“Beam me up, Scotty”
“He’s dead, Jim”
“Danger Will Robinson, danger!”
“Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night”
“I crossed a Japanese beetle with a caterpillar.”
“Whadja get?”
“A kamikaze butterfly.”
“My wife wanted t’keep pigs in the house.”
“Why din’t y’let her?”
“Couldn’t stand the smell.”
“Why din’t y’open a window?”
“What? And let th’ chickens out?!?”
“Know the truth and the truth shall set you free!”
“I know the truth. And the truth is, you ugly!”
“Boy takes t’ cypherin’ like a mule takes t’ millet!”
“You expect me t’ride through the streets of Beverly Hills on that horse pullin’ that monkey in *that *wagon? What kinda jerk d’you think I am?!?”
[CUT TO NEXT SCENE WITH HORSE, WAGON, AND HOWLING CHIMP]
“Shut up, Bessie! I don’t wanna 'tract no attention!”
Do robots normally have children? :dubious: 
“Well, I can’t spend $12,000 on a handbag, but it’s free to look upon those who do with righteous condemnation.”
He’s her lobster
From a TV show?
Monty Python, as I seem to recall. 
ETA: May have been one of the movies, now that I think of it…
“You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I go get and beat you with ‘til ya understand who’s in ruttin’ command here.”
I saw it when first broadcast. It ended with them going over the top, gunfire, and a fade to a poppy field. The fate of the characters was not actually detailed. It was a very powerful ending indeed.
Anyway, my own contribution to this thread is
“You might think that; I couldn’t possibly comment.”
“Never go with a hippie to a second location” or, pretty much anything Jack Donaghy ever said. “It’s after 6, what am I, a farmer?”
“The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup at the deli.”
and on a slightly different note:
“Those are brave men knocking at our door. Lets go and kill them!”
Because the greatest TV show of all time needs some recognition here, I’ll go with…
“Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit”
Kirk never said that.
I could name dozens of Al Swearagen or Sterling Archer lines, but I’ve always been fond of the way Joe Pantoliano’s character in The Sopranos calls his stripper girlfriend a whore before he murdered her. “You whooer!” For some reason, that pronunciation during that terrible moment makes me laugh.
There’s a particular show that hasn’t been represented here yet, that I’m trying to pick a favorite line from.
“Hands up: who likes me?”
“Darling Fascist Bully Boy…”
“This calls for a delicate blend of psychology and extreme violence.”
“Uh, Vyvyan, can you actually kill yourself with laxatives?”
“Is that true, Bambi? Did you do a Disney Nasty?”
“It’s as if the kettle’s killed itself rather than be used by me.”
“The old trick, eh? Eat the telly”
I’ll always remember his line when she tried to kiss him hello: “Whoa, whoa, whoa! How many cocks have you sucked tonight?” :eek:
Okay, this is why I think this line is one of the funniest ever. Everyone chime in and feel free to correct me.
It is a classic example of “New York humor” (Jewish humor). The robot-building engineer is presenting the robot to the evil Kaos overlord. Paraphrased because I can’t remember the original dialogue. If a better googler than I can provide a link, please do.
Engineer: I give you the ULTIMATE WEAPON…the perfect death assassin…a lethal android murder machine!
Overlord: Exxxxcellent! What is it called…?
Engineer: Hymie.
Overlord: …Hymie???
Engineer (hurt): My father’s name was Hymie!
The joke is that the buildup to this death monster leads to his ridiculous ethnic name. The reaction is joke one. The Engineer’s response is joke two, pure Dada…like a response to “why did you name your adorable puppy that?”
Discuss!
…for the Youngs, this scene comes from Get Smart.
Well, I think the thing is that your ability to summon a horde of celestial superbeings at will is making my BMX skills look a bit redundant.
“Revenge is like serving cold cuts.” - Tony Soprano
“I am not a Merry Man!” - Worf
Oy, vey! More Jewish than this, you cannot get!
What else would he name the robot? :dubious: :smack: