Fiance is questioning my committment for keeping my name.

[aruvqan]

@LSLGuy

If you travel commercially with your child without some documentation that he/she really is your child you’re actively seeking problems. Different surnames have zero to do with it.

Actually, I travel with certified [raised impression stamp not photocopied] marriage certificate, medical and legal powers of attorney, divorce certificate from first husband, DoD ID, security clearance cards, various gun permits whether or not i am carrying at any given moment, assorted security clearance or industrial ‘ID’ cards and my passport card and auto drivers license. If I am actually traveling internationally I also have the passport booklet. I also have my letter of admin and brother’s death certificate, and my mom’s and dad’s death certificates also [been doing lots of estate crap over the past year and a half so I just shoved them into my messenger bag to be prepared.]

I have originals of everything in my safe deposit box at my bank, as well as a hard drive, DVDs and some thumb drives as back up. Never hurts to be prepared.

Not that I am overworried about this current cheeto in chief, but with about 10 minutes my roomie and I can pack the SUV and momvan and evacuate to a bucket point to meet up with mrAru in case everything goes all wahooni. With everything sorted out, we could actually manage to live in a state park for a month with no resupply in a pinch. Longer if we took a hunting rifle and ammo and felt like going all survival. There is no shame in being prepared, all it means is a willingness to not end up in a concentration camp because ‘but I was born here’ or ‘but I can’t leave my property’ like many Jews did in WW2 Germany.

[iamthewalrus_3]

You should just flip a coin for it at the alter after you say your vows. Loser takes the winner’s name. That’s what my wife and I did.

[iamthewalrus_3]

@iamthewalrus_3

You should just flip a coin for it at the alter

Bah. “altar”. Embarrassing.

[wonky]

@iamthewalrus_3

Bah. “altar”. Embarrassing.

You should just flip a coin for it at the [time someone needs to] alter [his or her name] after you say your vows.

[TokyoBayer]

@Isamu

Sorry, I mean*

Does this mean the wives of most of your gaijin friends or the wives of most of your Japanese friends?

*didn’t get any sleep last night due to typhoon Lan

Hope you were OK in the typhoon.

As we were discussing what what Japanese women do when marrying foreigners, this was a comment concerning Japanese wives of foreign friends. Most Japanese wives of Japanese friends took their husbands’ names.

[Isamu]

@TokyoBayer

Hope you were OK in the typhoon.

As we were discussing what what Japanese women do when marrying foreigners, this was a comment concerning Japanese wives of foreign friends. Most Japanese wives of Japanese friends took their husbands’ names.

Yes that is my experience too. It’s a racist system.

Thanks for the typhoon concerns – it smashed up the pot plants on my veranda pretty well and was so noisy that it kept most everyone in Kobe up all night – you can’t sleep when the wind is silent for 1 minute but then suddenly yelling at you for another 3 hours. So I was lucky that sleep deprivation was the small extent of damage to me. Other people in the typhoon’s path had much worse outcomes and some people even died, as you probably know.

@TokyoBayer

It’s quite a pain in ass for a Japanese to have a foreign last name as it requires a long explanation every time it’s used.

It doesn’t really – just say my dad was Argentinian let me spell it out. Explanation is easy. Acceptance is difficult.