Favorite Quote-Idiot Tube Division

Let’s try to avoid long lists, and just post your single favorite television quote, o.k.?
I was going to go with my favorite babylon 5 Vir quote…but deep down, I know that my favorite tv quote of all time harkens all the way back to the very first episode of WKRP In Cincinnati:

The sadly short-lived drama Life with Damian Lewis had lots of great dialogue, but one line is undoubtedly my favorite. Lewis’s character is a rich cop (for complicated reasons), and his partner asks him why he’s even working for a living when he could be lying on a beach somewhere. His response:

“Do I look like I tan?”

Of course, you have to know what Damian Lewis looks like for the joke to work: http://www.washingtonpost.com/rf/image_296w/2010-2019/WashingtonPost/2012/03/12/Style/Images/137145140.jpg?uuid=zy2UsGyHEeG2y49ABpj5fA

“To alcohol! The cause of… and solution to… all of life’s problems.”

Not to be snarky, but that wasn’t on the first episode, although it was in the first season.

As Ed McMahon said to Karnak The Magnificent

There are a million things in this universe you can have and a million things you can’t have. It’s no fun facing that, but that’s the way things are.

My favorite one is from Abe “Grampa” Simpson, although it’s probably not that well-known.

“Marge, you wouldn’t know how to have fun if you were a monkey on a banana boat.”

Dammit,** Czarcasm** your limit of one quote per customer forces me to choose among many great ones from Babylon 5. I’m going to go with:

Delenn: *Only one human captain has ever survived battle with a Minbari fleet. He is behind me. You are in front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else. *

I’ll bet you a 22 ounce bottle of Arrogant Bastard Ale we had pretty much the same list of B5 quotes.

I’ll drink to that.

Here’s hoping that when(not if) someone gives that Vir quote, they provide a You Tube link.

Originally Posted by Arthur “Big Guy” Carlson
As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!

The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement!

So true.


Quoting from memory, and probably screwing it up…

It’s in the episode of Cheers where John Cleese appears as Frasier’s friend/rival. Cleese is giving a pre-marital counselling session to Sam and Diane. After Cleese says some smart thing, Diane says, “You are the wisest man I have ever met.”

Cleese replies, “High praise indeed.”

The Cleesian delivery of that is just awesome.

I was going to post the Vir quote, but I think I have to go with one of my favorites from non-fiction TV. James Burke said this on some episode of “The Day the Universe Changed”:

“Certainty is a prison, because, when you’re certain, you’re also quite possibly blind.”

Our friend Vir, with the denouement.

“Ya don’t win friends with salad”

Star Trek: The Old Stuff, the Naked Now. Sulu has just leaped between Uhura and a couple of molesters, foil in hand, sans shirt…

Sulu: I shall save you, fair maiden!
Uhura: Neither, actually. (runs away)

Bear in mind this was what, 1968?

Thurston Howell III on “Gilligan’s Island,” when the castaways think the island is sinking:

“Quick, Lovey. Let’s see if we can’t think of a way we can ‘take it with us!’”

1966, one of the first episodes aired. I believe their exact words were “Aha, fair maiden!”/“Sorry, neither!” :slight_smile: