Doesn’t have to be a whole song or even from a whole song.
What funny lyrics, snippets, ditties, whatever do you like? And give a little context if it’s cryptic.
Lately, I’ve found myself singing,
I’m a-shavin’ my shoulders
I’m gettin’ it all shaved off.
That would be Homer in the bathroom, with a patch of shaving foam on the back of each shoulder dragging a razor up them.
(sorry if this has been done before. YOU try searching for threads with “simpsons” in the title)
I like Homer’s version of “Tubthumping”:
I drink a whiskey drink
I drink a vodka drink
And when I have to pee
I use the kitchen sink
Nitpick: No apostrophe in Simpsons.
Canyonero!
Simpson… Ho-mer Simpson.
He’s the greatest guy in his-to-ry.
From the… town of Spring-field.
He’s about to hit a chestnut tree.
I also adore the Canyonero song.
*I hate every ape I see,
From chimpan-A to chimpan-Z,
No, you’ll never make a monkey out of me!
Oh my God, I was wrong!
It was Earth all along!
You’ve finally made a monkey
(yes we’ve finally made a money)
You’ve finally made a monkey out of me!*
I love you, Dr. Zaius!
Mr. Burns …“See My Vest”
Feel this sweater, there’s no better
Than authenitc Irish Setter!
See this hat, 'twas my cat
My evening wear, a vampire bat
These white slippers are albino
African endangered rhino!
Grizzly bear underwear
Turtle’s necks, I’ve got my share
Beret of poodle on my noodle it shall rest!
Try my red robin suit
Comes one breast or two
See my vest, see my vest, see my vest!
Like my loafers? Former gophers!
It was that or skin my chauffers
But a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best
So let’s prepare these dogs!
It’s the only car endorsed by a clown!
From The Monorail Song:
Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can!
Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man!
AND
Maison Derriere girls: We’re the highlights in your hairdo!
Apu: The extra arms on Vishnu!
[And if I remember right, he pops up out of nowhere for that line, holding a statue of Vishnu.]
I am e-vil Ho-mer!
I am e-vil Ho-mer!
When I was seventeen,
I had a very good beer…
The song from the end of “Homer at the Bat” rules!
“Canyonero” slays me every time as well.
Reminds me of
You don’t win friends with sal-ad
You don’t win friends with sal-ad.
Which I’ve also been known to sing around the house.
That’s the one that keeps rattling around in my head.
*When the weight of the world has got you down
And you want to end your life,
Bills to pay, a dead-end job,
And problems with the wife.
But don’t throw in the towel,
'Cause there’s a place right down the block…
Where you can drink your misery away…
At Flaming Moe’s… (Let’s all go to Flaming Moe’s…)
When liquor in a mug (Let’s all go to Flaming Moe’s…)
Can warm you like a hug. (Flaming Moe’s…)
And happiness is just a Flaming Moe away… *
Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
When I first arrived, you were all such jerks
But now I’ve come to love…your quirks
Maggie with her eyes so bright
Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright
Lisa can philosophize
Bart’s adept at spinning lies
Homer’s a delightful fella
Sorry 'bout the salmonella
…
Who needs the Quik-E-Mart?
Their floors are sticky-mart
They made dad sicky-mart
Let’s hurl a bricky-mart
The Quik-E-Mart is real…d’oh!
[sub]Excerpted from Who Needs The Quik-E-Mart? (Clausen/Daniels), ©1994 TCF Music Publishing. Used without permission[/sub]
Top of the line in utility sports!
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!
Canyonero, Canyonero!
She blinds everybody with her super-high beam
She’s a squirrel-squashin’ deer smackin’ drivin’ machine
[sub]Excerpted from Canyonero (Clausen/Cary), ©1998 TCF Music Publishing. Used without permission[/sub]
The sanitation folks are jolly, friendly blokes
Courteous and easygoin’
They mop up when you’re overflowin’
And tell ya when your arse is showin’
[sub]Excerpted from The Garbageman (Clausen/Maxtone-Graham), ©1998 TCF Music Publishing. Used without permission[/sub]
Without a Mayor Quimby, our town would really stink
We wouldn’t have a tire yard or a mid-sized roller rink
We wouldn’t have our gallows or our shiny Bigfoot traps
It’s not the mayor’s fault that the stadium collapsed!
[sub]Excerpted from “Quimby” Campaign Commercial (Clausen/Oakley/Weinstein), ©1994 TCF Music Publishing. Used without permission[/sub]
Bart was feeling mighty blue
It’s a shame what school can do
For no reason, here’s Apu
Those…were…the…days!
[sub]Excerpted from Those Were The Days (Strouse/Adams/Jean/Reiss), ©1971, 1997 EMI Worldtrax Music. Used without permission[/sub]
Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
…
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenburg a star?
[sub]Excerpted from We Do (The Stonecutters’ Song) (Clausen/Swartzwelder), ©1995 TCF Music Publishing. Used without permission[/sub]
There’s a lot of flag burners who have got too much freedom
I wanna make it legal for policemen to beat 'em
…
Then I’ll make Ted Kennedy pay
If he fights back, I’ll say that he’s gay
[sub]Excerpted from The Amendment Song (Clausen/Swartzwelder), ©1996 TCF Music Publishing. Used without permission[/sub]
When I was 17, it was a very good beer
It was a very good beer I purchased with a fake ID
My name was Brian McGee
[sub]Excerpted from It Was A Very Good Beer (Drake), ©1961, 1993 Lindabet Music. Used without permission[/sub]
Streetcar!
Long before the Superdome,
Where the NFL’s Saints play,
There was a place the damned called home,
Hear their hellish rondelet…
If there’s a task that must be done
Don’t turn your tail and run.
Don’t pout. Don’t sob.
Just do a half-assed job.
You don’t *make *friends with salad!
I adore the Planet of the Apes musical as well. Especially the break dancing part.
I’m pretty sure the second line is “Where the Saints of football play”
Sherry Bobbins
In front of a tavern, flat on his face
A boozehound named Barney is pleading his case.
Barney
Buy me a beer, two bucks a glass.
Come on, help me, I’m freezing my ass.
Buy me a brandy, a snifter of wine…
Who am I kidding, I’ll drink turpentine.
Moe
Move it, ya drunk
Or I’ll blast your rear end
Barney
I found two bucks!
Moe
Then come in, my friend!
Sherry Bobbins
And so let us leave
On this heartwarming scene…
Bart
Can I be a boozehound?
Homer
Not 'til you’re fifteen…