Two Words: “Organ Donor”
One word: “Donorcycle”
The ENT cauterized a mass of capillaries in my left nostril that wouldn’t stop oozing blood. I now have a scab there that I am obliged to leave unmolested. It is the size of the Yosemite Half Dome. (Or so it feels). Out! Out! Damned scab!
What’s even worse is the crap they’re doing on Mythbusters. When they’re not devoting an entire show to shilling for some crap movies or reality series (Moonshining? Really?), they’re doing these stupid commercials (in-show) where they pretend to bust myths about some companies product. They’ve pretty much sold out completely and if it weren’t for the occasional brilliant episode where they build an enormous snowplow and divide a row of cars like the Red Sea, I’d be done with them completely.
One of my least favourite scams that tv shows are doing lately is telling you that whatever show you’re watching will be right back, so you wait through six minutes of commercials, and the “show” that will continue is just the credits. That’s six minutes of my life I’ll never get back!
Nobody’s bothered to plow the eastern part of Morris County and I’m immensely pissed about it. Just because you’re going to have to do it again later is no excuse to not be doing it now. Some people still have to go to fucking work.
Sadly, if they haven’t already jumped the shark, they’re headed for the ramp.
My doctor’s office called last Friday because my doctor wanted me to come in to discuss the results of a test she ordered instead of mailing them. I originally made an appointment for today and asked if I could come in late to work. Nope, today was blocked off, so it would be considered unplanned. I rescheduled the appointment for Friday. Now I’m wishing I had said fuck it, I’ll just take the whole day instead of part of the day if it’s going to count against me anyway. Hopefully it’s nothing but the anxiety is starting to get to me.
Fuck snow.
I would also like to add: Why didn’t you listen to me and NOT drive the 30 stinking miles to your job, hubby? Especially since you slid for half of the 7 miles when you drove me to my job? Just because you called me from your job all safe and sound does not mean I’m gonna stop worrying. It is STILL SNOWING and you STILL HAVE TO DRIVE HOME!
When you get into an accident, make sure you’re all the way dead, you hear? I do not feel like feeding you blender turkey through a straw for the next thirty years.
WARNING: Possible TMI, Lady Stuff{tm}
So, I’m 44. I’ve started exhibiting some random signs of peri-menopause here and there, but nothing outrageous or unexpected for my age. I’m taking some black cohosh supplements, but that’s it.
I have also been regular like a clock for years. The time in between cycles has been gradually getting a little longer (e.g. 30 days vs. 28 days), but again, regular.
In January, I had some spotting (minor) for 2-3 days. Nothing like a regular cycle, and about 14 days earlier than when I would expect the normal. Then, at my regular time, nothing. Nada. OK, I can deal with that.
Fast forward to February 1. Still nothing, so far. My calendar says I’m 17 days late. (It is physically unlikely I am pregnant for a number of reasons, unless there’s some angel who tells me the Big Guy decided I’m to carry the next Jesus.) I’m kind of mellow about the whole thing.
Then spotting.
Then cycle. Then cramps. Then someone turned on a spigot and it’s practically streaming out of me. WTF? Making up for lost time? I hate this, and I frankly can’t wait until I’m done for good. And am I the only lady who hates the feeling you get when you’re sitting in your chair (for example) and can feel yourself bleed? :shudder:
</TMI>
I’m sorry; I couldn’t make it past the donated breast milk part. REALLY???
This is exactly my experience lately (today as a matter of fact). I will be soooo glad when my periods stop. I feel your (ahem) pain. 
It gets worse. They have an unassisted home birthing board. You know. Because one’s first thought when going through one of the world’s most painful and extremely dangerous experiences isn’t oh I don’t know . . . . . . LET A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL DEAL WITH IT. Oh no. Of course not. Why would you want to do something sane like that? Why would you trust a member of the ebil medical establishment?
Nope.
To these loons it’s “I know. I’m a human being. A human being about to push a six pound life out of my lady parts, lady parts that have not entirely been designed to do this until fairly recently. So of course I can do this myself. Hey it’s not as if woman have you know DIED IN CHILDBIRTH or anything like that. It’s not as if an OB knows something and went to medical school and spent years training to make sure they can do this safely and make sure that I don’t die and neither does my poor child. No. No. No. It’s I WILL DO THIS MYSELF BECAUSE I AM GODDESS EARTH MOMMY.”
Harvard trained OB Dr. Amy Tuteur has documented more than twenty dead babies because of such lunacy. Mothering is just fucking evil. These are women who talk about having a good birthing experience even when the baby is born with serious deficits. I’m not kidding. They are monsters some of them. I understand that you want a nice pleasant birthing experience where it feels okay.
But most normal human beings just want a scenario where the baby doesn’t get cerebral palsy or lose his sight or hearing during the process. Most normal women, given a choice between a less than ideal birthing experience and a dead or handicapped baby will be sane and choose the living healthy baby and the living healthy mommy even if she had a C-section or some stitches.
Not some of these fucks. It’s all about playing earth mommy and to hell with being an actual mom who opts for safety over patchouli. Crazy shits.
So, is there still a rule that there must be one crazy person in every car? I was witness to the changing of the cray one day. Word Salad exited the car in front as Speaking in Tongues entered at the back.
Porn star?
I can feel the love.
A shout-out to all the people who zoom through the active school zone in my neighbourhood every day. I know they’re onerous; I know they’re on for too long, and I know there are almost never any kids in any danger because there are never any kids anywhere near the sidewalks (except for about an hour total per day), but IT’S THE FUCKING LAW. If I have to drive slowly, so do you! Jerks.
When I walk around I keep an eye on people around me. If I see someone staring at me I’m going to look around to see if you have buddies around then I’m going to look back at you. And I’m going to keep you in my field of view while I pass you. If you puff up, get mad or act out because I’m looking at you while YOU’RE FUCKING STARING AT ME you deserve to be treated like an idiot.
On this note, a hearty “Fuck you!” to the parents who are in such a hurry to get wherever they are going after dropping their kids off that they nearly run over students…in the fucking parking lot of the school!
You know, about 99% of the time, these people aren’t even thinking about you. It’s your over the top reaction that causes them to wonder what the fuck is wrong with you.
Eight inches of snow today and no school. Another six forecast for Weds. More snow over the weekend. I’m a New Jerseyan not a damned Minnesotan. There’s a reason February is so short. We’d kill ourselves if it were any longer.