Stand-up Opener:
So, uh hi folks… well. This is my first time…
(slightly nervous chitter from crowd)
You know… I said that on my last date… Ironicly… she didn’t laugh either.
(general laughing)
I’m thinking that it has the distinct flavor of “If you think you’re going to be getting some anytime soon, you can just forget it.”
Ah now you tell us! I take back everything I said. Well except for the sense of humor part. Which you could test by asking her that if you’re going on another date, if she could please leave baby Jezus with a sitter, and in return you’ll go to Church with her (if that is what she does, of course). That way you’ll have sorted out real quick how bad it really is. 
Arwin, Tenar, jester, yer killin me.
True enough, twick.
Not to put anyone on the defensive, but it is a little interesting how quickly folks went from playing moderate devil’s advocate about her to throwing up their hands when I mentioned the religious part. Granted, I pretty much agree with you- but it says something about the knee-jerk reaction we have to the openly religious.
Something only exacerbated, I’m sure, by that knuckle-scraping maniac in the White House.
(Not to get defensive, but:) I’ve got nothing against people who believe in God – I’m one myself. I was responding to the fact that you seemed to have an overall not-enthusiastic reaction to this woman (“and another thing that I was a little put off by…”).
If you’d like to ask her out again, do. If not, don’t. You don’t have to justify it to us – just be comfortable your own self with the decision.
Surely you didn’t lump me in that group of folks, or you yourself need a lesson in irony.
My reaction has nothing to do with your White House maniac - I dated a very religious guy for three years (I’m not particularly religious myself), and it was, well, I don’t want to say a waste of three years, but it kinda was.
It’s also interesting to note that there hasn’t been word one about you being different races (I assume you’re not Japanese). In my opinion, being different races is easier to work out than being different religions, and I don’t think that makes me prejudiced against religious people.
Well, these boards aren’t exactly what could be called religion friendly.
I had the same thoughts that everyone else had, though, and I am openly religious.
If she’s as into Jesus as she seems, you’re probably not the man for her. She’s open with her faith, you keep it close to the vest. Are you going to want to be with a woman that’s always trying to drag you to church, pray with her and the kids, etc.?
If not, then you need to just go on ahead and find someone else, and let her do the same. There’s always friendship, right?
Yes, of course. That’s kind of what I’m hoping for, because I geuinely like her as a person. It would be a shame if she only wished for getting together or even communication between us if it was incumbent on a deeper guarantee. But word has reached me through our mutual friends (yes- much like passing notes at recess; isn’t it all so cosmopolitan?) that she’s absolutely interested in something further.
What I’d like to do is drop her an e-mail (we’ve correpsonded briefly that way) to stay in touch but not ask her out again or call her at the moment. Would that be a mixed signal? The idea being, I’d like to be in contact with you, but I’m not interested in a romantic pursuit. I dunno, the thought of just not contacting her at all feels cruel, in some way.
featherlou, I didn’t mean to suggest you were exhibiting prejudice against a religious person. Apologies to anyone who feels I was painting them with too broad a brush with my comment about the religion thing.
No worries, you Moody Bastard. I didn’t want my post to come across as defensive, because I wasn’t offended - just explaining where I was coming from with personal experience.
Gotcha, featherlou.
Three years, huh. Well, at the time I’m sure it didn’t seem like a waste.
In other news, I just sent her what may have been the dullest e-mail ever formulated on a keyboard. “Hi! Boy, six more weeks of winter, can you believe it?” etc. All in an attempt to stay in touch without sending any wrong signals.
Funny I started this thread out of first-date jitters!
Actually, it kinda did at times. It was intensely frustrating - I learned that you can’t make it fit if it just doesn’t, no matter how much you like each other or how much you wish it would work.
Yup, that is about the dullest email ever. So, ask her on a second date and get it over with. Except, of course, when you ask her on a second date, her hopes will get all up and stuff.
Moody, what if you just told her how you feel about her? friendship doesn’t work well with “Issues We Don’t Speak About For Fear Either Of Us Will Feel Rejected (IWDSAFFEOUWFR)” hanging in the air.
IWDSAFFEOUWFR makes for many a wonderfully confusing relationships that give us girls (an guys) endless sources of nervous excitement and gossip with our friends. I can just hear your friend on the phone to her friends. “Mel, can you believe it? I went on a date with Moody, we shared our deepest religious beliefs, and today he sends me an e-mail about the frigging weather? What does that mean, in boy-speak, Mel?”
But if you want a nice friendship with this girl, clear up the IWDSAFFEOUWFR, and fast, before they have cost too much emotional energy on both sides.
And after all, the message is hardly unpleasant. “I like you as a person, but I don’t think we’re each others marriage match made in heaven. Want to go grab a movie with me sometimes, as friends?”
Maastricht offers good advice. My best friend these days is a guy I met through an online personal. There was no chemistry there as a couple, but we immediately became great friends.
This totally leaves aside two other really good friends of mine, both of whom I went through a stage of “dating” before we defaulted to a platonic relationship. It is possible, at least for some of us.
I absolutely agree. One date just seemed kind of early to greet this woman with Why I Don’t See This Happening Though I Like You a Whole Bunch. A wee egotistical, maybe.
I mean the fact is, sometimes you just know, but you can still come off as a dweeb if trying to “clear up” things too early. That’s just my impression.
It’s interesting how it works, twick. My best friend of the past 12 years I was initially involved with. Most other romantic interests have fallen off the face of the earth.