My right upper eyelid is, for want of a better word, spasming. It’s not painful, but I can feel the muscle (nerves?) “jiggling,” especially when I am looking down or to the side. It feels strange.
I have been on a diet for a week and a half, which for me means I am eating a LOT more healthfully than when I’m not dieting (I’m one of those overweight people willing to admit I’m that way because I eat too much and don’t exercise enough, and I’m trying to change that)–lots of fruits and veggies, no junk food, not much caffeine, lots of water, two servings of milk products a day. I exercise 30 minutes a day. I am not unusually stressed or tired. I have one chemical indulgence, but it’s not a serious one (plus, I never heard of Cheech and Chong having jiggling eyelids).
So, what do I have? Any and all diagnoses welcomed–the more far-fetched and capable of getting me pity from my friends and cow-orkers the better.
A hypochondriac is a person who thinks he’s sick when he isn’t. Therefore, you aren’t a hypochondirac; you only think you are.
Actually, I think you are suffering from placo-ocular spuriocontractivitus. I have no idea what that is, but it sounds like it could be latin for “sporadic contractions of the eye covering”.
Actually, it sounds like a rare form of nervous-system disorder, which usually starts in the eyelids, and from there spreads to the rest of the face. This usually results in all the muscles of your face spasming uncontrollably within 15 hours. By tomorrow evening, you’ll probably be seizing all over the place. The average person lasts 36 - 48 hours after developing this disorder; but there is a slim chance you’ll make a full recovery.
You know, this happens to me every now and then. It’ll last for about a day or so, and then it goes away. I haven’t been able to connect it with anything special, ie stress or certain foods. Quite a few of my friends get this too and no one seems to be very concerned. “Oh, it bugs the hell out of me but it’ll go away” seems to be the common consensus. I have never had it for more than a few hours, but I’d call someone if it didn’t go away, just to be sure.
This kind of reminds me of what happened to Micheal J. Fox. One day his pinky just started twitching and we all know what happened with that… If it keeps on doing it - go to the doctor Paladine!
Nooooo, I think you have the beginnings of Bell’s Palsy. You may look forward to your face slowly melting into your chest, and long slobs of drool hanging to your knees. And then I think it upgrades to what the Nazi guy had when they open the Ark in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”. Good luck, though.
Well, whatever it is, if you die from it, they’ll probably name it after you after you’re gone. So, you know, no matter what, there is a bright side to this!
Have you eaten any fresh imported fruits or vegetables in the last two weeks? Pears, oranges, grapes or any form of squash? Call your doctor and tell them you might have an infestation of Iberian Fluke.
After the eyelid spasms comes the itching scalp. In the latter stages of the infection, you’ll probably feel squirming around your sphincter. A LOT of squirming.
My frien’. You gots yerself what folks gener’lly call the “The Goofy Eye.” Most likely ya picked it up by dancing with a unmarried middle daughter of a preacher, by the light of a full moon.
Gettin’ rid of it is easy.
Simply bury a tater in yer back yard under the oldes’ tree, sprinkle the mound with testicle fuzz of a sterile possum, hop around it in a circle on one foot, and chant “Owa Tajer Kiam” over and over, til ya gets yerself so dern dizzy, ya keel over, ass over tea-kettle.
I agree that it’s probably worms----Guinea Worms. Although these little buggers usually exit through the feet, it is not uncommon to find them exiting from the face or even from the eyes.
But if you choose to destroy this fragile creature merely because it is causing you a little pain, I suggest you listen to the good people at The Save The Guinea Worm Foundation before proceeding with such a recklous plan. You are an ungrateful host. You have been given a chance to preserve one of God’s creatures and the world’s most endangered species and you are worried about a little excrutiating pain? What a selfish wimp.
Fanning the flames of hypochondria