All right guys, I am ordering new checks with the Simpsons on them and am being given the option of putting a little quote or message on them. I’d like to put something from the Simpsons dealing with finances or related subject matter but I can’t come up with any off the top of my head. Anyone have any good ones? I want something funny. Thanks.
“Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!”
“All right, let’s not panic. I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.”
Homer’s Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer’s Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services
Bart: Wow! Look at all this loot! What shall we buy first?
Homer: A singing rubber fish of course!
Selma: “I have money. I bought stock in a mace company before society crumbled”
Dr Nick: “the most rewarding part was when he gave me the money”
Isn’t there also a scene in which Homer enjoins Bart to start smoking just so he can quit, thereby saving money?
My personal favorite re: money -
FBI agent to Mr. Burns as he’s being arrested for stealing the $1,000,000,000,000 bill:
“Mr. Burns, you’re under arrest for grand, grand, grand larceny.”
I forget the specific circumstances, but someone compliments Mr. Burns on what a rich, rich man he is.
Burns: Yes, but I’d trade it all for a little more.
A few I found, most of them are kind of long…
“Who needs college? Were trillionaires! Let’s buy dune buggies!” -Lisa
“No money, no cheque, not even a lousy card. Oh wait, there was a card, that’s what got me so mad in the first place.” -Homer
“I can’t believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!” -Homer
“Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy’s piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure…not even close.” -Homer
“All right, let’s not panic. I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.” -Homer
How about Homers “Can you pay me under the table? I’m having a little tax problem.”
“We’re rich! Rich as Astronauts!”
(After only getting pocket change from selling grease)
Bart: Dad, all that bacon cost over $20.
Homer: But your mom paid for that!
Bart: But she gets her money from you!
Homer: And I get my money from grease, what’s the problem?
I like the conversation Homer had with his brain, myself.
Homer: Extended warranty, how can I lose!
Much too long for your purposes, I think, but one of my very favorite ever:
Mr Burns: If it’s a crime to love one’s country, then I’m guilty. And if it’s a crime to steal a trillion dollars, then I’m guilty of that too. And if it’s a crime to bribe a jury, I’ll soon be guilty of that too!
–Cliffy
Homer to the art gallery owner, after his barbecue hit her car,
“I suppose you want to sue me too.”
“No I don’t”
“Oh, yes you do, the average settlement amount is $64,000. Here you go.”
Pulls money out of wallet.