That’s not funny.
How’s your eating habits? … seriously … one of the best pieces of advice I ever got from counseling was a healthy diet to combat depression … that and “stop hitting each other during sessions” …
None of us knows the details of Berty’s life, and it’s not likely that anyone here will be able to give her some formula to solve her problems. Something that worked for you might not work for her. If she really is depressed, she’d be better off talking to a professional about everything going on in her life than she would taking specific advice from a bunch of people on a message board who have never met her.
The discussion about whether life has an inherent meaning seems to me to be less than helpful. Depression is an illness that makes a person feel that everything is pointless. To debate about whether life really has meaning doesn’t target the problem, which is the illness, and might make the person feel worse. You can’t reason someone out of depression with philosophical arguments.
We haven’t heard back from Berty. How are you doing? Has anything in this thread helped?
Hey, Berty! You’re totally normal. And, even if you did want to hurt yourself, it’s no crime to have feelings. In fact, embracing them instead of denying them will help you work through them. Feelings are spontaneous, it’s how we react that determines some kind of fault of character.
I have spent many years depressed and even suicidal. I know all the ends and outs of depression and even the apathetic feelings (oxymoron, heehee.) that seem relatively harmless(like what you are experiencing).
I would not dismiss them too easily. I would also VERY strongly advise you to be acutely aware of any thoughts that are negative and directed at yourself. (I should get over this, I have no reason to be sad, I’m pathetic, etc.) Do not let your mind subtly cut you down or what you are experiencing could very well become a bigger problem.
There’s disagreement sometimes as to whether or not depression/apathy is a product of a chemical imbalance, or the imbalance is a product of your life situation. You could try medication if that suits you, or you could try therapy. However, I do not personally think those things on their own are a cure for depression. They are interventions that might make life a bit more bearable, though.
You are looking for meaning. I am curious as to whether unwittingly that means you’re lonely. Humans are intensely social creatures. Do not burden yourself with the idea that you are supposed to be uniquely “strong” or feel guilty for having had a relatively comfortable life as opposed to how horrible others have it. I sense there might be some of that here, where you might fall into a shame spiral because you ‘have no reason to be unhappy.’
I do not know you, but I do know humans. I am compulsively obsessed with figuring out how people think and come to be the people they come to be. And, ignorantly, I’d suggest maybe you’re lonely. Maybe if I knew more my guess would be totally different.
I don’t exactly know what to suggest. It’s not enough to just hang out with other people, but people who actually make you feel not alone. That can be hard to find.
In summary, you’re not a freak. You’re not a failure. You’re entirely human. And, I’d suspect, lost because you’re removed from your sense of “home” and family. But that’s entirely a guess. People give us a sense of home. We need people.
This is what someone who does not understand depression says. It isn’t helpful.
This is the “just get over it” mentality. It’s like saying to an alcoholic, “Just stop drinking.”
I know that that you have good intentions in making this statement and, the truth is, there is nothing wrong with what you are saying. The problem is that, a person who is depressed cannot move themselves to do this. They cannot enjoy the company of others.
I was in despair for most of my life. I have finally found a level of happiness and comfort. I am 54. I believe that this low level depression is treatable but it takes time.
The best advice is to get a therapist. Give the therapist a couple of sessions. If talking to them doesn’t lift some burdens, get another therapist. It make take several therapists to find one that helps you. Talk to your doctor about going on anti depressants. It make take a year or more to get the dosage right.
Write a journal, learn an instrument, make excellent meals, bake cookies for others, read “Feeling Good” by David Burns.
“Gotta kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight!!”