a waxy substance, and sometimes it comes out with a spurt of cheesy white stuff. If you let the hair-zit form a head, there’s always a good deal of pus.

(Ingrown hair zits shouldn’t be confused with plain ol’ ingrown hairs, which snake along just beneath the surface and are easily eliminated with a sterilized safety pin. That’s fun too, but in a different way.)

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I had an itchy right ear, and after a bout of sticking my pinkie in there and wiggling to relieve the itch, I got nowhere. Along with that, I had trouble hearing out of my right ear when wearing my motorcycle helmet, as my ear canal would close if I closed my mouth.

Then, I felt the bump.

It was at the bottom of my aural (?) canal. I pressed against it with my pinkie nail (almost the most useful nail for ear things), and got a wee string of semi-solid, semi-transparent gink, followed by some yellowish-white thick runny pus.

Not much after that.

That night and the next day, I got some more thick whitish glop, followed by a general crusting over. (this during a first date with a nice young lady from Wisconsin… but she’s very nice) I tried sitting on her right side so she wouldn’t see it. I couldn’t see it at all, but I bet it looked really awful.

The next day, more thick whitish-pink pus (with yellow sticky solid-esque chunks), and I figured it was over…

I was so wrong.

It was Sunday, after a long warm motorcycle ride, and a few hours at church (still trying to stay to the right of the rather attractive Wisconsian). I was at home, surfing the web and my finger wandered into that fateful ear. First, some chunky pus, and then; without warning a sudden “ft.” sound. (even inside my ear, it was kinda quiet). I gave birth to a squarish chunk of sebum, with the consistency of a curd from cottage cheese. It was the color of cheesecake. (now that I think about it, I don’t think I like cheesecake anymore)

Since then, I’m clean, and my right ear can hear while wearing my helmet. Whooo!

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… and the Wisconsonite …?

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She can hear just fine too, I imagine, and we did hang out this Sunday, so I guess she either didn’t notice The Ear Of Deformity, or she has a strong stomach.

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… or she’s into that sort of thing. Guard your un-popped pimples with your life.

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Wow I love this thread. It proves that I am not the sickest person I know. (Despite what my husband thinks when I tell him about work. See the “Green Plug” thread for details)

This doesn’t come close to matching Broomstick or anything, but I removed a calcified whitehead type thing from a resident’s forhead. It was about the size of an eraser on the end of a pencil, waxy, malleable. It left a large crater in her forhead.
But sadly no drainage or any kind of wet messy sero-sanguino-purulent goop.

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Okay, not zit related but definitely TMI…

A few weeks ago, while doing laundry in my dorm’s communal washroom, I discovered a strange pair of blue panties had somehow made their way into my dryer. Having no way to find their owner, I elected to keep them. I have no idea who (or what) wore them last, but they fit great.

When I clean out from under my toenails, I get this gunk that has an odd peanut-buttery smell. Dead skin, maybe? It doesn’t collect under my fingernails, only my toes.

My OT TMI.

.:Nichol:.

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WHY, OH WHY MUST I READ EVERY POST?!?!?!