Well, my dearest gal pal has what I consider a show-stopper of a toast, although she only delivers it when not in mixed company.
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING TOAST IS A BIT RAUNCHY.
Read at your own risk. 
*"Eat me, beat me, bite me, blow me
Suck me, fuck me, very slowly
If you kiss me, don’t be hasty
Use your tongue and make it tasty."*
Everyone’s always very eager to toast to that, I find. 