I like this idea a lot. I might also buy a little box of nice chocolates. A flower is too much.
No gifts - just the wine toast as suggested.
The other alternative would be to take a cheap birthday candle with you and get the restaurant to put it in her dessert as a cute, half-jokey gesture, just for a laugh, and say the same thing about being the first to wish her a happy birthday. But certainly no flowers, no chocolates, no gifts or romantic gestures at all, and I’m not even sure I’d do the toast AND candle. Keep it light, just enough to show you remembered but not so much it becomes a big deal.
No cute & half-jokey stuff, please. Especially no candle–some restaurants have “special” birthday packages that just embarrass–probably not romantic ones, though.
Just a toast & a birthday wish.
Have her home by 11:45.
But seriously, if you’re going to do the wine toast, just a quick mention of the birthday and then don’t bring it up again. Of course, I’m one of those people that doesn’t make a big deal out of birthdays- mine or anyone else’s, other than a quick “oh- happy birthday”- but just mentioning it will show her that you cared enough to remember, but aren’t going to get obsessive over it.
But YMMV.
Yep. And then, if you sense that she thinks you’re coming on too strong, throw in a little dark humor by picking up a fork and adding, “…and the last. Bwahahaha!” She’s sure to laugh!
(Don’t trust me on that, though)
NO. You have no idea if she likes being the center of attention or not. I personally hate when the restaurant knows it’s my birthday. I’m over 11, birthdays are only important to me, my parents, and my SO, and in this case, I don’t have one.
I have the same problem with the rose. Ugh - why don’t you just tell everyone it’s my birthday? The wine toast and the “first one to say happy birthday” is more than enough.
It’s a first date. Gifts, roses, etc. are way over the top. Acknowledge the birthday and go from there. Have dinner, enjoy the company, be yourself. If your normal self is not impressive enough, then it sucks for you. Trying to be overly impressive is not being yourself and comes off as desperate.
No rose, no gift. It’s over the top, and then she has to carry it around all night, which is a pain.
I do like the “I get to be first to wish you a Happy Birthday!” thing. Bonus points if you can come across with a bit of little-kid excitement that makes you look really cute while saying it.
Give her a good spanking at midnight.
This is like that Seinfeld episode! There’s probably something horribly wrong with her and you’re doing a huge favor by taking her out, but you’ll never find out what it is
No gift on a first date.
Where’s the “like” button for this?
And this? 
This. Emphatically, this. Triple this.
I would say ‘Ask me how I know’, but, I have sworn that I shall never in my life reveal this.
**NO **cute etc…
Here’s yet another vote for doing the toast and NOTHING ELSE. It would be too easy for anything else to come across as creepy or overly eager.
I also strongly agree with not letting anyone else in the restaurant know it’s her birthday in case she doesn’t want the attention.
One reason you don’t want to make a huge fuss over her birthday is that if she is an adult (as I assume), she might be self-conscious about getting older and would prefer NOT to dwell on the fact she’s older.
I knew she was special before I ever met her. 
I have a general rule since I’ve been internet dating that I only invite a woman out for drinks in case I’m so not into her I want to cut the evening short. After texting and talking over a few weeks time, I knew that wasn’t going to be the case with her. I hate to sound like a naive sap and I’m sure a few of you will pounce on me for saying this, but I was really falling for her before we even met.
During our conversations I told her that she looks so wholesome and that I bet she likes to bake. She was surprised how well I called that and she told me she bakes with her son every Friday night.
When I parked my car and walked towards her house, she was coming out. I could feel my heart drop a little, the same way it does when I hear her laugh on the phone. She was even more beautiful in person. She had a box with her. After we greeted she handed me the box and told me that she baked me some brownies. She is so sweet!
At the restaurant we could not have had a better table. It was a tiny, candle-lit table in a dark corner. I ordered wine and we lifted our glasses so I could make a toast. I said something like, “Debbie, I know it’s a few hours early, but I wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday. Happy Birthday!.” She said, “You remembered!” We both took a sip of our wine and luckily it was a very small table. She leaned across the table inviting me to meet her in a kiss and I leaned in and met her half way. It was the best first kiss ever. It was also the best date I ever had. I know she’s going to be my wife some day.
I’m with you. Another old school romantic type who loves to plan a sweet surprise. ( I once hitchhiked 65 miles through the countryside of Pennsylvania to surprise my girlfriend ). Perhaps to hedge your bet AND plan a neato dessert, call ahead for two really sweet plump ripe succulent chocolate-covered strawberries. Chilled, on separate plates for dessert. If she’s a drinker, yeah wine or champagne with that. If she doesn’t drink, then the strawberries are already planned for…
Have a great date !!!
See post 36.
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nm too 